Get a baby nurse or tough it out?

amother

Cyan

Thu, Jul 27 2017, 1:06 am

I have a 5 month old and a 2 year old, both are adorable but super demanding and need my constant attention. My 5 month old takes 30 minute naps during the day and doesn't sleep for more than 3 hours at a time at night. I feel like I'm losing my mind, like I'm a not a real person anymore, I'm sleep deprived and feeling very unfulfilled. I'm the type of person that needs my sleep and space and after 5 months I'm still not getting either. I am a SAHM and my husband helps when he can but works around the clock. We can BH afford help but where I live good help is extremely hard to find and I don't trust many people with the baby- I get too nervous that I'll never know if he is being mistreated since he can't let me know. My husband keeps telling me we can afford a baby nurse who is vetted through frum agencies. This sounds amazing because I feel like I'll be able to handle it all of I can just have my nights back to relax with my husband and get uninterrupted sleep but at the same time I would feel so guilty and worried having a baby nurse watch my baby at night- how do I know she's taking good care of him, does it make me a horrible mother passing him on to a total stranger... I know I'll feel so guilty having a baby nurse that I wonder if it's even worth it and maybe I should just tough this out, ignore my sadness, and ride it out until he gets older and things get more manageable with time... Would you feel guilty having a baby nurse at 5m?

pizzapie

Thu, Jul 27 2017, 1:59 am

You sound exhausted and overwhelmed. You have two babies who require a lot of your time and energy. Since you are a SAHM you don't get a break. At five months your baby should be sleeping more than 3 hours at a stretch. While a baby nurse might sound like a great short term solution you may need to address the underlying issue (baby not sleeping).
Additionally, it may not be a bad idea to send your baby out several mornings a week so that you would be able to have a break. Mothering is hard! If you can afford the help then go for it! Stop feeling guilty. You taking care of yourself is important so that you're able to take care of your children.

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Jul 27 2017, 8:59 am

I would get a nurse. Call the nurse references. Make Sure people are happy with her. You don't know what a few good nights of sleep can do for you. It can make a big difference. Maybe the nurse can try and train the baby go sleep a little longer stretches. You need a break

Stars

Thu, Jul 27 2017, 9:41 am

You sound exactly like I was till 12-15 months pp. (Except I worked full time and could not afford any help.) I almost went insane and do not recommend putting yourself into an overtired, insane state with your own hands.

Maybe you can have a nurse just some nights, and cleaning help during the day? Would that make you feel better?