Camp Mommy and Judgmental People - Vent

rachel0615

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 1:30 pm

When people are so quick to judge, it says a lot about them. Kids interact with other kids the whole year. It is so beautiful they get to spend time with you and their siblings during the summer, creating memories and strengthening their relationships with each other!

On a side note, I have no issue with camp but it's not a necessity at all and if the financial burden of it is going to add stress and rock the stability in the house, it just isn't worth it. Yasher koach for doing what is best for your family!

FranticFrummie

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 1:38 pm

I've only been to one week-long summer camp in my whole life, and I survived.

Usually, we had this thing called "Summer Vacation", and my sister and I were expected to get along and entertain ourselves. Sometimes we walked together to the community pool, but that was about the extent of our activities. If we were lucky, we'd get a week or so at Grandma's.

marina

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 1:41 pm

rmbg wrote:

Maybe it's in the tone that you're answering. When people have asked me I say they're hanging out with me! With a genuine smile. I don't feel like anyone judged me. Maybe the tone you're using sounds like you feel bad they're not in camp so they respond in kind.

This. Present Camp Ima ( what I called it) in a way that shows that YOU love it because you get to spend fun days with your kids going on all kinds of trips. Then people will be like: oh, she likes spending time with her kids... oh... what's wrong with me?

sneakermom

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 2:17 pm

A couple years back I kept my kids home for a summer. It's expensive and we were saving a lot of money.

We had a really nice time. Some days were low key. Hanging around in pajamas and reading or watching a DVD. Some days we meandered from the museum to the park and then pizza. There was no rush, the day was ours. And we also did some major trips to amusement parks, big zoos, etc.

Since then my kids go to day camp or camp. But they still wish they could stay home for at least a half a summer. I don't let because it impedes on my work.

So feel proud. Know you are building memories. Ironically they might remember fondly the years they stayed home from camp more than when they went.

cnc

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 2:24 pm

I kept my kids home for four weeks a few years ago. It was the nicest experience. I haven't been able to do it since then because the logistics wouldn't work , but I look back at that summer and appreciate that I had the opportunity to do it.
I don't remember getting negative vibes from others. I distinctly remember several people telling me how nice it is and that I should enjoy every minute.

Doublestroller

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 2:26 pm

Thanks for all the ideas!! I'm keeping my kids home till the end of first half. Some days are harder and some are easier. The days we did swimming I sat in pool with them for a few hours. I stocked up On lots of crafts from amazing savings. I go back every week and always find something new. My girls love it. We bake and go out for errands. I find it much easier going out then staying home. I take it day by day. I'm enjoying the quality time with my girls. I know they'll be big and grown up in no time.

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 3:25 pm

No!! Kids do amazingly well being home with mommy and each other. I am loving getting to know my kids so much better. We are learning to do new things. My kids have learned new skills. They tell me I love you more. They grow up so fast. Cherish these moments.
My oldest is in camp and I have never kept her home and I feel like I missed out so much having kept the younger ones more than one summer.
Anyone who comments onky wishes rhey had the patience or time to do it as well.
You are an amazing mom!!

amother

Sienna

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 4:18 pm

Op, I also got surprised looks and "ohhh", but a few women said they wouldnt be able to handle their kids for the summer. So , to some of those women, I said "yes, but camp is expensive". They agreed and explained that for them(they were off in summer) sending their kids to camp was a neccesity bc they cant handle their kids home.

So. They pitied me, but ultimately I know we need the money for "extras" that arise later in year, such as dental or medical expenses or car/house repairs.....

I understand exactly how you feel op. I am also running camp mommy for my kids.

amother

Yellow

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 4:54 pm

Some of you may have noticed the "Words Unspoken" last week. The basic idea was, stop asking what I am doing this summer, and telling me I MUST get away. Whatever happened to mah tovu ohalecha Yaakov?

DH says it's the same as "what are you up to in Pesach cleaning?" It's just the seasonal topic of conversation, if you can't think of anything more intellectual to discuss (such as "what's an inspiring vort about the Three Weeks that you've recently heard?"

But I do agree that a. people should be more respectful of other people's choices and b. if you're not comfortable discussing your choices you should change the subject or get off the phone/park bench etc.

