Update:One month old baby only likes to sleep in our bed

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Jul 11 2017, 8:17 am

My one month old baby only likes to sleep with us in our bed.
He goes to sleep at 9 (I begin putting him to sleep at 7 ish but until he's actually sleeping it's closer to 9) in his bassinet or crib. He wakes up between 12-2, eats, and then refuses to go back in his bassinet/crib. He just cries. If I put him in bed with one of us, he's calm and goes right to sleep until 5 am.
Any advice?

amother

Blush

Tue, Jul 11 2017, 8:38 am

No advice. My 3 month old still sleeps in our bed. They say the first 3 months are the are the 4th trimester. I think they need us close to them still. I'll probably try around 4-5 months to get my baby to sleep on its own.

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Jul 11 2017, 8:51 am

bsy wrote:

They sell little bassinet-like things that go in the bed next to you. I think it's called a snuggle something.

I don't want to use that. I don't want to perpetuate this habit.

amother

Gray

Tue, Jul 11 2017, 8:55 am

Cosleeping is best! Your baby is still so helpless that s/he needs you. That's all the baby knows in this strange world.

My 15 month still sleeps in my bed by choice. She can sleep in her own crib but I find it easier to nurse her and I sleep better when we're cozy.

And FTR, what you do at 1 month old will not in any way be indicative of what you do later on. You can always train an older baby to sleep in a crib. Same with scheduling feedings and whatnot. There's always later to do it. And it's not always harder later. sometimes as a child's understanding grows, it gets easier to do it. so I know that now you have this fear that your setting him up badly and you'll be stuck with a kid who never wants to sleep outside of your bed, but it's not true. take it day by day. if now you can handle it, leave it alone.

amother

Denim

Tue, Jul 11 2017, 9:31 am

amother wrote:

May baby is one month old. You're confusing me with other posters

I believe she means, he's been sleeping in direct contact with you for the last 9-10 months already, albeit inside of you Wink

I second pp's suggestion that it can be easier with an older baby. My summer baby would only sleep with one of us through his first winter, but got restless when it warmed up again the next summer and transitioned successfully to a crib. We'd been using the crib for naps since 2-3 months so it wasn't unfamiliar.

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Jul 11 2017, 9:37 am

amother wrote:

May baby is one month old. You're confusing me with other posters

Nope. He coslept in your uterus for a long time. The first few months of a baby's life are considered "the fourth trimester." Baby continues needing physical closeness, rocking, shushing etc as he did when he was still inside you. It's a need just like eating and sleeping.

If you aren't comfortable with him in your bed from a safety perspective, I would suggest buying a cosleeper that attaches to your bed. In a few months when he starts being more comfortable without your constant presence you can start using a crib.

Kiwi Bubby

Tue, Jul 11 2017, 9:47 am

enjoy this sweet cuddly time. like another poster said your baby craves closeness now. he needs to be near you at all times. I once read that a baby doesnt know who or what he is except for when he's near his mother, then he has a sense of "knowing" where he is in space.
especially for the first 3 months this closeness is essential, and in my opinion for as long as your baby seems to crave it, you should give him the ability to be near you.

babies are smart creatures. they know exactly what they want. and almost always what they want (at this age) is what is good for them.
when your baby wants to be held, hold them.
when they want to nurse, nurse them.
let your baby be your guide.

the thing is miss most of my child rearing years is sleeping with my infants. Wink

amother

Babypink

Tue, Jul 11 2017, 10:11 am

on the one hand I agree with others and say yes your baby is still so tiny and craves being close to you, and for his security (and your peace of mind) I would say just let it be..

on the other hand, if you dont want to cosleep long term, try to think down the road, it will be very challenging to 'break' it.

so just try to think big picture (if you aren't happy with the current one)

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Jul 11 2017, 10:17 am

amother wrote:

Are you speaking from experience? In my experience (and I have a number of kids BH), child rearing is full of challenges, and most of the time it doesn't seem to matter whether a habit is changed a few months earlier or a few months later. That goes for sleep arrangements, nursing, bottles, pacifiers, toilet training, naps... Childhood is by definition constantly evolving. So yeah, changes are made all the time. Unless there is a particular reason to make this change now, don't worry about it. He resists sleeping alone now, and he will resist it later too (probably). At least later it will be only a habit, and not necessarily as much of a true need in addition to a habit, as it is now.

amother

Gray

Tue, Jul 11 2017, 10:19 am

amother wrote:

Agree!

If it doesnt bother you now dont "train" him because of the future.

Mommastuff

Tue, Jul 11 2017, 10:23 am

amother wrote:

one month old?! he's so little! I wouldn't worry about habits yet.

I coslept with one of my babies for 6 months (or more) and they were fine after - adjusted well to a crib.

You can't spoil a newborn.

If you just want him out of your bed, then read "the happiest baby on the block" for ways to do that

HeartyAppetite

Tue, Jul 11 2017, 11:08 am

I had this problem with my baby. The baby sm pls you and it's comforting to him. You could put in something that you wore in his crib like a scarf. Or you could sleep with his sheet one night, and then put it into his bed. See if it helps.