Finances -whos in charge?

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 6:11 pm

I'm asking specifically when the wife is the breadwinner because husband is in kollel/ school.
(Not if the husband is out of a job, or didn't get his first job yet and is planning to work next month, etc)
Does the wife always take responsibility for the finances?

tigerwife

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 6:13 pm

Nope. If I did, we'd probably have shut-offs every half year oh so, lol. DH takes care of all the bills because he is very meticulous and responsible. I should probably at least look at the bills that come in but I leave it all to him.

amother

Wine

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 6:16 pm

DH is responsible for paying regular bills because he's good at keeping track of that kind of thing.

Major financial decisions- loans, credit cards, taxes, budget, refinancing- that's my thing.

amother

Tan

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 6:17 pm

you are asking as if there is a blanket answer to your question. What do you mean by "take responsibility for finances?" because the #1 part of finances is to bring in money into the home to pay expenses of the home. If the wife is the breadwinner then- this is the wife.

amother

Green

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 6:23 pm

Just me myself and I. I'm not the breadwinner but I am the bill-opener, the english-reader and action-taker.
Now before you jump up on me that I should read Laura Doyle, I don't want. LOL

amother

Slategray

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 6:23 pm

There isn't a blanket rule. Each couple needs to see what works for them.

By us, I keep track of the day to day finances. I am more detail and number oriented. DH is better with the big picture. Major financial decisions are jointly decided in theory. In practice, once we pay rent, tuition, and basics, there's no money left.

We both work but I bring in the majority of income.

amother

Violet

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 6:27 pm

Husband pays the bills. Wife does the shopping. Husband has all kinds of unrealistic budget ideas. Wife ignores them.

rachel0615

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 7:31 pm

A husband and wife r one unit. The unit has diff needs- financial, emotional, spiritual. In some marriages both ppl in the marriage need to fill all these needs together. In some marriages like urs, ur dh is filling up the units spiritual needs and ur filling up the financial. However ur still a unit!!! The unit decide a everything together including finances regardless of who brings in the money. There will be times where u feel more passionately about spending on something and he should respect that and vica versa. Jmho

kugelzlady

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 9:28 pm

I take care of our financess, including paying bills, making (and keeping to) a monthly budget, and looking into things like special offers with credit cards. I work and my husband is learning. I make and spend most of the money, so this makes sense for us. My husband is very laid back while I like to be on top of things. I also like to help keep his list of things to do on the shorter side so that he can learn well! It works for us.

amother

Lime

Thu, Jun 29 2017, 10:15 pm

My husband works and I still take care of all the finances. He made it clear that it would be my responsibility when we got married since I would be the one spending the money. I love it, I'm more organized and he doesn't have to see the credit card statements LOL

TwinsMommy

Fri, Jun 30 2017, 12:40 am

My husband and I both work but the bills and everything $ related is all me. I allow him to do all necessary grocery shopping on a credit card or if there is room on the debit card, I give him a $ limit. Smile

If he needs cash, I give him cash. Anything other than groceries gets discussed unless it's a pack of socks. For instance last week he wanted to get some new pants so he ran it by me beforehand. Very untraditional of us, but we have a wonderful marriage.

We've been married 19 years so far and he's a WONDERFUL father, a very caring person, and a great educator--- but money is NOT his thing!

We never bounce our checkbook and I always know how much debt is on each credit card. Someday we'll be debt free and I'll be even happier about our $ situation. Smile

amother

Seashell

Fri, Jun 30 2017, 12:47 am

My husband is actually finishing his years in kollel this year and has a job lined up for next year. I don't think anything will change with regards to who takes the active role in finances. I'm more of the numbers person and detail oriented. We do monthly reviews on the budget and all big decisions are done together.