All Natural-Hair Wigs Banned Again!

Notsobusy

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 9:03 pm

happysmile1, I think it is time for you to go ask all of your special rabbonim and rebbetzins if you have a right to tell thousands of frum women that their rabbonim are wrong and that the rabbonim who do know better have their hands tied and so they lie to their constituents. And also ask if you have a right to tell thousands of frum women that if they listen to their rabbonim they are naive sheep, and that their rabbonim will tell only you the truth, because you are one of the only frum woman strong enough to hear it. And please, ask them if it is right or wrong for you to do this especially during the aseres yimei teshuva and if it is correct for you to create such machlokes at this special time.

Then please come back and give us the answers. I'll be waiting. Thanks!

happysmile1

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 9:41 pm

I was warned that if you post something here that women don't like to hear be prepared for strong and and brutal comments! I'm personally not a fan on name calling.
I really didn't think that posting what Gedolim said and quoting info I learned from Rebbetzins about kisui rosh would cause such a reaction.
I'm not promoting burkas - honestly I think this insulting is getting out of hand. I also didn't say not to listen to your Rav. But many Gedolim including Rav Ellyashiv said that a natural pretty wig is forbidden and is like erva- so if your local Rav tells you that you could wear a pretty and natural and long wig than yes he is going against many Gedolim including Rav Elyashiv. It is not apikoras to let women know this. They have a right to know the info and to know all "sides" as everyone here likes to write. The Baba Sali said that any woman who wears a sheitel will burn in Gehenim starting from her wig down (I would never say this myself but there's nothing wrong with me quoting a huge tzaddik.) And I have a letter from Rav Ovadia Yosef's son stating that any Rav who allows the immodest wigs will have to answer in Shamayim. And I'm quoting Gedolim - nothing I write is my own opinion.
Everyone obviously can and will do whatever they want so why is it bothering everyone so much when I write certain points that Rabbanim and Rebbetzins told me.
If it bothers you so much to hear that your sheitel might be a problem than just ignore what I wrote. I personally never thought the sheitels were an issue until I studied the topic.
Everyone can and should call Rabbanim and ask them to tell them their honest opinion about the wigs. But it doesn't mean it has to stop there- what's wrong with researching it further and reading about what Gedolim say and have said about kisui rosh and wigs/tichels. There's so much to discover about this mitzvah.
It's wonderful that everyone is working on so many important mirzvos but tznius is our most important one. As it says in Adorned with Dignity- "Hashem, whose essence is modest, adores tznius, as it is written אין לך חיבה לפני המקום מן הצניעות. Therefore, He can only dwell in a place of tznius."
And yes there are many women now wearing tichels! I don't live in Lakewood but I personally know many there that have recently switched to tichels. I've heard that hundreds of women have attended these headwear events where beautiful tichels and hats are sold.
There are women in all frum communities now wearing tichels exclusively.

happysmile1

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 10:01 pm

Here's some info from Adorned with Dignity that really clarifies why we cover out hair:

A man marrying a married woman is a most serious aveirah that falls under the category of יהרג ואל יעבר—he must be ready to be killed rather than violate this aveirah. (Some are even of the opinion that a man just looking at another woman’s beauty for pleasure falls under the category of יהרג ואל יעבר. ) For this reason, a married woman requires extra tznius to conceal her beauty from other men through covering her hair.

Why did the Torah specifically command that she conceal her hair rather than any other form of concealment? Since the main beauty of a woman is through her hair, the Torah requires her to hide it from the public in order to detract attention from herself, as explained by the Rishonim (on the Gemara) and the Poskim (on the Shulchan Aruch).

The Maalos Hamiddos teaches, “שערות האשה הן פריצות וערוה ומרגילין את האדם להרהור ותאווה—Hair of a married woman is considered immodest and ervah and incites a person to forbidden thoughts and desires.” Thus, through covering her hair properly, a woman prevents other men from being attracted to her. Indeed, this mitzvah was given as a gift of protection to the woman. Just like a helmet protects bike riders and passengers, this mitzvah of covering the hair, too, protects the married woman. When we realize that the mitzvah is meant for our protection, we will cover our hair lovingly and properly.

happysmile1

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 10:06 pm

It continues:

"Indeed, a man’s yetzer hara to look at another woman is greater than his yetzer hara to gaze at an unmarried girl because “stolen waters are sweeter”—when something is forbidden, the temptation for it is that much greater. Additionally, hair of a married woman effects a connection between her and those who see her and incites the yetzer hara. For these two fundamental reasons, a woman must cover her hair in a way that it does not attract undue attention. Unfortunately, if she is not careful in this area, she can unwillingly cause thousands of people to violate the commandment of “ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם,” which is a Torah prohibition against forbidden sights and thoughts."

We are living in challenging times, as per the words of the Navi, “It is a time of trouble for Yaakov.” Indeed, Torah study flourishes as never before, and a thirst for spiritual growth has become widespread to an extent unparalleled in our history—but despite this, we are witnessing occurences that are threatening our very existence.

