Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Working Women
Buy a house or take time off for 3rd baby?



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

westchestermom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 5:54 pm
I feel that I'm at a crossroads. I'm the only one working outside the home. We are in considerable debt (about $30,000 including car, credit cards), but I began working as an RN a little over a year ago and would hopefully be able to pay off all of it within 2 years from now. However, I would like to try for baby #3 before I turn 35 (I have PCOS and half a thyroid left) AND I also desperately want to buy a house, which would be cheaper than rent which goes up every time we renew our lease. My credit is excellent but I don't have much savings, except about $10,000 in a retirement account which would be $7,000 after taxes. If I didn't have debt, I could save over $1,500 a month after bills. I'm thinking of trying for a FHA low income loan. I'm afraid to buy a house and then take time off to have a baby - I won't be able to save enough ahead of time. I'm afraid to have the baby and then try to save - the extra expenses and time without income will make a dent.

I'm looking for fresh perspectives. This will likely be our last baby - my husband is the primary caregiver and I don't know if he can wrangle 4 of them! My current girls are 6 and almost 3. I want to have it all, but I'm trying to be practical.
Back to top

Shoshana37




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 6:29 pm
we had same dilemma 9 years ago. We went for baby #3 and then for #4. It took us little bit longer to buy the house but BH now we have our kids and house. My grandma always told me each kid brings a blessing.
I never knew how much house needed fixing there is always something breaks and that cost money. Also you get to have lots of guests constantly so I'm glad kids were first because I wouldn't handle babies and everything else.
Good luck!
Back to top

pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 6:31 pm
Honestly, having 10k in savings probably isn't enough to buy a house. Nor is it enough to take off (unpaid) time from work

I say try for another baby but go back to work as soon as your paid leave ends. I don't think you have enough in savings to support much of an extended leave
Back to top

causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 6:34 pm
In the situation you mention I would say have the baby.
Back to top

westchestermom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 6:45 pm
Thanks everyone! I want to start trying for baby next year and I guess be as frugal as possible and work overtime as much as I can before then. I should be down at least a third of the debt by then.
Back to top

pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 6:47 pm
westchestermom wrote:
Thanks everyone! I want to start trying for baby next year and I guess be as frugal as possible and work overtime as much as I can before then. I should be down at least a third of the debt by then.


I'm sorry if I'm overstepping but imagine (at least) your older child will be in school during the day. Is your husband able to work at all
To help pay off the debt and add to your savings?
Back to top

westchestermom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 7:41 pm
pesek zman, it's ok it's not overstepping. I had hoped that would work out, but I am currently working overnight and he does all the pickups and dropoffs while I sleep during the day. My 2 year old receives speech therapy 4 times a week, PT twice a week plus a toddler developmental group 5 days a week all covered by early intervention, thankfully. I can't imagine what a babysitter would charge to manage all that plus the 6 year old's pickup and dropoff. Some of the therapy is done at our home, and my husband is squeezing in meals, laundry and dishes between her appointments. In a year or two I will have enough seniority to move to the day shift and then he's free to work from 3 PM to whenever. I wake up after both kids are home in time to throw together dinner, give the 3 of them the attention they're desperate for, be there for homework and family time 4 PM to 8:15, when I leave for work.

My best friend says we should wait. Since I'm not home at night, when I would go back to work he'd be responsible for waking with the baby as well! And my 2 year old isn't potty trained. In one year she'll be in school full day so if we haven't had another one we might have more room for him to find something part time.
Back to top

pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 7:45 pm
Based on that, waiting seems sensible. Sounds like you both have a lot on your plates. Best of luck with your next steps
Back to top

familyfirst




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 7:50 pm
Have yiur baby while your still young. Homeownership can be more stressful than you think and you may not have enough energy left for another child.

Have your baby. You'll see, the house will happen. Maybe in a year, or two, or ten but somehow it'll all fall into place.

