Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Working Women
What do I do?
1  2  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
White


 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 9:12 am
I work in a mixed men and lady environment
A female coworker recently has been chatting on our chat system to a male coworker and it's obviously not about work. No-one can see the chats besides from each other
I am going crazy I feel this can lead to something and I feel very uncomfortable. I dont know if to approach and say something or to just ignore. What
Back to top

33055




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 9:16 am
amother wrote:
I work in a mixed men and lady environment
A female coworker recently has been chatting on our chat system to a male coworker and it's obviously not about work. No-one can see the chats besides from each other
I am going crazy I feel this can lead to something and I feel very uncomfortable. I dont know if to approach and say something or to just ignore. What


MYOB - You are not the morals police.

Do you know for a fact it is not about work since only the two of them can see?
Back to top

amother
White


 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 9:21 am
Yes I do know for a fact its not about work.
Back to top

iammom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 9:23 am
That sounds like a tough spot to be in. Watching something potentially happen but not being able to do anything.

I would say that they are adults and it's up to them to stop what they are doing.
Back to top

33055




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 9:24 am
amother wrote:
Yes I do know for a fact its not about work.


How if only the two of them can see?
Back to top

amother
White


 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 9:28 am
We are a very small office
I know what the workload is.
When they need to speak about work its done in meetings.
Only small questions are asked on the chat system
I walked by the desk and saw what was written.
Back to top

saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 9:28 am
Do you only talk to your coworkers about strictly work?
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 9:30 am
Well, you saw what was written.
Was it about her dead dog? or was it problematic?
If c'v it was problematic, I would bring up something (now, what?) about how you found weird stuff on the chat when you wanted to access, has to be a bug, you have no idea where it is from. Don't look at them while saying it.
Back to top

33055




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 9:32 am
amother wrote:
We are a very small office
I know what the workload is.
When they need to speak about work its done in meetings.
Only small questions are asked on the chat system
I walked by the desk and saw what was written.


So it is not only the two of them who can see?

Why do you read your co-workers' email? That is intrusive. You sound very controlling.

In any event, MYOB about their private lives. It is none of your business.
Back to top

cm




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 9:42 am
MYOB.

If it is prohibited to use the chat system for personal use it will probably come back to them one way or another. Unless you are in a supervisory role or the IT technician responsible for monitoring the system, leave it alone.
Back to top

HonesttoGod




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 9:59 am
How can you see it if "no one can see it besides them two"
And as everyone else said, MYOB. Seriously even if they were having relations in the bathroom it is non of your business youre not the boss or the spouse or even the parent.
Back to top

lavenderchimes




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 10:22 am
If she is a friend, it is possible that you could bring it up as a concerned friend. But you need to be careful, because it really isn't your business. You say it is driving you crazy? I'm sorry, but it has nothing to do with you. So unless you are close to the woman, you need to let this go.
Back to top

shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 10:35 am
Is it bothering you because it is between a male and female?
If thats it, move on.
If thats not it, move on.
Its not your business.
And if you saw their conversation that means that anyone that passes their desk can see it too.
Mind your own business and get back to work.
Back to top

amother
Aubergine


 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 10:35 am
At my old job there was a frum married man and frum married woman who acted way too friendly. They would go out shopping or to ice cream together on breaks, talk super close together in quiet corners, text and chat with each other throughout the day. It was really uncomfortable to watch but they're both adults and there was nothing to do. Some people actually did say something to make sure they realized that this didn't look good and it didn't help.
Back to top

simba




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 11:10 am
I work in a frum mixed environment as well. I have seen things that should not happen.
None of your business unless you are HR.
It is sad to see but they are adults and will have to work this out or suffer the consequences themselves.
It is very hart to work so closely with males and keep your distance on a personal level at the same time. Do not judge her and be glad you don't have this Nisayon.
Back to top

amother
White


 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 12:33 pm
Thanks everyone for your input.
Yes, she is a friend.
No, I am not a busybody at all, if someone sits next to you to speak with you and you have an email opened, automatically they may end up seeing a word or two without even wanting to. That somebody is me. If two people are typing and constantly giving each other looks and you all sit together, you do not need to be a busybody to notice that. This is something that even those who keep to themselves and perk out of everyone else's business will notice.
Back to top

simba




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 12:42 pm
If you are her friend you can say something.

Tell her that you noticed the chatting and it is none of your business but you want her to be careful that she doesn't slip. Men are not good at boundaries and if she cares to keep them she should be careful.

Leave it there.
Back to top

zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 12:45 pm
It's nice of you to care about your coworker's future but MYOB. The woman is an adult. You are neither her mother nor her spiritual leader.

If you are her supervisor you can warn her against using company resources for non-business purposes if you have a policy forbidding such use. You can warn her against fraternizing with coworkers if your company has such a policy.

If you are not her supervisor, this is none of your business and she will not thank you for mixing in. The ONLY thing you might get away with doing is letting her know that her use of the computer for personal communication is visible to others and if there is a policy against it, she could get into trouble if she continues.

It is absolutely not your place to address the propriety or lack thereof of her personal relationships.
Back to top

MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 1:20 pm
Posted in error

Last edited by MagentaYenta on Mon, Sep 11 2017, 1:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 11 2017, 1:21 pm
amother wrote:
Thanks everyone for your input.
Yes, she is a friend.
No, I am not a busybody at all, if someone sits next to you to speak with you and you have an email opened, automatically they may end up seeing a word or two without even wanting to. That somebody is me. If two people are typing and constantly giving each other looks and you all sit together, you do not need to be a busybody to notice that. This is something that even those who keep to themselves and perk out of everyone else's business will notice.


Me thinks you doth protest too much. Guard your own eyes and mind your own business.
Back to top
Page 1 of 2 1  2  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Working Women