Eretz Yisrael faces constant threats of annihilation, huge portions of our nation are vanishing through assimilation, people of all ages are suffering terrible diseases, and there are countless children who are abandoning their observance of Torah and mitzvos. In truth, the whole world is in a state of upheaval. Whole countries are suffering from natural disasters—such as eathquakes, floods, and tsunamis—in addition to man-made calamities—such as war, terror, crime, and severe financial crises.

All this is taking place despite the increased growth of Torah study and spiritual growth in our generation. How can we put a stop to this?

The Key to Protection

In painful situations, people seek all sorts of segulos in order to stop the troubles, but we have to realize that we can only be helped through Hashem’s protection, which is only ensured through tznius. As the pasuk reveals: “Hashem says, ‘I am ready to protect you from all your enemies, yet there is one condition: your camps should be holy and modest.’”

Harav Aharon Yehuda Leib Shteinman shlit”a explains that what we are experiencing is the actualization of the next words in the pasuk, “ויראה בך ערות דבר ושב מאחריך—Hashem says, ‘If I will see a shameful thing (something immodest), then I will turn away from you.’” Unfortunately, when Hashem leaves us, we are left without any protection.

jkl

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 10:09 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

From Chabad.org:

Question

I heard an anthropologist talking about shaitels (wigs). He said how ironic it is that observant Jewish women wear wigs. In biblical Judaism, the rule was that married women should cover their hair in order to be modest and unattractive. In more recent times, women wear wigs, which are sometimes more attractive than natural hair. So wearing a wig actually defeats the whole purpose of covering the hair! He was giving this as an example of how cultures forget the reasons behind their ancient traditions, and customs can evolve in a way that contradicts their original intent. Do you have any comments?

Answer:

That anthropologist has not only mistaken a wig for real hair, but has also confused true modesty for his own version. He equates modesty with unattractiveness, but that is his definition, not Judaism's. From the Jewish perspective, modesty has nothing to do with being unattractive. Rather, modesty is a means to create privacy. And that is what a wig achieves.

Modesty has nothing to do with being unattractive The hair-covering was never intended to make a married woman look ugly. Beauty is a divine gift, and Jewish tradition encourages both men and women to care for their appearance and always look presentable. Jewish tradition also encourages modesty; not in order to detract from our beauty, but rather to channel our beauty and attractiveness so it be saved for where it belongs -- within marriage.

By covering her hair, the married woman makes a statement: "I am not available. You can see me but I am not open to the public. Even my hair, the most obvious and visible part of me, is not for your eyes."

The hair-covering has a profound effect on the wearer. It creates a psychological barrier, a cognitive distance between her and strangers. Her beauty becomes visible but inconspicuous; she is attractive but unavailable.

The wig achieves the desired effect exactly, because a wig allows a woman to cover all her hair, while maintaining her attractive appearance. She can be proud of the way she looks without compromising her privacy. And even if her wig looks so real as to be mistaken for natural hair, she knows that no one is looking at the real her. She has created a private space, and only she decides who to let into that space.

Perhaps in other religions modesty and beauty don't mix. This is not the Jewish view. True beauty, inner beauty, needs modesty to protect it and allow it to thrive.

happysmile1

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 10:09 pm

And I had to post this from Adorned with Dignity too (nothing I'm writing is my own opinion- the author of this book a very well established and respected author):

"A Woman's Responsibility

Some women erroneously think that the prohibition that forbids a man from gazing for pleasure at a woman is solely a man's obligation. They are not aware—albeit unintentionally—that we, as women, carry a vital responsibility. As the Rabbeinu Yonah explains, “וצריכה האשה שתהא צנועה ונזהרת מאוד שלא יסתכלו בה בני אדם חוץ מבעלה מפני שהמסתכלים בפניה או בידיה יורדים לגיהנם והיא ענושה על כל אחד ואחד מהם מפני שהחטיאה אותם ולא נהגה צניעות בעצמה ונכשלו בה—A woman must be modest and very careful that she doesn't cause men (other than her husband) to look at her since those who look at her face or arms will be punished. And she will be held accountable for every person whom she caused to stumble since this occurred because she did not conduct herself with tznius.”

Hagaon Harav Nissen Karelitz shlit”a cautions, “A woman is obligated to be careful that she doesn't cause other men to have forbidden thoughts because of her since through this she transgresses the prohibition of ‘לפני עור לא תתן מכשול—Do not cause others to stumble.’”

Everything a person sees stays with him, whether he wants it to or not. And the influence of what a man sees is completely different from the influence of that very same sight for a woman. Women need to be aware that they don't understand these differences, and therefore, they must simply accept Hashem's command to make every effort to conduct themselves in a way that will make it easier for men not to be attracted to them.

Even if we don't understand the profound significance of modesty, we should remember the innate nature of every member of Klal Yisrael, who are רחמנים, בישנים, וגומלי חסדים—compassionate, reserved, and doers of kindness. Let us regard this as an opportunity to be modest in order to perform kindness for a large segment of the Jewish population: the men. Indeed, women can help them guard their eyes through being careful with their appearance and making sure that it is restrained and modest.

