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What age do u remember from?



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amother
Olive


 

Post Sun, Jul 23 2017, 2:10 pm
I have a lot of emotional baggage. I'm 100% dealing with it and working on myself as hard as I can but I still have bad days often, I cry a lot and can't handle certain things that have to do with my children. I was wondering what age ppl remember stuff like that from - as a memory, not as an emotional issue they will have to deal with but as an actual memory.
And if we try very hard to have a happy home for the most part and are dealing with the issues and working not to have them, will my children's future happy memories cover up the older harder ones?
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crust




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 23 2017, 3:06 pm
I remember from the age of 2 or 3 and so do most of my kids.
You say you are working very hard to get passed this. I commend you for it.
If you are doing your hishtadlos;
Going for therapy,
Seeing a psychiatrist if the crying or moodiness/anxiety is persistent,
Letting yourself be helped with the housework,
Making a set time to be with each child even for a short but consistent time once a week,
Then, you can relax. Your guilt will hurt your children much more than a lack of a perfect mom. They will iyh remember a mother who tried her best to work on herself and be there for them. They will absorb the truth without you telling them about your struggle.
If anything, the constant anxiety about your performance or about who knows what they will remember will make you collapse alltogether.
Hatzlocho! Keep going.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Sun, Jul 23 2017, 3:28 pm
I remember things as young as 2 but only random minor things. Like watching 4th of July fireworks or dropping a phone on my foot or playing with a relative's dog. My dad had cancer at the time and I have zero recollection of it (he's fine now bh).
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petiteruchy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 23 2017, 5:46 pm
My earliest consecutive memories ( like an entire day rather than snippets) are from 3.5 years old, when my youngest sister was born. I have little bits and pieces that are from earlier.

I think the important thing to remember is that your children are, in a sense, laying down the wiring of their brains long before they have real memories. Think of it like the infrastructure of a house. Memories they'll keep into adulthood are like the plaster and paint and furniture, but even before that, they are building the invisible parts of the house. They might not specifically remember abuse, upheaval, stress etc, but it does affect the way the house holds up in the future. That's why even infants who are traumatized or abused can still have issues in childhood or adulthood. Not being able to remember the name or face or place of the event doesn't make it ok.

That said, only you know whether you're providing a strong base for your children to complete their house with. And mistakes can be fixed! Do your children know they can rely on you? Are you providing stability, emotional connection, safety? If you're hesitant to say yes, than it doesn't matter if they'll remember specific instances in adulthood. Don't forget, mistakes can be fixed! If you have not been stable or emotionally connected, you can repair this. But memories are somewhat besides the point.
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chocolatecake




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 23 2017, 6:25 pm
My earliest memories are from when I was 3.
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disneyland




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 23 2017, 6:46 pm
My first memory was getting my ears pierced ( at age 5).
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MrsDash




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 23 2017, 7:08 pm
From moment of conception.
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Sun, Jul 23 2017, 7:09 pm
MrsDash wrote:
From moment of conception.


Wanna share?
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purple 1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 23 2017, 7:46 pm
I have random memories and feelings that I remember from around 2 1/2. Mostly significant events like my sister being born and moving but I also have a vivid memory of my father reading a bedtime story to me at around age 3...
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Sun, Jul 23 2017, 7:52 pm
I believe it was from the age of 5. That's when my sister was born. It was also when I was preparing to enter pre-school.
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Mon, Jul 24 2017, 3:16 pm
I have specific memories starting at age 2.5, but they are random events. I have more concrete, continuous memories of what my life was like starting from around age 4-5. There were a lot of problems at home then, and I do remember. They got better a few years later, but I still do remember the difficult times. That being said, if you fix things, it can fade into the background on some level. These things still affect me today, but it's not all I think about or anything. I am also very aware of things getting better and that my parents got help and things improved, and I am very glad about that. I've gone to therapy for many years to sort through it all and become better. The memories may never go away, but that doesn't mean they have to affect them forever. It is what it is and the most important thing you can for your children is getting them therapy as early as possible. The earlier they can learn to cope and move on, the easier it will be to let these things go.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 24 2017, 3:45 pm
I actually have memories from a very early age. My earliest memory is walking across the room at 16 months, with everyone clapping (I was not an early walker, and actually talked before walking, which may explain my early memories - since I was already pretty verbal). I remember the color of the carpet, the position of the door I was walking towards, and my grandmother A"H being there.

I also remember the day of my sister's birth - just a month past my 2nd birthday. I remember very clear details of the day.

At about that time, my parents enrolled me in the local nursery for school, and I remember the physical layout of the classroom, the color scheme, and some of my favorite toys.
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gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 24 2017, 3:52 pm
My earliest memory is from age 2 but honestly by now it's a memory of a memory. Memories are unreliable and constantly rewritten.
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 24 2017, 3:55 pm
I remember at the age of two wishing I had a blue sled rather than a blue stroller.
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Mon, Jul 24 2017, 4:02 pm
To answer your original question - I remember myself waking up in the morning in my crib, & remember the exact layout of the room, which there is no picture of. I was under 2.

But as far as your emotional state - when my kids were 6,4,2 I was going through a divorce & I was an emotional wreck & screaming at them unneccessarily. I was going for therapy at the time & the therapist reassured me that as long as it was temporary & passing they would be fine. Now they are basically adults & they ARE fine b"H!

Try to be strong for them, give them love & attention & some fun time. Don't weigh yourself down with guilt.
HUGS!
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amother
Blush


 

Post Mon, Jul 24 2017, 5:45 pm
My earliest memory is of sometime before age 3, I remember a few things from before three and of course infinite memories after three. I have a robust memory :-)
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