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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Is medicating for ADD taking the easy way out?
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e1234




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 24 2017, 2:15 pm
[quote]
I was lethargic, medication took away my sense of self and personality.[code]

you were on the wrong medicine
noone should leave a child on medicine that makes them lethargic or takes away the personality

if they are - it's the wrong medicine and b'h there are other medicines that could work.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Thu, Aug 24 2017, 2:51 pm
amother wrote:
I was lethargic, medication took away my sense of self and personality. I didn't feel like doing anything or going anywhere. I was not excited or passionate about anything at all. I am a fiery redhead with load of passion and personality- this ripped this part away from myself. I felt like I was in someone else's body.

Phsyical, it caused me to pick at my skin, (this is a real thing, me and my brother were on the same meds at the same time and it both happened to us) and it caused bleeding, embarresment etc. The urges lasted for months after we stopped.


Obviously if this was your experience, then it happens, and I'm sorry you dealt with all that.

In my somewhat anecdotal experience though (I'm an educator who deals with approximately 20+ children on ADD meds each year), I can tell you that being lethargic is not a typical reaction to taking meds.

I guess the main takeaway from your post is following up with the prescribing doctor. I can't imagine a situation where the child wouldn't go back to the doctor after being prescribed the medicine (typically monthly in the beginning) and be asked about side effects etc.
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Thu, Aug 24 2017, 3:45 pm
I went back on a monthly basis for a good 7 years. Was on all different types of meds. No one cared about how I felt becuase it was conveient for my parents and the DR. got paid. My siblings go through this still now, I feel terrible for them.

No one ever cared how I felt or what I thought. I was branded as someone who has multiple things, depression, adhd, anxiety, odd, ocd, bpd, asd, pdd, AS, and many more. It was easier for my parents to give me and my siblings medication, to blame all behaivor on the way we were born, telling us becuase we were screwed up that's why we were socially off, and any other symptom of the above diagnoses (which the vast majority are not true). It was easier than actually realizing they screwed up their own kids, and they actually have to parent them, listen to them, and its hard work. Kind of like the marriage they sucked at too, probably for the same reasons- avoiding real work.

Wow this was a bit of a tirade. I really had to get that out though. I've been feeling so awful lately Sad

Anyway, besides me and my siblings, I know of other 10-20 people who have bad expiriences with meds, I was one of the better cases. I know a girl whoose mother wanted to force her to take a dangerous medicine that is usually only given to adults that are phsycotic. Same backstory as mine, but she was 16, and her DR was a bit better and told her she could not force her daughter to take such meds.

I know people can use them as a good tool...I just have never met anyone who has IRL, just be careful. It's only the easy way out if you make it to be. You can have the easy way out with or without meds- its all in how you treat your kids.
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amother
Linen


 

Post Thu, Aug 24 2017, 9:24 pm
My Mom worked so hard in trying to get me organized (using that term since I'm blanking on what to use). She got me organization coaches, learning coaches, studying coaches, tutors, etc. I didn't start doing well in school until I started taking medication. With the medication I was able to apply what I'd learned. My 11th and 12th grade report cards and the cleanliness of my bedroom would show you what a difference the medication made. I wish I'd started taking it earlier (I was resistant even though I got a prescription starting in 9th grade).

I still take the medicine. There's such a difference when I don't.

You can try doing without medication and see if the other stuff is enough and add it in if you see it isn't.
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amother
Linen


 

Post Thu, Aug 24 2017, 9:26 pm
fish wrote:
Her dx is predominately Inattentive, she isnt hyper or impulsive. We have tried charts and rewards in the past and they never seem to work.....
I just feel like if we medicate right away we are being bad parents because we have no more patience to keep trying diff things so the meds are an easy way to go.


(I posted above about my experience). I also had the inattentive type, not the hyper type.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 24 2017, 9:30 pm
amother wrote:
Obviously if this was your experience, then it happens, and I'm sorry you dealt with all that.

In my somewhat anecdotal experience though (I'm an educator who deals with approximately 20+ children on ADD meds each year), I can tell you that being lethargic is not a typical reaction to taking meds.

I guess the main takeaway from your post is following up with the prescribing doctor. I can't imagine a situation where the child wouldn't go back to the doctor after being prescribed the medicine (typically monthly in the beginning) and be asked about side effects etc.


