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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Daughter wants to be a dad when she grows up
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 4:40 pm
What does it mean? I just opened my daughters yearbook and most kids answers were.... I want to be a mommy, I want to be a Morah... my daughter wrote.... I want to be a daddy!

Does this mean my emotional connection to her is weak? Does she connect to her father more?
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 4:46 pm
I wouldn't worry about it at all. Perhaps there is something she finds interesting about your DH's work, or she thinks it's neat that he goes into the city every day, or you say such nice things about him she wants to be that great, too....or she's a kid and just said that one day when someone asked her. She's apparently comfortable enough in her home and school environments that she's able to say what pops into her head rather than what all the other kids are saying or what she senses others expect her to say. Or maybe she thought it was cute and silly. Who knows?

I would not read too much into it.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 4:47 pm
Kids say very weird things. I wouldn't worry about it
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 4:48 pm
Maybe look at the yearbook together with her & then ask her about it - oh, I see you want to be a Daddy when you grow up -- that's so interesting - what are some things you think you'd like about being a Daddy?
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bsy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 6:06 pm
Kids say funny things. I had a student who wanted to be a duck when he grew up. We couldn't get anything else out of him.
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 6:08 pm
I wouldn't even give it any more attention. We live in a crazy society, of course your thoughts will go there, but it's likely absolutely nothing at all. I worked with a girl whose principal said she thinks like a man and I did see a lot of interesting thought processes that did seem more male-like. I have no worries about her at all.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 6:09 pm
Don't pay attention to it.
I said all kinds of crazy **** when I was a kid. Worry about it only if she says the same answer when she actually grows up Smile
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 6:17 pm
Many kids would say something like this just to be davka and opposite. Like if you went around the class asking about a fav food and they all said candy, I'm sure there are kids who would just say "Brussels Sprouts" as a kind of joke.
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 6:21 pm
Get her a pair of overalls and put away the dolls. Very Happy

It's healthy for a little girl to adore her father. Don't worry so much.
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 6:29 pm
I guess I tend to worry a lot cause I'm the authoritative parent, dh is barely home and is all smiles and hugs. So I worry that she doesn't like me so much.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 7:10 pm
Maybe she likes the idea of being the one to make kiddush. Maybe she sees how hard you work and thinks being a dad is easier. Maybe she's being funny. She's a kid. Who knows what peculiar ideas they have? As long as she's not going around secretly wearing tzitzis, tefillin and jockey shorts and telling you to call her Yankel, I wouldn't worry.
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amother
Red


 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 7:23 pm
amother wrote:
I wouldn't even give it any more attention. We live in a crazy society, of course your thoughts will go there, but it's likely absolutely nothing at all. I worked with a girl whose principal said she thinks like a man and I did see a lot of interesting thought processes that did seem more male-like. I have no worries about her at all.


I've been told by many that I think like a man and they're probably right too.
But, guess what? It doesn't affect me in any way. I'm still a woman just like everyone else around here. (Unless that's why housework isn't my cup of tea!)
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 7:23 pm
Honestly I would prefer to be a dad too. Seems a lot easier than being a mom.
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 7:25 pm
tichellady wrote:
Honestly I would prefer to be a dad too. Seems a lot easier than being a mom.


Yeah me too embarrassed Sad
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 7:53 pm
She's a little kid, don't think so deep! She probably thinks you can be whatever you want when you grow up. A mom, dad, morah, boy... to them it's all the same!!!
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 8:32 pm
How old is your DD? Frankly if it was my DD I'd love to explore the topic. I'd probably bring some of the thoughts expressed in other posts on this thread. It's interesting to learn about our children's perceptions of gender roles.
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OutATowner




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 9:52 pm
I don't think OP is worried about her having male tendencies. She is concerned that her DD (possibly) adores her father more than her.
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PAMOM




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 10:17 pm
OP, kids sometimes tend to take the mother for granted so she may be seen as less exciting at times. Please don't take it personally!
FWIW--when I was about 4, I wanted to be a fire engine. Not a fire fighter--a fire engine.
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 10:25 pm
At age 13 my son wanted to be a Mommy. He would try on my skirts, my turban. I was secretly resigning myself to .......
Fast forward to his adult life.....he's a man! Dresses like a man, talks like a man.
And he helps his wife around the house: sweeps and washes the floors, cooks, bakes, washes dishes. He enjoys domestic work.
I'm laughing because of what HE meant when he said he wants to be a Mommy, and what I heard through my own fearful filters...
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 20 2017, 11:01 pm
You are deeply overthinking this. Most kids don't even think that hard into their answers (I'm assuming this is a preschool yearbook. Half of them just copy each other. Your DD is BH an independent thinker.) I think all it means is that she loves her dad and considers him a good role model. This is a positive thing. It doesn't put down your connection. Even if it does, kids at that age tend to swing back and forth between "favorite" parents, changing a few times as they fill different developmental needs.

And I'm going to go a step farther, and this may sound harsh but I mean it kindly, you and your daughter will both benefit if you can get past the type of insecurity that this post expresses. If you're going to worry that the bond between your daughter and her dad is a negative reflection on you - well let's just say I can't see that leading anywhere good. She needs you to support this relationship.
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