Can you recognize who is underneath an anon posts?

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 7:23 am

amother wrote:

Only once

Anon poster lamented that as a part of small community she had to cook a meal for someone postpartum, whose parents came to help her, and this was her first child. Meanwhile, the poster worked full time, had a toddler, and was newly pregnant w/ her second one and very nauseous. Plus her husband was in gradschool and only came home for Shabbos. No one knew she was pregnant. She described her situation in great detail and I essentially was able to tell who she was. I kept it to myself, and some time later she did announce she was pregnant. Wink

You mean you knew her real identity, or her screen name?

amother

Slategray

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 8:49 am

crust wrote:

And I'd say that if you're so devoted, do it all the way!! Come out with your SN.
According to you we already know so much about her, why skip the detail of who on ima is so close to her?

I don't know her IRL so it doesn't matter. I'm on imamother long and often enough to know how old her kids are, what kind of person her husband is, and some issues she's faced. I can also recognize her posting style. And if I can do it, so can other posters, because I'm really not so good at this. A friend of mine who is on here has recognized quite a few people, and I, hardly any. I'm clueless like that and can't be bothered to remember a gazillion details about a person haphazardly thrown around. But a poster who posts a lot of posts with a lot of info about herself makes it easy to be recognized under the rose, so she needs to watch herself - if she cares.

crust

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 9:00 am

amother wrote:

I hear you. Still why wouldn't you post this under SN?

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 9:02 am

crust wrote:

And I'd say that if you're so devoted, do it all the way!! Come out with your SN.
According to you we already know so much about her, why skip the detail of who on ima is so close to her?

I was actually thinking the same thing. This whole thing happened about two years ago, maybe more. And two years later she just happens to open the exact thread where I mention it? And is so sure it's the same post, all while all parties involved were anonymous? That is confidence for you! Why go anonymous? Let everyone know how savvy you are! And let me know who my admirer is please!😀

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 9:08 am

amother wrote:

And for FTR, you really don't know what kind of person my husband is or any issues I faced. It kind of annoys me that you think you do. You can't know a person from some random things on the internet. And my husband is thank G-d a wonderful person. I thank Hashem I married him every day. And I thank Him for my wonderful kids too. And for my life, which is pretty great too. So now you know all about me.

amother

Amethyst

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 9:08 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

Such a positive attitude! I would have been hurt from the way she went about it. כל הכבוד!

crust

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 9:26 am

amother wrote:

mommy3b2c, I apologize for annoying you. I sincerely meant to your benefit. And when I said "what type of husband" I did not mean it in a negative way (which it seems you took it like that). I'm sorry.

I'm trying to understand what type of benefit you're talking about.
Let's say I decide to post here that I am the owner of Shoe Palace in Boro Park, my husband is an unemployed jerk or too cool for my hashkafos my parents gave me up for adoption and my adoptive parents turned out to be very abusive. Whatever.
What the heck can you do with this information? Apparently I don't care that you or anyone else knows all this, because I posted it publicly. On the other hand, I posted it online and being an adult I can be trusted enough that I've carefully decided which details to twist and which ones I don't care to make known.
What are you telling mommy3b2c?

cnc

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 9:35 am

crust wrote:

I think the point she is trying to make that sometimes people think that they are anonymous but they really aren't, or that there are certain issues people wouldn't discuss in public (and tell their sil and neighbor) but they write it online without realizing that they're easily identifiable to their next door neighbor and sil who are actually on here. Now some people actually do NOT care that all their information is out there and others WOULD care but they think no one knows who they are anyhow.

amother

Slategray

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 9:50 am

crust wrote:

To take your example further, let's say your daughter is about to get engaged but she has genetic condition and you don't want anyone to know that (because you're protecting your daughter's privacy and because of all the details about your life, that was one thing that would bother you if people knew about... so you post anonymously asking for advice, or venting about the situation. However, as part of your developing thread, posters ask questions, and you respond in order to give them a fuller picture. So you mention your dh's unemployed status to explain why you're so stressed about the upcoming simcha, and you mention your annoyance with him about your different hashkafos. But buying shoes for the family will not stress you because that's not a concern for you. When someone asks you about getting emotional support from your parents you say that there's no one to talk to. So I now know that this anonymous post is crust. Now because I don't know who crust is IRL it doesn't matter to me, but it might matter to you to know that now everyone who knows you IRL (and there are posters who do and you don't care) knows that your dd is going to get engaged soon and your dd has a serious genetic condition. And that's something that you do care , proof being that here you did post as amother, to be anonymous. But you're really NOT anonymous with all that info. So I tell you that you might want to edit your posts and leave out the unrelated details that are very specific to your situation. You can deny it's you but it's obvious. so if you really want to be anonymous, instead of giving all the info and then denying, just don't give that unnecessary info in the first place. I hope I made myself clear because I was really not trying to be mean.

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 9:52 am

mommyla wrote:

mommy3b2c, I'm not that amother, but would you want to know if you were recognizable under amother?

Not particularly. If I wrote what I wrote, I'm obviously comfortable with it. And it kind of gives you an uneasy feeling when someone anonymously tells you they know who you are. And the whole point of this thread was, there is no way to be sure! I rarely write anonymously, but the few times I did, I change my writing style, the kind of words I use, the amount of children I have and their ages, etc... so it's just speculation anyway. As so many on this thread wrote, people pmd them sure that they found them out, only to be wrong.

In general, I really can't stand when I post something on a thread, and someone brings in something else I wrote elsewhere. Especially when they are anonymous. I find it really rude. And it happens all the time.

For example, someone will ask a question about finances and I'll give an answer. And then Mrs anonymous will chime in- "you're not qualified to answer because you don't work". It's really annoying. Leave the rest of my life out of it. The op does not need to take my advice. But I have as much right to give it as anybody else.

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 9:56 am

amother wrote:

And let's say you wrote that your husband is unemployed and that shoes are not a problem just to throw people off? When really you are the one who is unemployed and it's clothing that's not a problem because you get hand me downs from your sister . Basically, you can guess all you want, but there is no way to be sure.

crust

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 10:07 am

amother wrote:

Ok. Now I at least understand where you are coming from.
So your concern is that my mechutunim might hear through ima that my child has a serious condition ch"v that I'm not disclosing? I hope and pray that if theres anything they have to hear, as long as I'm in full consciousness they should not have to hear anything from ima And vice versa.

Chayalle

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 10:14 am

Let's say someone posts an anonymous post, and she wishes to remain anonymous, both in terms of her SN and IRL. So she copies someone else's writing style, or perhaps some details of her life. Like, she could indicate that she lives in Lakewood, her DH learns in Kollel, and she posts about her daughters.

IRL perhaps she lives in Atlanta, her DH is an accountant, and she has only sons.

But posters pm Chayalle as they are certain she's that anonymous poster.