Does it matter what she stole?

33055

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 11:20 am

amother wrote:

I usually change the toilet paper and tissues.

I might have to take an inventory. Thanks for the advice.

But if they run out while you are not home, then she has to change them.

amother

Puce

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 11:24 am

Squishy wrote:

But if they run out while you are not home, then she has to change them.

She doesn't though.
That's why I do notice when things are missing.

Thanks for all tje replies.

amother

Peach

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 11:27 am

amother wrote:

I hear what you are saying.
But I feel like its different when someone is in your most private space. They have access to everything of yours. You need to be able to trust them. I don't want to fire her! I like her. That's why I am asking here if it matters what she stole.

If an employee was constantly stealing pens though, would it be okay?

It also messes with my mind. I buy tissues to use on shabbos when they are on sale. I know I had and 5 minutes before shabbos there is nothing in the closet.

Yes I could have used them, but I'm 95 percent sure I didn't. Its a very uncomfortable feeling always second guessing myself and wondering if I am going crazy.

Also. I am happy to give her these things. But I am not happy with her helping herself.

So you want her to ask you every time she replaces tissues or toilet paper? Paper towels I would be sure she's using for cleaning. But if you don't trust her then that's a problem.

She also babysits for you?

amother

Puce

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 11:31 am

amother wrote:

No. I didnt say that. I would like her to ask me if she wants to take these things home with her. As I said I usually change the toilet paper and tissues.

justmarried:)

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 11:49 am

Does she come to your house with a big bag to put this all in? Do you see when she leaves? My cleaning help come with small purses these big items wouldn't fit...

amother

Puce

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 11:53 am

justmarried:) wrote:

Does she come to your house with a big bag to put this all in? Do you see when she leaves? My cleaning help come with small purses these big items wouldn't fit...

Good question!
I think I noticed it when we came back from vacation and she was at our house alone.

We arrived home on Friday and thats when ai noticed the tissues I should habe had were gone.
But then again maybe I forgot using them Speechless

33055

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 11:59 am

amother wrote:

She doesn't though.
That's why I do notice when things are missing.

Thanks for all tje replies.

So you come home to empty tubes on the toilet paper holders and empty tissue boxes?

What does she do for the babies bottoms? Just not wipe them?

I think she probably uses the stuff for her job, and you are not realizing.

amother

Puce

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 12:01 pm

Squishy wrote:

No I came home to whole boxes that were missing and whole packs of wipes that were missing.

33055

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 12:20 pm

amother wrote:

No I came home to whole boxes that were missing and whole packs of wipes that were missing.

It is could be that she uses much more than you realize. I personally use about a roll a day. This is more than the others in my house use. I don't have any special issues, but I am home all day and probably use more than normal per use. I could imagine that if someone checked my bathroom and was keeping a loose observation, it would look like several rolls a week were traveling home with me.

The same is true for cleaning lady and paper towels. She goes through kitchen wipes at an astonishing rate. When you are not purchasing the stuff, you are not so careful with the use of it.

If the empty rolls are on not on the toilet paper holder, then she is changing the paper. I think she is using it faster than you realize.

Mark the inside of the tubes of toilet paper in the closet. Then check to see if it is in the holders. I think you will find she changes the toilet paper periodically in your house.

marina

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 12:25 pm

this whole thread. I just can't.

Stop. Just stop. Don't think bad things about people until you have no other choice. That way you will be a happier person.

amother

Puce

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 1:04 pm

marina wrote:

this whole thread. I just can't.

Stop. Just stop. Don't think bad things about people until you have no other choice. That way you will be a happier person.

Yes you are right.
But don't let people take advantage of you either.

The whole point of this thread is that I wanted perspective.
I have a lady who looks after my children. She is a wonderful person who I probably wouldn't manage without.
It makes me uneasy that I have noticed things have gone missing.
I'm wondering if I should let it go or take it seriously because it is a slight breech of trust and I should cut my losses.

If I wasn't looking for the good I would not have posted this here.

Sometimes the level of attacking directed towards a poster who has no where else to turn and is asking sincere advice makes it not worth it..

marina

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 1:17 pm

amother wrote:

Ok I am sorry for being unkind in my post. I will think good things about you Smile

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 4:58 pm

I think it's somewhat odd that of all things she would choose to take she's taking tissues and wipes. I mean, even bottles of hand soap and shampoo are more valuable than that...

I had a housekeeper who left us to work at another type of job (much higher paying). Shortly after she left I discovered that something very valuable was missing from my home. After a very extensive search, I simply couldn't find it. I will admit that I suspected the housekeeper, since she had been in the house alone while we were on vacation. But I'm very glad I never confronted her, because a few years later I found the valuable item. I would have felt terrible. My point is, even if sometimes it makes perfect sense to suspect someone, if you don't have evidence you probably should not pursue it in any way. I definitely learned my lesson.

MagentaYenta

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 7:08 pm

amother wrote:

No I came home to whole boxes that were missing and whole packs of wipes that were missing.

Either you are sure she took them or you aren't. Which is it?

amother

Red

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 9:06 pm

I would start taking inventory and post it where you keep these supplies. Even if the inventory is not correct. If you post it, she'll know you are keeping track.
If she asks, tell her you don't want to forget to get tissues for shabbos, like happened last time.
Again, the inventory doesn't have to be accurate it's just to let her know your keeping tabs of where things are going.
And if you run out of something tell her to let you know, or to write you a list.

A friend of mine use to do this with her liquors and wines.

zaq

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 10:13 pm

It's not at all weird that a person might take toilet paper and tissues. There's a reason why almost every business I visit has the TP in a locked cabinet--because it sprouts wings and flies away. Some people think it's not stealing because it's worth so little.

I don't understand the attacks on OP. I think if a person stocks up on supplies and notices that they're suddenly vanishing at an astonishing rate, some investigation is in order. People usually have a pretty good idea of how quickly they use up certain things.

amother

Coral

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 10:22 pm

My mother once had live-in help who would steal toiletries like shampoo, deodorant, and yes, toilet paper. She was shipping it back to her family in Colombia. It's not unheard of, and I don't get why everyone's jumping on the OP.

singleagain

Sun, Jul 09 2017, 10:22 pm

is it possible that for some reason, your cleaning lady reorganized the closet and now it's in the back on a different shelf or something?

I once helped a friend reorganize her pantry, and unknowingly put something she used frequently in the back. she asked, "where is xyz" and I showed her, she told me she used it everyday, and I helped her reorganize it again.

can you just ask in a casual way, "did you move the paper... I thought I had five packages, but now I only see two?"

SixOfWands

Mon, Jul 10 2017, 12:10 am

zaq wrote:

At the start of the thread, she indicated that she wasn't sure if anything was missing, but nevertheless wanted to know if she should fire her excellent employee because her "gut" tells her that the employee is stealing. Since then, OP has convinced herself that the employee is stealing.