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Forum
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-> Simcha Section
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amother
Mustard
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 Wed, Aug 02 2017, 11:49 pm
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I don't know how to do a poll. Only if your son in law was from out of town, and only very chasidish, did you go with your husband to the bavarfen or you stayed with your daughter and he went himself out of town? Thanks a lot!
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amother
Violet
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Wed, Aug 02 2017, 11:52 pm
| amother wrote: | | I don't know how to do a poll. Only if your son in law was from out of town, and only very chasidish, did you go with your husband to the bavarfen or you stayed with your daughter and he went himself out of town? Thanks a lot! |
Usualy the kallahs mother stays behind with the kallah. The mechutan will go with the brothers and bil. And maybe some uncles...
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amother
Honeydew
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Wed, Aug 02 2017, 11:52 pm
Father went. Mother stayed home with me.
Brother went, sil stayed home with neice.
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amother
Wine
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Wed, Aug 02 2017, 11:53 pm
My mother stayed with me and all my sisters while my father went to the bavarfen in another city/country.
My MIL also stayed with her daughters.
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Adela
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 12:01 am
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My father and brothers went to the Bavarfen in another city and I, the Kallah, with my mother and sisters stayed home.
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rdmom
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 12:28 am
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Same as all the above posters. My mom stayed home and my dad and brothers went.
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1091
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 12:40 am
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OP, can I ask what a bavarfen is? (Obviously I'm not in the position to respond to your question.)
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maidale
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 12:40 am
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What everyone said. Stay home with your daughter. I wouldn't want to stay alone at home the last shabbos before my wedding, and neither will I do that to my daughtets bl'n.
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minnie mouse
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 12:56 am
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Same as everyone else. My father and brothers went, my mother stayed with me. Same was with my dd. Husband and ds went, I stayed home with dd.
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amother
Rose
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 1:04 am
Its a common practice that the women stay home and the father and brothers and brother in laws go. Some families just the father and single brothers go.
(I am very Chasidish)
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amother
Rose
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 1:09 am
| 1091 wrote: | | OP, can I ask what a bavarfen is? (Obviously I'm not in the position to respond to your question.) |
באווארפן is the same thing as אויפרוף its just that in the Hungarian /Galician community its called Bavarfen. It comes from the word varf which means to throw (as in throwing the pekelach at the chasan)
Its aliyah Ltorah the shabbos before the wedding.
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amother
Rose
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 1:10 am
| amother wrote: | | Usualy the kallahs mother stays behind with the kallah. The mechutan will go with the brothers and bil. And maybe some uncles... |
BIL and uncles only happens if the other side is willing to find accommodations.
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amother
Blush
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 2:45 am
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My father never went either. He said the kalla's last shabbos in her parents home as a girl she should have her father there too. That was his feeling of a proper "send off" . My father is a true chassidish "chniyok" (if it makes a diff to your results)
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amother
Powderblue
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 6:34 am
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You're obviously in the US. In the UK it's unheard of for the father to be away from the family the Shabbos before the girl gets married. If a bavarfen is local, the mechuten and other male members go, otherwise not.
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PinkFridge
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 9:18 am
Mazel tov!
I'm not chassidish but do have sons-in-law from other cities. It wasn't practical for my husband to go because of work commitments. I see both sides. I remember once a good friend's husband came in for his future SIL's aufruf Shabbos and because we were so close to all involved we came for dessert on Shabbos and I could see how much the kallah's father was enjoying this Shabbos and getting to know the family. And it was mutual. It can be a lovely thing for shalom.
OTOH, I'm glad my husband couldn't go. It was nice to have him home for that last Shabbos.
I don't know what you'll decide. I hope your machutanim are the type of people who don't stand on ceremony but, if your men are there, will enjoy the opportunity to get to know you all better and that it be mutual.
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Blessing1
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 11:12 am
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My dad went with all men In the family, women stayed home with the kallah. I think this is what most people do.
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amother
Fuchsia
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 12:49 pm
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father and brothers (& bils) went mom and sisters stayed
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amother
Cerulean
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 2:10 pm
Do whatever is best for your family. Now is the time to show that you are an individual, not a cookie cutter mold.
Mazel tov!
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amother
Mustard
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 9:32 pm
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Hi. I'm OP wow so many nice caring people answering and I was MIA. Sorry its full time work and mom of bride! !! Let me start reading the 17 answers
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Maya
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Thu, Aug 03 2017, 11:02 pm
| amother wrote: | | My father never went either. He said the kalla's last shabbos in her parents home as a girl she should have her father there too. That was his feeling of a proper "send off" . My father is a true chassidish "chniyok" (if it makes a diff to your results) |
I think this is the right thing to do.
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