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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
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amother
Amber
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 Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:20 pm
It was a wedding between two of his people;
In his own shuhl
CD for music
No meal just hotfood
Guest were kept to a minimum like at a bar mitzvah
Paper dishes
No badchan
No furniture
No packages like two bekitses 12 pairs of dry goods 4 sets of linen. They bought just the minimum needed for chussen kallah to start out.
No fancy sheva Bruchos, only a supper for chussen Kallah and their parents.
I don't know if I'll be able to do this but I think it's amazing that 2 mechutunim could do this!!
I love the idea of;
Living within ones budget.
Even it is in your budget, you still don't make an extravagant wedding.
The confidence this young couple had to go all the way with a simple wedding.
I wish this sets a new example for every one.
What do you think?
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cnc
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:23 pm
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Beautiful. I just want to comment about the amount of guests- I saw videos and photos of the chuppah and dancing. It was a very nice sized crowd and very leibidik! Kudos to this young mature couple.
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amother
White
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:24 pm
whos yoilie roth? can you post a link to the wedding? who is this?
this sounds so interesting. there was also a wedding in breslov in williamsburg recently written in the newspaper. of this type. it was in a shul and the wedding cost 1,000$ the whole thing! it even had the names of the machatunim in there, someone weberman. dont remember the other side. I was so impressed. I would definitely do this with my kids. absolutely.
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amother
White
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:29 pm
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I just googled his name and im seeing people say hes a cult leader telling children not to listen to their parents. is this the same person we are talking about? google yoely roth and see what im talking about. I want to make sure were talking about the same person.
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amother
Ivory
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:30 pm
| amother wrote: | whos yoilie roth? can you post a link to the wedding? who is this?
this sounds so interesting. there was also a wedding in breslov in williamsburg recently written in the newspaper. of this type. it was in a shul and the wedding cost 1,000$ the whole thing! it even had the names of the machatunim in there, someone weberman. dont remember the other side. I was so impressed. I would definitely do this with my kids. absolutely. |
That is the wedding your talking about it
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amother
Ivory
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:32 pm
| amother wrote: | | I just googled his name and im seeing people say hes a cult leader telling children not to listen to their parents. is this the same person we are talking about? google yoely roth and see what im talking about. I want to make sure were talking about the same person. |
It is not true.. I know him personally...
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cnc
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:34 pm
| amother wrote: | | I just googled his name and im seeing people say hes a cult leader telling children not to listen to their parents. is this the same person we are talking about? google yoely roth and see what im talking about. I want to make sure were talking about the same person. |
We're talking about the same person, but the accusations are old and it's a bunch of politics basically. R' Yoel Roth is the founder/ menahel of Breslov Yeshiva in Williamsburg (and grandson of Rav Chaskel Roth). You can listen to his shiurim on YouTube.
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asmileaday
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:45 pm
I thought it was amazing. I doubt it will start a trend but it would be great if it did.
There's always whatsapp clips going around of his schmoozes with his bucherim. I wish every yeshiva would talk to the boys like this.
He's a voice of reason in the unrealistic bubble our chassidish system tries to raise our boys in.
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amother
Lime
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:48 pm
The "just do it in a shul" is not a very practical option, IMO. How many shuls (that could fit a crowd) do you know that would give up their learning and davening space night after night during the busiest time of day?
I love that they didn't serve a meal to a thousand people. That is one of the most expensive excesses of our weddings. I'm sure there was a minyan who washed so they could do the sheva brochos, right?
Maybe I'm not the sentimental type but seriously, who needs cousins by the dozens traveling from far and wide to celebrate with a chassan and kallah who barely care what's happening around them?
Regarding how the couple is set up, there are lots of expenses that could be cut from the way we do it now, but it's only fair to do so if the couple has a legitimate financial plan so that they can afford necessary expenses as they come up. For a young kollel couple struggling to make ends meet, that extra pair of tzitzis from "shtuffir" makes a huge difference a few months later.
I don't see how we can have this type of wedding on a regular basis, unless halls are willing to skip the catered meals.
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amother
White
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:49 pm
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im listening to one of his shiurim now. hes obviously talking to boys who were thrown out of yeshiva and need chizuk. I hope he succeeds.
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amother
Jetblack
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:53 pm
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I am very pro this. I am not a fan of big fancy weddings. I think they are a big waste on money. And rather spend the money on something that lasts like furniture, jewelry or Save it. My in laws make such lavish simchas and spend all their money on that and is really sad to see them not being Able to pay their bills after. (And they do not set up the couples at all. No furniture. Nothing. )But each to their own. Everyone has their proirities.
