Taking DS to the womens bathroom

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mha3484

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 10:27 am

Question for experienced mommies:

I have all boys. My oldest is 6 1/2. When we are on a family outing DH takes him to the mens room when he needs the bathroom. When it is just me and him I take him to the womens room. I feel like hes getting too old for that but I am not comfortable at all letting him to go the mens room alone. What would you do?

Ugh I wish more establishments had single stall bathrooms. I cant be the only one that finds this hard.

saw50st8

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 10:29 am

I still take my 9 year old to the womens bathroom. He's a kid and womens bathrooms are individual stalls.

cnc

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 10:30 am

If there's no family bathroom, I still take them to the women's restroom. I don't allow them to go on their own.

mha3484

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 10:31 am

Thank you! I would never let him go alone either.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 10:48 am

6 is still very young. I would stop when he says that he feels awkward and wants to go to the men's room. As long as he's comfortable by you, then you can continue.

simba

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 11:25 am

Another vote for taking him with you. I take my almost 7yr old. If tatty is there then he goes with. No way going in alone to a men's bathroom.

yOungM0mmy

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 11:47 am

I don't think I'd let my 11 year old go into the men's bathroom on his own... there is nothing for him to see in a ladies' bathroom since everything is in stalls, and no one sees him since he's in a stall, I'm not letting him go to a bathroom where I can't see what's going on or hear him. I guess I'd let him and his 9 year old brother go together, but neither one on their own.

studying_torah

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 11:50 am

I have this debate w myself all the time.
It is also difficult if it's a girl out with only her father, who is too old for men's bathroom, but a bit young to go on her own.

trixx

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 11:55 am

studying_torah wrote:

I have this debate w myself all the time.
It is also difficult if it's a girl out with only her father, who is too old for men's bathroom, but a bit young to go on her own.

I'd sooner send her out alone than to the men's room, women's room has stalls and is full of moms and kids

saw50st8

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 12:21 pm

trixx wrote:

I'd sooner send her out alone than to the men's room, women's room has stalls and is full of moms and kids

I wouldn't. I would rather my husband be there to protect her and warn her to look away from the urinals.

It's not an easy situation.

SixOfWands

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 12:36 pm

yOungM0mmy wrote:

I suppose that it would depend upon the boy, but I think that most 11 year olds are too old to bring into the ladies' room. They're approaching puberty by that time, and have usually reached an age where they do not need constant adult supervision outside the home. If he can walk to school, or his friend's house, or the park alone, he can pee alone. You can wait for him outside the door.

Out of curiosity, if you need the restroom, would you feel comfortable having an 11 year old inside the stall with you?

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 1:09 pm

I have only recently started sending my 8 yo into the men's room on his own, and that is only in specific family oriented places where I feel comfortable. Most places we go have a family room, and everyone faces the wall while each person uses the bathroom in turn.

My 5 yo dd is definitely not old enough to navigate a public bathroom alone, safety concerns aside. Often there is a line and she would not have the skills to know where and how to wait. If necessary, my dh takes her into the men's room.

dancingqueen

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 1:34 pm

I think a 6 yo boy in a Womens bathroom is fine, 9 is getting a bit old, and 11 is too old, sorry.

I can't believe some would send their much younger daughters into a public bathroom alone.

Luckily I'm seeing more and more family restrooms around at stores, malls and restaurants.

yOungM0mmy

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 1:44 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

You're absolutely right that it depends on the child, my 11 year old is short and slight and not really approaching puberty yet. He doesn't actually go anywhere by himself because we live too far from school and his friends, he just walked to school by himself from my grandmother who lives around the corner for the first time last week. If he walks to shul without an adult, he's with his brother. If it was just me and him, and I needed to use the toilet, which has happened, he comes into the ladies' toilets with me and stands right outside the door to my stall, again - nothing to see because all the women doing their business are in closed stalls.

He is going to overnight camp this year for the first time, we've had the discussion about private parts for years already, with him and all his siblings, we've had the talk about hormones and body changes...I probably do need to give him more independence, but it's definitely not starting with public toilets.

Ruchel

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 2:06 pm

I don't take them at those ages, but my country doesn't.

33055

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 3:10 pm

I am extremely uncomfortable when bigger boys use the lady's rest rooms and locker rooms. It is not nice for the patrons. Often there is space between the wall and the doors. I once yelled at a boy around 7 who was looking through as I was doing my business.

I know two BTs who told me they were having relations at 12. You can't change biology, and most people would agree that bringing big boys in to these spaces is rude.

amother

Lavender

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 6:43 am

last week at the shopping mall my older ds (5 years old) had to go to the bathroom, and I sent him to the mens room. I waited outside with the baby.

he was fine , no problem.

I mentioned it to dh in the evening and he asked me not to do this again. I never thought of it but he is right, there could be just anybody in the mens room and dc cannot defend himself chas ve chalila.

I felt so bad for letting him go on his own (eventhoug he really didnt mind).
next time ill definitely take him to the ladys room.

aslo: I dont mind if young boys use the ladys room...

Iymnok

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 6:55 am

When I went recently, taking four kids to the bathroom, I stood in the doorway of the men's room to watch the boys, 3&5, I could see straight into ds3's stall.
Why does the men's room have more stalks than the ladies room?

behappy2

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 7:39 am

I take my almost 7 year old to the ladies room. I don't see that stopping any time soon.

Maya

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 7:44 am

yOungM0mmy wrote:

Exactly all this, for me too.

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