I still remember my first encounter with a mother who had a whole summer of activities planned. She had a few of her own children and married a widower with several children. She wanted all the kids to bond, so she really put her heart and soul into planning a beautiful summer for them. I was quite in awe of her. (If you're on here, honey, I miss you!)

happy12

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 7:04 pm

The best summers were the ones that I spent with my children. Sometimes the went to day camp for one half if they wanted. My oldest always went to day camp because he needed the structure. If he was interested in what we were doing he stayed home that day . That was usually twice a summer. Now with some in sleep a way camp and some working I don't feel like u get summer vacation.
Most people just told me they would never be able to do it and stay sane.

amother

Chartreuse

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 7:39 pm

Ladies - I fully support the 'mommy camp' concept .. but you are the director,head counselor, transportation director... have some 'camp pride'... name your camp!! 'Camp Ima', or 'Camp Bayit', 'Camp Kodesh'.... then you'll have an answer to the 'which camp....' question!

'mommy camp' isn't a name it's a description (Like 'sports camp' or 'art camp'.

amother

Violet

Tue, Jul 25 2017, 10:19 pm

We are doing mommy camp (and yes that's what we call it!) we are having a blast. It's not about the money. It's about spending amazing quality time together which we never have enough of! No one pities me. They may feel like they would never be able to handle it but the vibes that we are all having an amazing summer are there and ppl are always saying wow!
Come up with fun creative things to do! Today we made a big carnival for our neighborhood and brought in lots of money which we are donating to the shul! My kids had a blast (yes I worked hard!) but everyone was so happy and felt so fulfilled.

nicole81

Wed, Jul 26 2017, 12:01 am

In my experience, what I see more often than Camp Mommy, is families who have a parent home in the summer sending their kids to camp and then pleading for tuition discounts. That's a whole other topic, but good for you for living within your means and providing a great experience for your children!

salt

Wed, Jul 26 2017, 3:25 am

OOTforlife wrote:

I'll say under my screen name that I find this pedantic analysis of what is obviously just a casual expression to be obnoxious and pretentious.

My kids go to daycare and camp. But I don't see anything wrong with kids spending the summer at home, long as they have some stuff to do and are able to get outside a decent amount. You are doing fine, OP. Ignore the looks as best you can.

I agree that it's a silly phrase - Camp Mommy. I wouldn't think it's pretentious though. I was actually going to open a thread a few weeks ago asking why people call it Camp Mommy. Is it to make the kids feel that they're in real camp, or to encourage the mom's to keep going strong.
I mean, when we take our kids to bed in the evening, we don't say we're Babysitter Mommy.

Although, I must say, when I find I'm driving my kids around too much, I may call myself Taxi-driver-mommy sometimes. But as more of a joke.

rowo

Wed, Jul 26 2017, 6:41 am

you might just be feeling judged because you're sensitive abou it. But I agree with others who have said that the looks were probably more about the others thinking 'that would be so hard, I could never handle that' than people looking down on you.

It is hard work to keep your kids home all summer. You don't get time for yourself and it's exhausting. But I think it's amazing for kids.
I think the change from the scheduling and long days of school is great for them. (-and for me! Lazy mornings!) it's time for them to move slower and destress (yes, I think school is often stressful even for little kids these days).
Down time is important on so many levels. Learning to entertain and amuse themselves is an important skill, let them build their imagination.
This is besides for the beautiful family bonding and memories that are created.
To all those worried about the social aspect, I don't know what the worry is. I can't remember where I read this, but it is an idea I try to give over to my kids - friends are super important, but you never know who your friends will be later in life, you do know however, who your family will be! They will be there for life, you want them to be your friends too.

amother

Linen

Wed, Jul 26 2017, 8:18 am

I am not sending my kids this year and I am saying the truth: I find it overpriced and my kids want to relax. They didn't like it last year and I am not desperate to send them. I don't have to work and I can have them hand out with other kids who are staying at home so here is the social aspect!

I am not a nebach for not having the money, I have a better way of using it. I am spending money on taking them to outings that *I* find good.

What is the big deal?

amother

Navy

Wed, Jul 26 2017, 11:26 am

People are just judgmental in general. I get an earful all the time about not sending my 3 yo to school. DS is doing very well at home. No, he needs socialization!! Well until very recently kids didn't got to school until at least 7 and all the older people seem able to talk just fine. Besides, if I put DS in school and then had to ask for a tuition break, then they would be judgmental about that, so you can't win. Just do what you're doing and ignore them.