All Natural-Hair Wigs Banned Again!

jkl

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 7:22 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

Every woman knows in her heart that there is something intrinsically wrong with a pretty natural looking wig (long or short). They are hypocritical and immodest.
That's why the reaction to the posts about this topic are so heated and bring such negative responses. It hits a real raw nerve in a woman's neshama.
There are many woman today putting on tichels precisely for this reason.
In shamayim we will all stand alone regardless of what our Rav says. And we will have to answer for every man we caused to look our way - this is not an easy thing to swallow

How on earth do you know whats going on in every woman's heart? In my heart, I feel yiddishkeit allows for - and actually calls for - a woman to feel and look beautiful. And a beautiful wig allows us to beautify the mitzvah of covering our hair and sanctifying our hair for our husbands. If you feel it doesn't do that, then go ahead and cover your hair with whatever you feel does do that. But just because you feel or understand differently, does not mean you get to denigrate a majority of klal yisroel - and many Gedolim along the way.

The negative responses on this thread is mostly due to your twisting this mitzvah into something that it isn't. It's precisely that kind of rigidity that chases people away from the beauty of Judaism. There are many different ways to honor and fulfill mitzvahs and every woman should carry them out in a way that enhances her life, her yiddishkeit - and not yours!

BH5745

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 7:25 pm

Almost everyone in my area (in Jerusalem and very Chassidish) wears a short natural hair sheitel, either for daily use or special occasions. All these sheitels have a hechsher, most are natural looking with skin top, and many wear a small hat on the sheitel.

Anyways, let's not pretend all sheitels are long and/or immodest, because that's inaccurate. I rarely see women in long sheitels around here, let alone immodest ones. And yes, we all look very Jewish! Virtually everyone here looks tznius, smart, pulled together and edel.

You know, it seems hard to believe that Rebbes this world over would approve of such sheitels if ח״ו they weren't kosher... And we can trust that our Rabbonim have done the proper research to determine whether today's sheitels are kosher or not. Reading the opinions and hear-say of people on the internet -people who are not qualified to and do not pasken for us- is not doing one's own research. That's thinking we know better than and doubting the Tzaddikim and leaders of our generation. If one's Rov says their sheitel is kosher, then it is, end of story. We never question the posek of another person's qualified Rov, even when our own Rov paskens differently.

happysmile1

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 7:26 pm

You're all right!
I'm definitely not anyone of any importance but I was zoche to learn about this mitzvah from very special Rabbanim and Rebbetzins and I'm just trying to share this info during aseres yimai teshuva.
I hope everyone forgives me if I offended anyone (certainly not my intention!) and I hope that some women learn from the posts and follow up with the books and teleconferences

mommy3b2c

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 7:26 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

As I wrote before it's the immodesty and the natural pretty wigs that are destroying shalom bayis and bringing sinah and jealousy to the frum world.
And yes we should wear all the beautiful wigs and jewelry at home for our husbands, not outside where other men see us. We should be low key in the streets. That is true modesty.
All the other mitzvos today are easy to keep - modesty is not. Who doesn't want to keep shabbos and kosher? Who wants to make their wig less natural and wear long skirts? Our nisayon and schar is where the challenge is.
If I asked women here to bake challah for a sick friend of mine, everyone would happily run to do it. If I asked women here to please work on tznius for a sick friend of mine like maybe cut their wig or wear a tichel, how many would jump to do it?
This is not because women here aren't amazing (woman are incredible)- it's because it's so challenging today to down play ourselves outside for modesty.
So here lies the true test of our generation...

Actually, stopping to wear my beautiful, long wig would cause me major shalom bayis problems.

chavamom

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 7:27 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

I hope everyone forgives me if I offended anyone (certainly not my intention!) and I hope that some women learn from the posts and follow up with the books and teleconferences

Nope. I think you are harmful. Seriously. I hope you do introspection and come to true teshuva.

jkl

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 7:28 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

And wearing nice hair on top of our own hair is not modest.

Why isn't a nice wig modest? If you want to debate the issue about 'looking married' or not, I can see where you're coming from, but why isn't a decent wig modest?

