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Staying clean with kids...



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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 1:27 am
The thread on men's hygiene got me thinking about my own hygiene, which leaves what to be desired & I know that, but having a hard time correcting the issue. Since I've had kids and they are young and I'm stay-at-home generally, it's just hard to make it a real priority. I know showering daily doesn't have to take long, but I'm so tired by day's end, I just don't have energy for it. Even if I don't go to bed right away, there are so many other things that need doing. I make it a point to take a shower before Shabbos every week, but that's mostly what I manage (occasionally if I feel really dirty, I may take another one some other time during the week). Also, my kids are constantly getting me dirty. When I feed them or hold them, etc, there are always things staining me and I just don't feel like changing so many times, so I end up staying with dirty clothes. Does anyone relate and how does everyone else manage to stay clean?
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 2:00 am
Right now I'm showering daily because it's summer and I'm pregnant, but I'm more than overdue to shampoo my hair properly. 3 minutes before bed is all I can manage.
The only times I've changed recently is when a potty-training child got pee on me... though once or twice I've just sprayed it with vinegar and left it, if it's only a little. Other than stinky bodily fluids, I don't usually bother changing.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 2:01 am
Shower in the morning.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 2:38 am
I know it's a huge effort while the kids are small but your body is like a beit hamikdash for your neshama. You have to treat it as such and realize that this is also important chinuch for your children. I'm not saying you have to be sterile and dress like kosher Barbie. I'm saying the basics must be fulfilled. Brushing teeth twice a day, a quick daily shower with soap, trimmed or filed nails once a week, wash hair every other day, shave legs and underarms every other day or so if you do that. In psychology, they say you will feel better about yourself whether the kids get you dirty again or not and cope with life more calmly which is good for your mental health. Also, whether it's fair or not, it is a chilul Hashem when we go out and look and smell uncared for. So it is important on many fronts.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 2:44 am
amother wrote:
I know it's a huge effort while the kids are small but your body is like a beit hamikdash for your neshama. You have to treat it as such and realize that this is also important chinuch for your children. I'm not saying you have to be sterile and dress like kosher Barbie. I'm saying the basics must be fulfilled. Brushing teeth twice a day, a quick daily shower with soap, trimmed or filed nails once a week, wash hair every other day, shave legs and underarms every other day or so if you do that. In psychology, they say you will feel better about yourself whether the kids get you dirty again or not and cope with life more calmly which is good for your mental health. Also, whether it's fair or not, it is a chilul Hashem when we go out and look and smell uncared for. So it is important on many fronts.


I cannot like this enough. I'm appalled to hear women showering once a week. Besides for not being able to sleep or live with myself I can't believe it... and ftr I'm also a sahm.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 3:09 am
shower+ haircare+nails+fresh clotes = 12 minutes in my world
just shower = 3 minutes to get refreshed.

I have zero time at the moment (kids at home, working, no help) but I really try to manage to squeeze in those 12 minutes.


yes I can relate, but if I let go I will be disgustted by myself. btw: my fresh clothes is washed not ironed and may have stains (that didnt come out) - I dont mind taht, but I want fresh clothes that smell of detergend and are nots weaty.

while im at home thats the compromise.

when I leave the house I wear casual but clean clothes.

in the summer I wouldnt survive without showering at least once a day.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 6:10 am
Op how does your dh feel having a wife who only showers once a week? How is your intimate life? Showering is a priority, not something extra like a manicure.
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zohar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 7:03 am
I think op needs practical advice. She knows personal hygiene is important. My suggestion is to make it routine. Normally, I would say, depending on your climate and level of activity, that you might not have to shower daily, rather every other day. But since you are struggling with this, I suggest you make it party of your routine. Either right when you get up, neigl vasser, brush teeth, shower, get dressed, breakfast. Or bedtime, brush teeth, way face, shower. It will be hard for about one month, but after it will be just as easy as washing your hands after using the bathroom.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 8:20 am
Showering is priority not like nails indeed. But maybe the husband does the same/doesn't care/wants intimacy anyway.

You can hop into the shower 3 minutes. He should help especially if he wants you to shower.

Once at a mishte, a friend of dh came late and without costume. Because he was feeding the kid(s?) and got so dirty he had to change and recompose a costume of sorts. It's hard to be stainless.
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amother
Black


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 9:05 am
OP could you be depressed?
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amother
Tan


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 9:33 am
I find baby-wipes very good for freshening up if one can't shower every single day.
OP: baby wipes also removes stains from clothes, like that if you aren't changing your clothes b/c your little kids dirty them repeatedly, at least your clothes aren't all stained.

But, I use baby wipes only as a bidieved, b/c I hate wearing stained sweaty clothes.

And we sweat inside our home too b/c we don't have a/c.

