DH and I in chinuch - late pay checks are ruining us Vent

WhatFor

Sun, Sep 03 2017, 10:59 pm

OP- You are enabling this system.

You worked for free for them for six months last year and now you're coming back to work for them again.

You may have very good intentions but at the end of the day, you are an enabler. They have zero incentive to pay an employee when the employee has demonstrated that they will work for them for free.

You're frustrated that your coworkers won't speak out with you but unfortunately there's nothing anyone here can do to help you with that. You are preaching to the choir here. Most ppl think it's nuts to work for free unless you don't need the money and are volunteering.

If you want to continue to volunteer for this organization, go ahead. But since you already know that they cannot afford to pay you are you're choosing to volunteer, don't complain when they won't pay.

I understand that you're worried about who will be mechanech these kids. It will either be someone else who can afford to volunteer, or someone who demands and receives payment. You're not obligated to sacrifice your family for everyone else's children's education.

amother

Ecru

Sun, Sep 03 2017, 11:52 pm

watergirl wrote:

No reason she has to move out of Brooklyn. She can stay put and simply look for a job out of brooklyn. Queens isnt that far. Neither is Staten Island or even parts of Manhatten or even LI. If she has a degree in elementary education as well as the state certification, the only thing that's limiting her pay is herself. Not the schools.

I live in brooklyn and dh and I both work in the yeshivish school system and have never been late. Neither of us would take a job in a school known to pay late. I believe this paying late business is a much bigger issue in the chassidish schools than the yeshivish ones.

amother

Azure

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 1:03 am

I live in Los Angeles... If 92% or 93% of a city's families were visiting my area (and if you need kosher food you will at least stop in to my city) don't you think I would notice hundreds of NYers in our stores, streets, tourist sites...?
Yes we are a big city but if you have been to LA you would know that if you want restaurants and shopping you go to the main areas. Like Pico. And I would surely have seen winter break and over this past summer hundreds of teenage girls swarming our streets in their "distinctive" style and way of acting that makes you immediately know they are NYers.
I have a hard time believing this happened...

amother

Bronze

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 6:58 am

imasoftov wrote:

This OP smells like geiva because of the strong resistance to anything else other than teaching. It seems that she and her DH are doing it for prestige purposes. With the ability and strong desire to teach there are sooooo many ways to do it, but the only thing they want is to stand in front of the classroom of that particular moised that doesn't pay. Basically, sticking their heads into sand. Some posters responded with alternative suggestions, but nothing doing. All they "need" is this job, in this moised, and the "other" people should change. I'm not saying the others shouldn't change what they're doing, but they won't. So the only option available is to change oneself. And she won't either. Why the stubbornness? She CANNOT change other people regardless of how much she wants to.

33055

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 6:59 am

amother wrote:

It was ONE particular school that had that high percentage of girls going to FLORIDA a DIFFERENT year than this one. Did you even read what I wrote?

I understand why you are amother.

This year the girls went to California - not necessarily LA. LA has 18 million people, your premise that if you didn't see them, it didn't happen is an irritating logical fallacy.

There was another one on this thread, Navy, that said that if she didn't know about it, it didn't happen, so you have company.

watergirl

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 7:38 am

amother wrote:

Not my point. If she has a degree and teachers certificate, she is not limited like she indicated. Nothing is forcing her to stay in that school.

amother

Linen

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 7:51 am

Op I definitely believe your predicament. However, dh and I are both in chinuch and never had this problem. We've been around for scheduling purposes etc There are some yeshivos well known for paying late, or severely downsizing and we stay far away from them. Perhaps you should be doing more research before taking a position. Maybe u would speak to a rav about taking them to din torah...best of luck

amother

Bronze

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 7:57 am

watergirl wrote:

Not my point. If she has a degree and teachers certificate, she is not limited like she indicated. Nothing is forcing her to stay in that school.

Even without a degree or teachers certificate she isn't limited. She is making herself a limited situation, by demanding to teach in THIS school, THIS subject, THIS pay, THIS whatever else. Of course she's not getting it! !!!

LisaS

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 8:04 am

amother wrote:

This OP smells like geiva

What a hurtful thing to say!!!

OP is in a difficult predicament - she teaches in a school where most of her colleagues are accepting of this mistreatment. Starting over in a new career is a last resort; she wants to first see if she has any recourse to continue as a teacher, which she loves, but stay afloat financially. This isn't just a job, it's a shlichut. What about that is gaivadik?

amother

Bronze

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 8:07 am

LisaS wrote:

Even as shlichut and responsibility there are other options. She CAN continue as teacher. She doesn't want to do what is necessary to make it work.

amother

Blue

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 8:12 am

amother wrote:

???? Do you work?

THIS pay? She's asking for the salary that was agreed upon with the school.

If the school can't afford to pay her - she shouldn't have been hired in the first place.

this is so sad.

amother

Bronze

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 8:23 am

amother wrote:

Yes, I work!!
And although what you said is correct, the fact is still that she didn't get paid and she has to deal with people who don't keep their promise. For sure, it's sad! !! So is the solution to sit in the sadness and mope and complain? ! Find something that DOES work out. Don't sit in the stink and complain.
There are sooooo many women on this site with faulty marriages, and people are sooooo easily suggesting divorce. Why is this different? Divorce yourself from the situation.

saw50st8

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 8:28 am

OP, you can bring them to Bais Din.

This is really a HUGE halachic issue. They can measure all the skirts they want, but until they pay the staff on time, they are not practicing halachic Judaism. They should pay the staff FIRST and then figure out how to pay their other bills. They should not be financing their bills on the backs of their staff.

If you want to be less confrontational directly, write a letter and name the school and send it to one of the Jewish publications. Or make a blog post. It will give the school enough bad publicity that they should at least respond. If you have enough friends with kids in the school, try to have a campaign to have parents call and question why the staff isn't being paid.

amother

Linen

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 8:28 am

amother wrote:

U sound like your miles away from understanding op. I live in her community so I 'get' it even though I've never had her issues. I agree woman yell divorce too quickly but please dont make q fool out of urself by comparing the 2 situations!

amother

Bronze

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 8:37 am

amother wrote:

If she wants this for herself, so be it! Of course the 2 are comparable. You don't want to see it, so don't.
BTW, being so determined in one's ideas causes lots of emotional pain. in the end the only option is medication to be able to handle the stress. For their own wellbeing, it's important to let go, and acquire a more easy going state of mind. I understand her because I had my own false areas of determination. It's part of life. We cannot make the world go according to our own belief system, we MUST be submissive in some areas, so we can be strong where it's necessary to be strong. We cannot pull the rope from both ends.

amother

Bronze

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 8:40 am

saw50st8 wrote:

Although this is true, this is a sure way to lose the job.