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amother
White
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:53 pm
| amother wrote: | The "just do it in a shul" is not a very practical option, IMO. How many shuls (that could fit a crowd) do you know that would give up their learning and davening space night after night during the busiest time of day?
I love that they didn't serve a meal to a thousand people. That is one of the most expensive excesses of our weddings. I'm sure there was a minyan who washed so they could do the sheva brochos, right?
Maybe I'm not the sentimental type but seriously, who needs cousins by the dozens traveling from far and wide to celebrate with a chassan and kallah who barely care what's happening around them?
Regarding how the couple is set up, there are lots of expenses that could be cut from the way we do it now, but it's only fair to do so if the couple has a legitimate financial plan so that they can afford necessary expenses as they come up. For a young kollel couple struggling to make ends meet, that extra pair of tzitzis from "shtuffir" makes a huge difference a few months later.
I don't see how we can have this type of wedding on a regular basis, unless halls are willing to skip the catered meals. |
totally have a great point. the thing is that there are plenty of shuls that are only used for shabbos and people dont daven there in middle of the week daven elsewhere for convenience for instance where I live in lakewood. so its doable if you want to. listen if we want to make our life bearable and not give ourselves so much heartache in terms of finances we can figure it out.
nothing stands in the way of the will of a person. I personally would love it. would not have minded had my parents did it.
when my mother was talking about a tenoyim for me I clearly told her I dont need one. I was totally fine not having one. so if you have a child that is willing but ther parents are the ones who want the kavod then its their problem. there are many children that see their parents struggling and are willing to help. there are those that are not. just saying.
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amother
White
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:56 pm
op I love that you brought this up. I actually screeched when I read it. I couldnt beleive that we would get there. I am so proud of the chosson and kallah. may they have true happiness.
for a couple to be so different and so willing is rare but just goes to show.
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cnc
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 12:57 pm
| amother wrote: | | im listening to one of his shiurim now. hes obviously talking to boys who were thrown out of yeshiva and need chizuk. I hope he succeeds. |
He is very successful bh. He's been around long enough that we can see the fruits of labor.
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amother
White
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 1:20 pm
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which yeshiva is he rosh yeshiva? what type of yeshiva is this?
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amother
Lime
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 1:29 pm
| amother wrote: | totally have a great point. the thing is that there are plenty of shuls that are only used for shabbos and people dont daven there in middle of the week daven elsewhere for convenience for instance where I live in lakewood. so its doable if you want to. listen if we want to make our life bearable and not give ourselves so much heartache in terms of finances we can figure it out.
nothing stands in the way of the will of a person. I personally would love it. would not have minded had my parents did it.
when my mother was talking about a tenoyim for me I clearly told her I dont need one. I was totally fine not having one. so if you have a child that is willing but ther parents are the ones who want the kavod then its their problem. there are many children that see their parents struggling and are willing to help. there are those that are not. just saying. |
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the type of shul that is only used for Shabbos is not usually suited for hosting a crowd, even if for a very simple affair. You do need a dance floor, good air-conditioning, and space to store/serve food and drinks.
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Zehava
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 1:30 pm
Making such a small affair ok fine
But scrimping on the socks? Na
You're marrying off two kids. Give them enough socks and linen .
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amother
Amber
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 1:44 pm
| amother wrote: | | Correct me if I'm wrong, but the type of shul that is only used for Shabbos is not usually suited for hosting a crowd, even if for a very simple affair. You do need a dance floor, good air-conditioning, and space to store/serve food and drinks. |
If you can afford that, no one is taking it away from you!
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cnc
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 1:45 pm
| Zehava wrote: | Making such a small affair ok fine
But scrimping on the socks? Na
You're marrying off two kids. Give them enough socks and linen . |
I understand where these "takanos" are coming from. Although a dozen socks is very normal. People in my circles get married with 2-3 dozen pairs of socks/ tights. I personally returned a dozen unopened pairs after, when I realized how ridiuclous it is. It's not as if I never do laundry - why do I need over a month's supply of tights? Why do people need "Kallah coats" , and other unnecessary things that have become the standards? (This discussion is most likely only applicable to certain circles  )
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cnc
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Wed, Jun 28 2017, 1:46 pm
| amother wrote: | | which yeshiva is he rosh yeshiva? what type of yeshiva is this? |
As mentioned above- Breslov.
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