Bring girls to dance at a wedding/Lakewood

emerald

Sun, Sep 03 2017, 1:11 am

I'm looking for a number of someone who is in charge of high school girls in Lakewood who volunteer to dance at weddings where there won't be many people. I've seen this before and I had the number but I lost it. A kallah who is a baalas teshuvah is getting married tomorrow and we aren't sure how many people might be there who will be able to dance with her and make it really fun for her. Someone asked me to try to get in touch with someone who organizes girls to come dance at weddings like this. Thanks!

DrMom

Sun, Sep 03 2017, 1:33 am

Just wondering:

Do you know that the kallah wants a bunch of strange high-schoolers at her wedding?

I am a BT and would have been really annoyed if someone did this to me at my wedding.

Notsobusy

Sun, Sep 03 2017, 8:34 am

I agree with Dr Mom, I was at a small wedding where someone called girls to come dance because they felt bad it was so small, and the kallah was not happy about it. A small wedding is not a terrible thing and dancing with strangers won't necessarily enhance the simcha for the kallah. Please ask her what she wants before you do anything.

33055

Sun, Sep 03 2017, 9:19 am

Perhaps you can ask friends of friends and wives and mothers of DH's friends to come.

I have a small family and got married far away from them. There were a bunch of strangers on the ladies side. I assumed they were friends of DH. They were friends and relatives of the few people I did know.

I am glad I got married with support from the community. Years later, I befriended some of the ladies at my chassunah and was surprised to find out they were there. I didn't remember them, but sure enough they were in the pictures.

Perhaps if the kallah is very young and this is done in your circles, this might not be such a bad way to show support.

SixOfWands

Sun, Sep 03 2017, 11:21 am

emerald wrote:

Why would you assume that the family and friends of a BT would not be at her wedding? Do you really assume that her mother and sisters and friends won't "be able" to dance because they're not frum?

Please please please please please ASK BEFORE DOING THIS. It is very unlikely to be welcome.

oliveoil

Sun, Sep 03 2017, 11:28 am

Just another voice to say DO NOT DO THIS WITHOUT ASKING AND MAKING SURE SHE WANTS IT!

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with a small wedding. For many people, a small wedding with loved us is better than a big wedding with strangers. And loud, whooping high school girls? Kill me first!

watergirl

Sun, Sep 03 2017, 11:43 am

Another voice saying to ask first. My sister used to go to a lot of weddings to dance. She always told me how she livened it up so much (she has a bit of an ego!). One friend was telling me how a bunch of local girls came to her wedding, and that this one particular girl is known to come to tons of weddings and take over and its obnoxious - I asked a few questions about this girl and realized its my sister! Her wedding video proved it.

On the other hand, I was asked by a kallah to come and bring friends to her wedding, because it was not in her home town and she is a BT and her family isnt supportive and she herself wanted to bulk up the crowd. We all pretended like we were her close friends, at her request. I knew her peripherally. She told me later that she was so grateful and her mother and aunts even got into the dancing because of our crowd and enthusiasm. So these situations are really sensitive and you just have to be careful.

emerald

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 8:28 pm

Thanks everyone. I understand the need to be sensitive. I have had weddings like this where I knew the kallah would hate it and therefore did not do this. I am sorry if anyone was offended by this post. Being that I knew the kallah, I knew this was something she'd want and enjoy. No, I was not saying that her family couldn't dance if they weren't frum, but again because I know the kallah and her family and her friends and who was coming, I knew that they would in total constitute maybe 9 people. And I knew the chosson's side would be huge. And I knew this kallah would sincerely enjoy having many people to dance with. Not sure why we are saying that high school girls have to be loud and annoying. In the end, we were able to find many nice community women and girls to come join and it was a really beautiful simcha.