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In-town vort/l'chaim



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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:09 pm
Someone who lives out-of-town posed a question to me. Lets say Family A (boy) is from NY is making a simcha with OOT Family B (girl) and the initial l'chaim will be in the NY. Family B is much simpler, is happy with "bare minimum" and would do that back home. Doesn't want to look "Cheap" but doesn't have a lot of money to spare, especially travelling for the simcha and would like to devote more money to the upcoming wedding, shaitels, clothing etc. Family A has their family and friends and want something "respectable , but more people will be coming to the L'chaim for them than Family B. When Family B invited them to OOT, but they declined to go. To what extent does Family B have to accommodate Family A.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:16 pm
I don't understand the question. B Accommodate A with what regard to what?
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:20 pm
amother wrote:
I don't understand the question. B Accommodate A with what regard to what?


To what extent does Family B pay for the "Extras" that Family A wants? Trying to set a good tone, but financially doesn't feel its worth it for them.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:25 pm
amother wrote:
To what extent does Family B pay for the "Extras" that Family A wants? Trying to set a good tone, but financially doesn't feel its worth it for them.


Extras for what, the wedding? They don't. They contribute to the the wedding that they can afford, or want, and Family A pays for extras.

Or extras for the Vort? same answer. you said it was the initial vort.. will there be another in OOT? In this case - why doesn't each family pay for their own.

What does the Kallah want, and does that matter?
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Fri, Jul 07 2017, 4:41 am
amother wrote:
To what extent does Family B pay for the "Extras" that Family A wants? Trying to set a good tone, but financially doesn't feel its worth it for them.


None . Everyone pays within their means. If the other side wants more they can contribute.

Same with wedding.
My siblings in laws wanted shmorg nice flowers etc they contributd more.
My wedding? My ilaws weren't giving more than their share. They would make a nice wedding if the other side is sharing the bill (example their other child) but my wedding? No it was simple fare. Fake flowers etc.
(It was still a beautiful affair. Smile
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