Tell me why I shouldn't throw up now.

amother

Peach

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 7:43 pm

I did an exercise dvd for an hour. I am normally not hungry after I exercise.
Now I blew it. I ate 9 fish sticks and 9 oily tater tots. I am so mad at myself. I want to make myself throw up (easy for a "former" bulimic).
Tell me why I shouldn't.
I'm panicking thinking about that food in my body now.

amother

Beige

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 7:49 pm

amother wrote:

You exercised for an hour. Afterwards, you fueled your body with less than a whole serving of tater tots (1 serving = 1- = 160 calories) and 9 fish sticks (2 servings = 10 = 380 calories). A moderately active woman needs 2000 to 2200 calories a day. You didn't blow anything. Its your illness talking. Please, please see a doctor and get help.

amother

Linen

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 7:51 pm

Because to do so would be to give in to the yetzer hara. And it is your job, as a frum Jew, to fight the yetzer hara.

Always.

But especially now the you have asked this question and received this answer.

Focus on the HUGE ETERNAL reward you will receive for not giving in to this.

You a not an angel - you are a human. And humans need food!

amother

Red

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 7:57 pm

amother wrote:

Don't do it! Think of how lousy you will feel afterwards and how bad you will feel about yourself if you make yourself throw up.
Also it may throw you into bulimia again.
I am glad you sought our help!
Stay strong! No one is perfect except Hashem.

amother

Amber

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 8:07 pm

I struggled (still do to some extent) with Anorexia and Bulimia for years. You didn't blow it! Don't fall back into this vicious and destructive cycle. You're strong! Stay strong! You didn't eat that "badly" anyway.

Hugs

amother

Peach

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 8:14 pm

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. You are all 100% right.
But...I ate a few more of each after I posted because I figured, what the heck...then threw up. I feel horrible, disgusting, and also relived and calmer.
Don't want to be graphic, but I know that not all of it came up, for better or worse.
The dumb part is, I had leftover salmon in the fridge. If I ate that I wouldn't have thrown up.
Lesson learned- stay with healthy foods.
Thank you, I'm sorry if I disappointed you. 😔

amother

Amber

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 8:50 pm

amother wrote:

You didn't disappoint me - I completely understand the situation. It's not logical. I'm sorry you are going through this; it's so painful and makes one feel so disgusting. But don't give up! And try to work on thinking "one treat won't make me gain weight" it's so much healthier than all-or-nothing Thinking

Orchid

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 9:00 pm

Because when you throw up you're introducing harsh stomach acid up your esophagus, which could eventually tear your esophagus. And ruin your teeth.

amother

Peach

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 9:09 pm

Amber amother, I know.... are you recovered? Is there hope for a healthy relationship with food? An alcoholic always has to stay away from that "last drink" but with eds you can't just say no more... I'm not making sense.
Orchid...I know😕 my teeth are pretty bad. Hopefully my esophagus is still in tact 🙂
Tomorrow is a new day...

dancingqueen

Mon, Jul 24 2017, 9:32 pm

Have you seen a therapist to recover from your bulimia? Maybe you could check back in.

You shouldn't throw up after eating in the future because for one thing it horrible for your body and really not an effective weight loss strategy either.

amother

Peach

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 8:46 am

I went through the motions of therapy about 10 years ago. I was "cured" hurray, now let's move on.
Ya right.
Therapy now is not an option. I don't even think it will help. At this point it needs to come from me.

amother

Amber

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 2:56 pm

amother wrote:

I'm recovered as much as I think I'll ever be. This means that while I don't struggle nearly as much as I used to, I'll always have an interesting relationship with food. I think that once I started working on my self-esteem and self-worth (and completely separated the two from how thin I am!!!!!) I really started getting better.

amother

Peach

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 7:51 pm

Mame1- you clearly never had an eating disorder (baruch Hashem!!) And I'm not going to deprive my kids of their favorite supper because of my issues. I ate an apple and an egg for breakfast, and watermelon and nuts for lunch- so I have plenty of fruit.
Today my kids had whole wheat noodles and cheese. After I exercised I had one cup of it and then stopped. Was still hungry so I melted cheese on spinach instead of more noodles.
I am NOT going to throw up. Repeat. Might do a 10 minute quick exercise before bed.
Real, I don't have Netflix, is there anywhere else I can find it? Can look in my library or online.
Thanks all! Hope to report back that I followed through and did NOT throw up.

amother

Peach

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 7:53 pm

Amber another, good for you!
I have a pretty good self esteem...I use it more as a distraction from dealing with other issues. Like if I count calories or pounds then my head is too busy to deal with other things.

amother

Puce

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 7:53 pm

amother wrote:

That's very little too eat for an adult. Maybe you should see a nutritionist to develop a healthy diet and exercise program?

real

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 8:45 pm

the movie was made by Netflix. So I am not sure if you can find it on YouTube. But if you don't have netflix, I think the first month is free, and then you can always cancel it.