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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
odchai
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 Tue, Aug 15 2017, 5:30 pm
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In our family when a niece or nephew gets married the aunts and uncles usually join together to give a sheva brochos which is in lieu of a gift. Recently a niece got married and there were no sheva brochos left for us to make so DH and I decided to ask the couple what they needed/wanted and we would get that for them - within reason. After not hearing from them for a while DH and I decided we want to get the couple something they would have for a long time like a silver item, maybe a real silver washing cup (or silver tray or silver havdallah set). Today the niece told me they would like a coffee machine. Should we change our plans for the silver item and just get them what they are asking for? How long will a coffee machine be around?
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Iymnok
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Tue, Aug 15 2017, 5:42 pm
Get them the coffee machine.
I feel it's best to get someone something they want and will feel love with the gift. Special mugs may personalize it and become keepsakes.
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Raw
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Tue, Aug 15 2017, 6:00 pm
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You asked, they told you. Not everyone cares for silver items. I value good coffee much more than silver.
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groovy1224
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Tue, Aug 15 2017, 6:00 pm
Well it seems silly to me to ask them what they want and then get them something different..
They may have taken a while to get back to you because it's kind of awkward to be asked to name your gift.
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amother
Teal
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Tue, Aug 15 2017, 6:05 pm
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We got a coffee machine for a wedding gift and still have it and use it over 5 years later.
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allthingsblue
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Tue, Aug 15 2017, 6:06 pm
Get them the coffee machine. You can buy a keirog for about $100 (or less with a coupon for bed bath and beyond ).
Maybe they waited to see what they'd need...
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SixOfWands
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Tue, Aug 15 2017, 7:15 pm
| odchai wrote: | | In our family when a niece or nephew gets married the aunts and uncles usually join together to give a sheva brochos which is in lieu of a gift. Recently a niece got married and there were no sheva brochos left for us to make so DH and I decided to ask the couple what they needed/wanted and we would get that for them - within reason. After not hearing from them for a while DH and I decided we want to get the couple something they would have for a long time like a silver item, maybe a real silver washing cup (or silver tray or silver havdallah set). Today the niece told me they would like a coffee machine. Should we change our plans for the silver item and just get them what they are asking for? How long will a coffee machine be around? |
A lot of people don't like silver. It tarnishes. My mother (a"h) had boxes of silver she stored in the garage. My sterling silverware is in a box, in a broken cabinet; I'll retrieve it when DD1 gets married. Maybe.
But more than that, a lot of young couples want useful things, not decorative ones. What's the use of having a beautiful silver washing cup if you can't make yourself a cup of coffee in the morning? Someday, hopefully, they can buy the pretty stuff. In the meantime, they want to live day to day.
Buy them the coffee maker. If you feel the need to spend more, or to get them something that they will use in the long run, get them a challah knife, or challah cover, or basket for bread, or something like that, in addition to the coffee maker. And they'll be thanking you just about every morning.
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odchai
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Wed, Aug 16 2017, 5:07 am
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yes, now that I see all the responses it seem pretty obvious what's the right thing to do. I love that idea of the personalized mugs. Definitely going to do that!!
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