And in many cases, a wig can be more modest than a tichel. If I'm the only one wearing a tichel in a professional setting, who do you think will stand out more - the singular woman wearing a tichel, or the dozens of women with various different hairstyles?

mommy3b2c

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 7:30 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

And I was taught by very chashuv Rebbetzins that if we cause a man to sin even unintentionally we are held accountable for it in shamayim.
And that Hashem said over every one of Chava's Limbs while creating her that she should be a modest woman - over and over again. Not anything else.
This is our main tikun!! To be modest!
And this applies to our head covering as well- no matter what everyone else is wearing. It has to be modest too!
And wearing nice hair on top of our own hair is not modest.
Please everyone on this thread instead of getting insulted and upset by what I'm writing please step back and just ask yourself honestly- do the nice wigs today make any sense??
And please because it's before Yom Kippur and there are hurricanes and earthquakes all over- please read the recommended books and listen to the recommended teleconferences.
They will truly change your views.

Omg! Now im to blame for the hurricanes because im not reading your recommended books!

BH5745

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 7:38 pm

What does it mean to do one's own research? I always thought that means consulting halachic literature or asking a halachic authority, such as a mashpia, Rabbi or Rov. The fact is, anyone can write anything they want and publish it on the internet. You can read all sorts of negative "information" and "facts" about any topic, including sheitels on the internet. But is much of this information even verifiable? Is it realistic for most of us women to ask the quoted Rabbonim whether these quotes are 1) what they really said and if so 2) accurate English translations of their meanings? Of course not. So the question now is, do we do our research by 1) getting fear-mongered into believing anything negative we read about sheitels (or any person or topic for that matter) on the internet, or 2) do we consult a real, breathing, qualified halachic authority?

SixOfWands

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 7:39 pm

little neshamala wrote:

Whaaaaaaaat? I cant believe this. It sounds like youre saying we should ask our Rav, but use our brain to see if what hes saying makes sense??

Aseh lecha rav means ask your Rav and no matter what he says and how little it makes sense, thats the halacha. "Even if he says right is left etc"...come on.

Everybody just ask your Rav and trust in his psak and thats it.

p

Allow me to translate. Feel free to ask your Rav, but unless he agrees with her, he's wring, and you need to use your brain and reject him. Because only her Rav can be correct.

And she's spoken to your Rav. He's confided in her that everything he tells you is a lie. Because if he told you the truth, and told you that you're going to burn in Hades for all eternity for wearing a sheitl, then you'd just uncover your hair and order lobster. Because you're weak, like all of the women of our generation. Never mind the increasing restrictions put on all of us. (I'm so tired of that bubbemeitze that rabbis lie about things being okay in deference to our "weakness." They don't. Its just a fairy tale to explain increasing strictures.)

Not my monkeys, not my circus. I usually wear a beret, or a baseball cap. But I'm livid that someone would dare attack so many fine women here, not to mention so many learned rabbis.

Mommyg8

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 7:46 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

And I was taught by very chashuv Rebbetzins that if we cause a man to sin even unintentionally we are held accountable for it in shamayim.

Seriously? Do you mean that if I am walking around completely tzniusdik according to my Rav, and I unintentionally cause someone to sin, then I am held accountable? That doesn't sound right.

Was Dinah held accountable that Shchem kidnapped her? What about Tamar (from the story of Amnon and Tamar - it must be that she incited him?). What about Bas-Sheva? I never saw anywhere that Bas-Sheva did an aveira of any sort.

Are you from the Taliban? I'm starting to think that you must have spoken to their leaders.

chavamom

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 8:38 pm

chavamom wrote:

So why not wear a burka? That would be "more tznius", right?

I'm still waiting for an answer to this. I suspect I haven't gotten one because she knows that tznius is largely dependent on community norms and burkas are not normative or normal.

So explain why sheitels that are normative in a community and rabbonim say are fine are "assur"? Because this poster knows better! She's researched it! She has rabbis who say she is correct! Guess what. Burka ladies make the same claims including the "rabbonim don't want to tell you because it's a weak generation! They really know this is better. Look at the Rambam! Learn it yourself!"

happybeingamom

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 8:45 pm

I am very proud of the mitzvah I do that my sons can learn as much as they can even though it limits my time with them significantly.

I am very proud when I had babies and the evenings were hard I let my husband go to learn.

I am very proud that I have done numerous chasadim for people in my life.

I am very proud on hot summer days I cover more than halacha requires because of minhag hamokom.

I can add so much more because as most frum women of all stripes everyday we do so much to serve Hashem and his people I am not unique in that.

I truly feel that I am an Eved Hashem and I do not agree with a philosophy that my Yidishkeit is based on your interpretation of tznius when I follow my Rav's psak.

I of course have so much more to work on but that is my life's job.

Wishing everyone a Gmar Chasima Tova as I don't think I will get much more time on here before Yom Kippur.