May Hashem give yiu the strength and wisdom to do what's right for your family, and lots and lots of brochos
Back to top

Shoshana37




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 8:04 pm
Amen
Back to top

devorah1231




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 8:12 pm
Don't buy a house now if you want to have another kid soon! Houses just DRAIN money - not to mention buying costs a lot more than you think. Closing fees, painting, maintenance, furniture - eve without the expense, such headaches. If you want to have another kid and you can fit where you are, and you and your husband can handle it, go for it. Remember it takes 9 months and if you have PCOS could take a while to happen. If you think it could happen right away, maybe wait until you would be due the next October, so your kids would be settled in school. Wait until you are financially stable to buy a house. It causes enough headaches without extra worries. At least a baby will love you back!
Back to top

cip




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 8:26 pm
Having another child is a blessing that can pass. A home can wait few years especially since you are hoping to move out of debt and be in a better place financially.
Good luck and may you be blessed with a happy, healthy family and financial success.
Back to top

cozyblanket




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 28 2017, 8:40 pm
I agree that you have a lot on your plate. But, if you feel you and your DH have a strong enough relationship and you both want a third child, you should try for that. You can buy a house at any age. But increased age makes it much harder to have a baby, especially in your situation.

Anyway, you shouldn't try for a house til the debt is gone and you have an emergency fund in place. I know that will take a lot of patience and work to get there, especially if you have a baby on the way. But you have to do this in order. Don't push off the baby, work towards being debt free and then tackle the house later.

I agree you should go back to work within 3 months (max) of having the baby. Your DH can nap during the window of time that kids are out during the day (of course, I don't know your DH and your best friend does...). Before and after that point, can DH get an hourly work from home job that he can do? I know he has drop offs and pickups, but he can get in a few hours of work each day and earn something to help with the bills or debt payments. What skills does he have?

I hope everything goes smoothly for you!!
Back to top

westchestermom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2017, 5:19 am
He is great with technology, can maybe do customer support type jobs, grammar and spelling are not 100 percent. If he was a woman he could easily babysit but most people don't trust a man for that. On a regular day he has about 3 and a half hours kid free. Right now he tackles one big chore during that time, like going to the laundromat, car maintenance, errands and shopping.
Back to top

rachel0615




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2017, 5:34 am
I just want to say- your husband sounds very special that he's willing to give up working to stay home with the kids and keep things th ning smoothly. I have nothing to add about this question- you should just be blessed with clarity and shalom bayis always!
Back to top

amother
Brunette


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2017, 8:02 am
rachel0615 wrote:
I just want to say- your husband sounds very special that he's willing to give up working to stay home with the kids and keep things th ning smoothly. I have nothing to add about this question- you should just be blessed with clarity and shalom bayis always!


And op you sound like a hero working the night shift to support your family!
Back to top

westchestermom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2017, 8:36 am
Thank you all for your support! You are so kind. To be honest, he tried getting a degree but it didn't go so well. Entry level jobs he would qualify for pay much less than what I can earn so it just makes sense for me to work instead.
Back to top

cozyblanket




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2017, 9:35 am
westchestermom wrote:
He is great with technology, can maybe do customer support type jobs, grammar and spelling are not 100 percent. If he was a woman he could easily babysit but most people don't trust a man for that. On a regular day he has about 3 and a half hours kid free. Right now he tackles one big chore during that time, like going to the laundromat, car maintenance, errands and shopping.


If your husband can study for and take the comptia A+ exam, which covers computer basics that a customer support technician needs to know, he would be qualified for that kind of job. I do not know where he can work for 3 hrs a day at home doing that, but it just sound like something findable. Maybe he can look into options for that now, before he takes the test. But it is very possible to get this type of position with only A+ and no degree. My DH did just that. He can work in an entry level job (hopefully at home, but like I said, I cannot tell you personally if those jobs are out there...) and gain experience and by the time the kids are all in school (beH that will take a while!!), he can move up in the field by taking more exams etc and getting a more traditional, FT computer job.

I think you both sound great, like other posters said.

Everything about your question requires using a long term lense. You both sound very hardworking and sensible. You can do it.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Working Women

Related Topics Replies Last Post
How to avoid vaccinating my baby until school
by amother
168 Today at 9:16 am View last post
Budget for 500k house
by amother
34 Today at 8:57 am View last post
Chin to chest in baby tub
by amother
1 Today at 7:59 am View last post
Looking to buy a cheap wig in rbs
by amother
14 Today at 7:58 am View last post
Clothes Shopping List for Baby Boy
by Sushi22
3 Yesterday at 10:56 pm View last post