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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Would you think it was a little strange/make you feel uncomfortable if your son had a single Rebbie/teacher
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| Yes I would feel uncomfortable and would not be happy with this scenario |
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6% |
[ 7 ] |
| No I would not think it was strange and I would be fine with this scenario |
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83% |
[ 89 ] |
| It would depend on the age that is being taught (please elaborate in the comments below) |
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10% |
[ 11 ] |
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| Total Votes : 107 |
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amother
Chartreuse
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 Tue, Jul 25 2017, 11:02 am
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Not sure if this is the right forum but... I was having a discussion with someone and the idea of a somewhat older (let's say mid-30s and up), single, never married man going into chinuch came up. The individual I was speaking to was convinced that a boy's school would never hire such an individual. I, maybe since I only have girls, couldn't really understand why it would be so strange. Plenty of girl's schools hire single teachers so why shouldn't boy's schools. So what do you ladies with sons think. If your son's rebbie or teacher was a single, never married, man would you be fine with it or would it make you feel uncomfortable? Also, would the age that is being taught (ie. first graders vs. 8th graders, etc.) make a difference in how you viewed such a scenario?
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mha3484
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 11:04 am
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I have boys and I could care less. If they are a competent and engaging teacher why do I care about his personal life?
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16
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shabbatiscoming
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 11:06 am
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Why should their family status make any difference, in a boys school or girls school? As long as they are good teachers, why would it matter if they were married or not?????
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17
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tichellady
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 11:06 am
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Not weird to me. May be weird for me if he was teaching girls ( depends on the details)
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9
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Chayalle
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 11:08 am
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Why would that be wierd? It used to be a man could be the Rav of a town before he got married, why not a Rebbe?
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yOungM0mmy
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 11:12 am
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My son had a single, male classroom assistant in his early 20s, when my son was 5. This young man had finished yeshiva as much as he was going to, was not cut out for further learning, and was excellent with kids, probably partly from having grown up in a large family and his mother had been a first grade teacher for years. He told the parsha and stories with such excitement, had patience to help the kids who needed extra reading practice, etc. I don't think any of the parents were upset with him being there. The classroom rebbe was a much older man, and this young man gave a great balance. Obviously it depends on the man, but some people are just made to be great teachers, regardless of age, gender or marital status.
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amother
Chartreuse
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 11:23 am
| shabbatiscoming wrote: | | Why should their family status make any difference, in a boys school or girls school? As long as they are good teachers, why would it matter if they were married or not????? |
That was my attitude. If they are qualified for the job who cares if they are not married. The person I was talking to thought otherwise. They felt that while it was not necessarily a conscious thing schools wouldn't hire single, never married men due to the fear of s-xual abuse/pedophilia. I argued that a pedophile is a pedophile it makes no difference whether or not he is married. They argued that an unmarried individual is more likely to be a pedophile, which I thought was absurd (their argument being that often there is something off about an these people to begin and that's why they never married). Just wanted to get some other opinions to see if I was living in lala land or not (though I'm not one to bury my head in the sand).
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SixOfWands
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 11:25 am
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I'm trying to figure out how or why I would know the marital status of my kids' teachers.
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zaq
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 11:26 am
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Look, if a man has unorthodox physical inclinations, he's going to have them regardless of age or marital status.
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Chayalle
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 11:26 am
| amother wrote: | | That was my attitude. If they are qualified for the job who cares if they are not married. The person I was talking to thought otherwise. They felt that while it was not necessarily a conscious thing schools wouldn't hire single, never married men due to the fear of s-xual abuse/pedophilia. I argued that a pedophile is a pedophile it makes no difference whether or not he is married. They argued that an unmarried individual is more likely to be a pedophile, which I thought was absurd (their argument being that often there is something off about an these people to begin and that's why they never married). Just wanted to get some other opinions to see if I was living in lala land or not (though I'm not one to bury my head in the sand). |
So all young men would be disqualified from teaching because some creeps exist in this world?
Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.
And unfortunately, there are married creeps too.
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Ruchel
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 2:44 pm
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Huh? what? there are many.
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amother
Hotpink
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 2:50 pm
My son's school had a couple last year, both happened to get married but had been there for several years already. I never thought it was off.
I think most alleged abusers in the frum community have been married, anecdotally.
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mha3484
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 2:51 pm
| SixOfWands wrote: | | I'm trying to figure out how or why I would know the marital status of my kids' teachers. |
I am in medium sized community. Between the community phone book and the parent directory the school hands out its not hard to find out if someone is married/single.
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Fox
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 2:52 pm
| Chayalle wrote: | | And unfortunately, there are married creeps too. |
(I mean, thumbs up to Chayalle's point. Not thumbs up for married creeps.)
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cnc
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 3:24 pm
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I know several men that were secular studies teachers when they were single - don't know of any single Rebbeim though.
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amother
Azure
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 3:29 pm
| amother wrote: | | That was my attitude. If they are qualified for the job who cares if they are not married. The person I was talking to thought otherwise. They felt that while it was not necessarily a conscious thing schools wouldn't hire single, never married men due to the fear of s-xual abuse/pedophilia. I argued that a pedophile is a pedophile it makes no difference whether or not he is married. They argued that an unmarried individual is more likely to be a pedophile, which I thought was absurd (their argument being that often there is something off about an these people to begin and that's why they never married). Just wanted to get some other opinionsons to see if I was living in lala land or not (though I'm not one to bury my head in the sand). |
I know of both a married man with kids as old as 8 who is a pedophile and registered sx offender, and single guys in their late 30s who never found the right one and are otherwise normal functioning people
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amother
Lilac
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 6:02 pm
My son had a 7th grade English teacher who was a single male. He really liked him a lot. Very engaging teacher who really liked the kids. I had no problem with it at all.
If u are worried about pedophiles, which u certainly have every right to be, you should ask your school what their policies are and how they monitor the classroom.
My sons school has cameras in every class that are on all the time and no kids or teachers are allowed to be in the classrooms at recess. everybody must be in public areas. To my mind, this makes much more sense as a way to keep kids safe, then making assumptions based on someone's marital status.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 7:03 pm
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The pedophiles that were Teachers were married men so yeah.......
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gold21
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 7:15 pm
I would find it weird if my sons yeshiva hired a single Rebbe. I would not find it weird if my sons yeshiva hired a single English teacher. Nothing to do with pedophelia though.
OK yeah bla bla I'm very biased and a creep because it would be weird to me if my son would have an unmarried Rebbe. K fine. Lol.
To me there's no differentiation between an unmarried vs married woman but there is a differentiation between an unmarried vs married man. Women are just naturally more awesome I guess. Duh!
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pnina
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Tue, Jul 25 2017, 7:19 pm
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depending on background. would definetely be weird in some circles. (such as mine-chassidish)
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