Being lethargic is actually quite a common side effect. I've heard of it and seen it in children IRL. The dosage needs to be lowered or the medication needs to be changed to something else.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 24 2017, 9:32 pm
amother wrote:
I went back on a monthly basis for a good 7 years. Was on all different types of meds. No one cared about how I felt becuase it was conveient for my parents and the DR. got paid. My siblings go through this still now, I feel terrible for them.

No one ever cared how I felt or what I thought. I was branded as someone who has multiple things, depression, adhd, anxiety, odd, ocd, bpd, asd, pdd, AS, and many more. It was easier for my parents to give me and my siblings medication, to blame all behaivor on the way we were born, telling us becuase we were screwed up that's why we were socially off, and any other symptom of the above diagnoses (which the vast majority are not true). It was easier than actually realizing they screwed up their own kids, and they actually have to parent them, listen to them, and its hard work. Kind of like the marriage they sucked at too, probably for the same reasons- avoiding real work.

Wow this was a bit of a tirade. I really had to get that out though. I've been feeling so awful lately Sad

Anyway, besides me and my siblings, I know of other 10-20 people who have bad expiriences with meds, I was one of the better cases. I know a girl whoose mother wanted to force her to take a dangerous medicine that is usually only given to adults that are phsycotic. Same backstory as mine, but she was 16, and her DR was a bit better and told her she could not force her daughter to take such meds.

I know people can use them as a good tool...I just have never met anyone who has IRL, just be careful. It's only the easy way out if you make it to be. You can have the easy way out with or without meds- its all in how you treat your kids.


That's awful. What kind of doctor just dispenses prescriptions without conducting evaluations or looking at prior evaluations?
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Sparkle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 24 2017, 9:43 pm
I started a small coaching business called Kids Beyond Meds, and I am currently in school with a goal of opening up my own practice helping kids with behavioral/learning issues via strategies other than meds when I graduate.
That being said, using medication to help your child is not the easy way out at all. But I'll tell you what is the easy way out: doing nothing. Now THAT'S the easy way out. And unfortunately there are many parents choosing to do just that.
Whatever you do as a parent to help your child in a responsible and empathetic way makes you an awesome parent IMO!
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Sat, Aug 26 2017, 4:44 pm
I have ADHD. For years (in elementary school, when I was diagnosed) I refused meds, despite the urgings of my parents, teachers, and therapists, because I thought medication was the easy way out and wanted to learn to deal with my problems without taking the easy way out. At some point, after about 4-5 years of this, I was just not coping at all in life in general and finally out of total desperation took the medication. It changed my life. I finally didn't have to suffer through everything anymore.

So you know what? I take the opposite stance. Taking medication is the easy way out. But why on earth would you rather make life so difficult your child? After being on medication for a short while, I was really kicking myself because I had just made my life so incredibly difficult for so many years because I thought that was the high road. There is value in making things easier for someone. A lot of value. And once I was on medication, everything became easier. School. Home. Life. I basically just tortured myself for 5 years just for the sake of not taking the easy way out. Did I learn valuable skill during that time? Sure. But I could have learned them with medication too, and sooner. So I didn't actually gain much, did I. . .

Try to see medication as just another tool, just like the behavioral approaches. You wouldn't think you were a failure as a parent because you took your child for behavioral therapy? Or that you were a failure as a parent because you had the teacher/school make small adjustments to help your child? Or that you were a failure as a parent because you implemented special systems at home to help him function better? Medication is the same type of tool, it helps him function better. It's in a different form, but it is no less of a parenting failure than other tools he is getting to help him cope.

The most important thing is not to just medicate and do nothing else - using several methods together is the best way to help ADD. Importantly, taking medication is often what enables people to learn all those coping skills - and quicker and with less effort than without medication. Although you could say working hard for it (I.e. without meds) is worth it, I say that being able to gain those skills as soon as possible and have them earlier (I.e. with meds) is more worth it.

Good luck!
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Sat, Aug 26 2017, 6:03 pm
cnc wrote:
That's awful. What kind of doctor just dispenses prescriptions without conducting evaluations or looking at prior evaluations?


They did look at prior evluations, but thry got paid well to lie, mym parents would not come back if they did not listen to them or disagreed. I had small issues that were blown and twisted around. The human mind is amazing, if you tell it x is a fact, it will suddenly find all these proofs that it didn't see before. For example if you find out y just got divorced, suddenly you'll be like "Oh, you can tell from the way she walks, what she said to me, etc" but you didn't think about that BEFORE you heard she got divorced...
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