Also, some people don't have enough sets of clothing to change that often.
But in this hot weather it should not really be a problem to pop your clothes into the washing machine, hang them outside overnight, and presto, you have clean clothes in the morning.

I also like my family's clothes to smell clean and slightly perfumed, so I spray the clothing in the closets with clothing deoderant every other day, and use a delicious aromatic clothes softener and washing powder when laundering.
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 10:02 am
Thanks, everyone. I needed to hear all that, even the criticisms, so it will propel me to put more effort into it. I don't think I'm depressed, more like overwhelmed with everything. My husband does shower daily and is very clean - it's part of his routine. I don't think it is a factor that really affects my intimate life. In general, I don't think I smell bad, just not really fresh either. I like the idea to make it part of my routine, only time I can really fit it in is when everyone is sleeping - I think I'll try that - when everyone is finally in bed, I will take a quick shower & then start on my other tasks - probably will feel more up to doing stuff after refreshed anyway. And I'll try the baby wipes idea for all the stains.
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yOungM0mmy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 3:51 pm
I always shower daily, minimum every other day, I'm a mom to 5 under the age of 11 and pregnant again bh. I just dont get dressed until ive showered. I shower with the door open, if there's a newborn they're strapped in the car seat in the bathroom with me, slightly older child is harnessed in the highchair, older kids are colouring or playdough at the table in the next room, or watching a video.
I also own 3 jean skirts (which dont show up every speck of dirt or need to be washed daily) and approx 8 cheap plain long sleeve black t-shirts. If the tshirt gets dirty, peel it off, replace with another exactly the same so no need to think or find something matching, and move on with your day feeling clean and fresh.
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lucky14




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 3:53 pm
Doesn't your hair get really nasty feeling?

What time does your husband leave in the morning? I don't know how many kids you have or their ages but is it possible for your husband to help you out and watch them for like 10-15 minutes in the morning so you can take a super quick shower?

Or else do it in the evening. Last night I was SO tired but I REALLY needed a shower so I seriously just told myself I couldn't go to sleep until I showered. I did it last thing right before bed. And since I was so tired I did it as quick as possible so I could get to sleep.

Sometimes we just have to make ourselves do things.

as for clean clothing- I don't walk around with dirty clothing. I think it's important to look presentable. How do you feel in dirty stained clothing? Do you think you would feel better about yourself if your clothing were cleaner? I switch clothes after they get dirty. Just like I change my kid's clothing when dirty. I want us to look decent.

A wet washcloth or baby wipe to wipe off messes if you aren't able to change.

But seriously the sooner you take care of stains the easier they come out in the wash.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 4:16 pm
I know people showering daily but only doing hair once a week. I personally feel bad stained. Some don't. I know because they told me.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 4:17 pm
Is your husband home in the evening before the kids are in bed? If so, ask him to keep an eye on the kids for ten minutes so you can shower. Maybe you'll be more motivated if it also means a quick break.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 9:20 pm
amother wrote:
shower+ haircare+nails+fresh clotes = 12 minutes in my world
just shower = 3 minutes to get refreshed.

I have zero time at the moment (kids at home, working, no help) but I really try to manage to squeeze in those 12 minutes.


WOW! sincerely asking - How do you manage to do all those things in just 12 minutes? do you time yourself?

a shower in 3 mins? amazing.

all those things take me much longer, and I'm a fast worker in general.
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Wed, Aug 02 2017, 10:23 pm
OP do not feel the least bit bad. I was just like you at that stage, it's normal for some people and it won't be like that forever. Bli Ayin Hara, I generally don't sweat a lot and don't smell, so I was able to get away with it. I would be so exhausted I would fall into bed, give me as many mussar shmussen as you want about my teeth decaying, and body hygiene, but if I don't sleep now I will be in a car accident tomorrow Ch"v ( I also was working). As for clothes, I often fell asleep in what I was wearing, or I would change my skirt. If something got a stain, I would change it.
Don't be alarmed, this doesn't last forever. Also I dont know what you are like financially but in my early motherhood years we were very tight, and now I can afford a few more shirts/shells so I don't sleep in the same one every night. So this doesn't last forever.
Another issue is that I was very nervous to shower with kids home and no other adult, even if baby was sleeping, that complicated scheduling things. Now I shower at the gym so it's not an issue anymore.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2017, 3:14 am
dear tan,

obviously this is not the super relaxed and hygienic wellness treat Wink
its: stand below a stream of water, put soap everywhere, rinse, add shampoo to hair, rinse, get out of shower, spray deodorant, put hair in turban, and night gown/ homerobe on, trim nails (no shaving, lotion, spiacal haircare included)

but honestly, it feels better than nothing.

if I DO get a half hour, I totally prefer that Smile I can lie in the tub, use special soaps, add lotion, use a hair masc or a bit of make up, shave etc... but this is definitely NOT part of my quick quick daily routine, when im alone with all kids.

hope this explains it a bit.
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