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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
amother
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 Mon, Sep 15 2014, 9:44 pm
There is a girl in my dd's class who is not very nice to her and other kids in her class. She is in a clique of three girls who are kind of" upper class" and even at 4 they know more about fashion and name brands then I do...
Anyway I bought dd a pair of shoes that I know this girl wanted, but for whatever reasons she didn't get them. She wore them to school today, and I asked dd if she liked wearing he knew shoes. She said "x told me that if I don't leave the toy kitchen, she is going to take my shoes and bring them home". So dd left the kitchen.
Dd doesn't really understand that the girl was being mean to her.
I know this is a minor incident, but I don't wANt DD to constantly give in to the girl, or feel bad around her.
What would you do?
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Notsobusy
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Mon, Sep 15 2014, 10:19 pm
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Definitely speak to the teacher. Also explain to your dd that nobody besides to teacher has the right to order her around, definitely not to threaten her. Let her know that if anyone does threaten her, she has to tell the teacher immediately. My shy dd would also just walk away, but then be sad, we had to teach her to stand up for herself, and if she doesn't feel capable of it, to tell the teacher.
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amother
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Mon, Sep 15 2014, 10:29 pm
Op. Thanks for the responses. Dd is very shy with adults and teachers, but not with other kids. She would never go up to the teacher and say what happened. I'll speak to the teacher, I'm just worried that when the teacher doesn't catch it, dd won't stand up from herself or tell a teacher. When it's a close friend she will definitely defend her rights, but not with a class mate she isn't close with.
We have been working on the shyness for 3 years... it's only gotten slightly better but everyone shrugs it off and her Dr says it's not selective Muetism.
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amother
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Mon, Sep 15 2014, 10:34 pm
Op. Thanks for the responses. Dd is very shy with adults and teachers, but not with other kids. She would never go up to the teacher and say what happened. I'll speak to the teacher, I'm just worried that when the teacher doesn't catch it, dd won't stand up from herself or tell a teacher. When it's a close friend she will definitely defend her rights, but not with a class mate she isn't close with.
We have been working on the shyness for 3 years... it's only gotten slightly better but everyone shrugs it off and her Dr says it's not selective Muetism.
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Notsobusy
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Mon, Sep 15 2014, 10:43 pm
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It's really hard when they are so shy with the teacher. My dd would come home saying she didn't eat lunch because the teacher gave her the wrong thing, or she didn't have the homework because the teacher didn't pass enough sheets to her row. I kept reminding the teacher that she was like this, so please be on the lookout. I also kept reminding dd that she must tell the teacher, the teacher wants her to tell when she has a problem, and the only one who gets hurt if she doesn't tell the teacher is herself. B"h it wasn't anything near selective mutism and she is doing much better today.
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