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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
The new kid on the block



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amother
Yellow


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2017, 5:40 am
I live on a wonderful block with several frum families, each one nicer than the next. Recently, my mothers friend's daughter who's a few years younger than most of us moved a few doors down. She also a lovely pleasant person. We're not close friends but definitely well acquainted. I introduced her to everyone, hooked her up to our block group chat, told her where we often sit and shmooze while we watch our kids play, tried to welcome her as much as possible.
We also have a bus stop rotation. Since we all have little kids and it's hard to Shlep out daily and wait for our kids bus, a few of us decided that we'd each take 1 morning every 2 weeks or so and stand by the corner until all the kids are safely on their busses. When it's your turn, you arrange for Dh to be home with little ones or get a babysitter or bring your baby with u whatever, u figure it out. Everyone's thrilled with the arrangement. 1 mother volunteered to set up the schedule and gives it to us. If a day doesn't work for me I find someone to trade with. It's an optional thing, not everyone chooses to join.
Now she comes from a very wealthy home and was a bit coddled growing up. Even now a few kids later, her mother still spoils her. So when I told her about this bus stop rotation she was so happy and asked to be included. The volunteer put her on the schedule.
Now this new neighbor complained to me how this day doesn't work for her what should she do. I told her to find someone to switch with. Then she said oh I'll just give someone money to take my slot. I cautioned her against doing that. We're all pretty comfortable, no one needs the money, it's something we all put a little effort in for each other. I don't think she gets it. Then she said oh I'll have my cleaning woman stand there. I told her we rely on mothers/fathers who can contact another parent in case their kids bus doesn't show. I don't want her to give a bad impression of herself, she's really a nice person, just too coddled that she doesn't realize what she's trying to do isn't mentchlech. If she wants she can opt out of it and take her kids herself. How can I explain this to her? What would you do?
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amother
Blush


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:57 pm
she needs time to adjust to the culture of this group. In the mean time - help her out with some of the unwritten rules. Be blunt if you need to.
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tigerwife




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2017, 11:03 pm
Why can't she switch days? Maybe she is shy, can you reach out to the others for her? Imagine you didn't know her background and that she is 'a bit spoiled'. Would you help her reach out to the others to switch as she seems too shy to ask everyone herself?
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