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Forum -> Fashion and Beauty -> Sheitels & Tichels
Love covering my hair but hate wearing skirts



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keks




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 21 2017, 9:01 am
Hi all

I just need to vent and/or ask for some guidance.

I have been covering my hair for two years now and I really enjoy it. The mitzvah is meaningful to me. However I struggle every single day with wearing skirts. As a Baal teshuvah all I want to do is wear pants and jeans which make me feel so much more "myself". I totally understand the halachot but I just struggle so much with it. Any inspiration?
Any advice?
[b]
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champion




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 21 2017, 9:09 am
No inspiration.
But maybe it will be comforting to know that you are in good company... Just the other way around.
I was raised FFB, so no real struggle with wearing skirt involved, But BOY do I struggle with covering my hair. I don't feel like myself whenever I go out into the world.
Its been a long journey for me, But I can tell you that buttom line I came to a conclusion a long time ago that god doesn't have to make all his commandments comfy for me. (same goes with TH, which for me is a huge deal)
It kind of makes it easier in a funny way when I can be at peace with how hard a mitzva is for me...
I hope I make sense somehow...
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iammom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 21 2017, 10:21 am
champion wrote:
No inspiration.
But maybe it will be comforting to know that you are in good company... Just the other way around.
I was raised FFB, so no real struggle with wearing skirt involved, But BOY do I struggle with covering my hair. I don't feel like myself whenever I go out into the world.
Its been a long journey for me, But I can tell you that buttom line I came to a conclusion a long time ago that god doesn't have to make all his commandments comfy for me. (same goes with TH, which for me is a huge deal)
It kind of makes it easier in a funny way when I can be at peace with how hard a mitzva is for me...
I hope I make sense somehow...


I feel the same. FFB and while I do wish from time to time that I can wear pants and shorts and sleeveless tops, it's not a struggle.
For me it's the covering hair. It's the uncomfortableness, the heat, wishing I can feel the sun on my hair and the wind blowing through it.
It's hard for me but I tell myself being frum isn't easy. We make sacrifices for HaShem and we will be rewarded for it.
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nw11




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 21 2017, 1:36 pm
Lefum tzaara agra! Hashem will surely reward you according to your struggle. Hopefully with time it will become less difficult too. The things that are difficult for you, but you do them anyway, will usually be a given for your children (minus the struggle). You're imparting spiritual DNA to your future generations.
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little_mage




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 21 2017, 3:32 pm
I don't know if this is what you're looking for exactly, but I do know some women who cover their hair and wear pants. When DH and I got engaged (I'm a BT too), I was still wearing pants. We talked about how he was okay if I didn't feel ready to make the jump to skirts (I have since), but me not being willing to cover my hair once we were married would have been a deal breaker. So there was a point where it looked like I might have covered my hair while wearing pants.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 21 2017, 4:06 pm
OP, do you live in a community where some frum women wear pants? Could you cover and wear pants? Here in Israel there are many many women who do just that.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 21 2017, 4:35 pm
keks wrote:
Hi all

I just need to vent and/or ask for some guidance.

I have been covering my hair for two years now and I really enjoy it. The mitzvah is meaningful to me. However I struggle every single day with wearing skirts. As a Baal teshuvah all I want to do is wear pants and jeans which make me feel so much more "myself". I totally understand the halachot but I just struggle so much with it. Any inspiration?
Any advice?
[b]


What is it about skirts that bother you?

Do you feel restricted in movement? Do you feel uncomfortable in pantyhose? Do your thighs run together? Is it the more formal look you don't like? In other words, is there a particular aspect that is troublesome that we could brainstorm?

Could you feel yourself if the skirts were a version of pants. For instance, I have a skirt that is a version of sweatpants. The resulting outfit looks like dorm hangout wear. I have another skirt that is divided underneath so that I am comfortable doing outdoor sports.
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