In truth, the more a woman conducts herself modestly, the more she is praised. She can strengthen herself in tefillah, chessed, shemiras halashon...but the chief tribute she will recieve is for her scrupulousness in this mitzvah. As the Maharal reveals, “עיקר שבח האשה ומדרגתה העליונה היא צניעות—The ultimate praise and the highest level a woman can achieve is tznius.” How lucky is the woman who earns herself the title of a true tznuah. She will be praised in this world and the next and reap immeasurable s’char in both worlds."

happysmile1

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 10:12 pm

My last post from this incredible book which really gives quite an education on tznius and kisui rosh:

"Hagaon Harav Dan Segal shlit”a revealed in a speech given in the city of Bnei Brak:
Many men confide in me that they are struggling with great nisyonos due to the sheitels and dress code of frum women, which effect them more than the immodest secular women...

Indeed, a woman who attracts attention to herself in public unintentionally causes many pitfalls. Firstly, she falls under the category of מחטיא את הרבים—causing others to sin.

Our Chazal teach us, “גדול המחטיא לאדם יותר מן ההורגו שההורגו הוא רק בעוה"ז והמחטיאו הוא גם בעוה"ב—One who causes a person to sin is worse than one who kills him since one who kills him cuts him off only from this world, yet one who causes him to sin, cuts him off from this world and the next.”

Secondly, she breaches the foundation of her creation, which is to be modest. As is known that upon creating every part of the first woman, Hashem declared the same phrase and prayer, “תהא אשה צנועה—You shall be a modest woman.” He reiterated this countless times in order to establish that this is the essence of her creation.

Thirdly, through adorning herself in public with an attractive wig, eye-catching make-up, inappropriate clothes, and alluring perfume, she can cause the destruction of shalom bayis in homes because other men may find her more attractive than their own wives (since "forbidden waters are sweeter" ). Indeed, it is unfortunate that she is making use of the Divine gift of beauty Hashem granted her to attract herself to her husband and is utilizing it to go against His will. This is a two-fold wrongdoing since through this she is betraying her husband and causing other men to be attracted to her.

Certainly, a woman who dresses inappropriately is unaware of the harm she is causing. Surely, she would correct her ways upon learning about the importance of retaining her modesty and preventing others from sinning."

happysmile1

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 10:15 pm

I know that this is a lot of posting from one book but for all the women who are expressing interest in the topic...

"Purpose of the Mitzvah of Covering the Hair

The Torah requires a woman to cover her hair in public so that she does not occupy herself with the practice of beautifying her hair for others. Through this, she detracts attention from herself when she is in public.

Let us introspect with Torah lenses and a pure heart that yearns for the truth. When we honestly analyze many of today's sheitels, we will discover two essential aspects that contradict the fundamental purpose of the mitzvah of covering the hair.

Firstly, there is no article of clothing that a woman is more occupied with beautifying and spends more money on than her sheitel. Even more, from all the garments that a woman wears, her beautiful sheitel is the only garment that is worn primarily for the outside. It is usually taken off the minute she enters her home. (As a husband told his wife when she asked him what sheitel to but, "Maybe you should ask the owner of the fish store, because he sees it more than I do.") Secondly, the length, style, and natural flow of today's sheitels very often attract more attention than a girl's hair.

Even the secular world acknowledges that many sheitels of today contradict the purpose of the commandment that a Jewish woman must cover her hair.

When Mrs. S., an influential member of a heimishe community in America, once brought her son to cheder, the non-Jewish guard questioned her why she was wearing a snood. Uncomfortable to talk to a strange man, she quickly answered that Jewish law requires a married woman to cover her hair for modesty purposes. The guard then asked a frightening question: "So then why are the other woman in the community wearing those glamorous, attractive wigs?" His question left her dumbfounded.

A bank teller who was studying the Bible told Mr. M. from Monsey, NY, "The wigs that look just like hair are defeating the purpose of the practice of covering the hair. These women are fooling themselves!"

A man recently confided to his wife, "A non-Jewish customer asked me, 'Doesn't your Bible command married women to cover their hair?' When I answered him that they were wearing wigs, he replied, 'Is this some kind of joke?'"

We learn from here that a woman who wears an attractive wig is unintentionally causing a great chillul Hashem.

We know that “Bnos Yisrael ksheirus—Jewish women are faithful and sincere.” Unfortunately, these wigs have entered our midst due to a lack of awareness."

happysmile1

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 10:27 pm

This is important too (continued from Adorned with Dignity)"

"So what should we think when we see someone wearing an eye-catching sheitel? How can we judge her favorably?

Firstly, we should know that most people are unaware of the purpose of this mitzvah and the harm caused by wearing attractive sheitels. Indeed, many girls, upon getting married, know that they must cover their hair with a wig, so they innocently go out to buy a nice sheitel; the more beautiful, the better. They have no idea that the purpose of a head-covering is to detract attention from the married woman.

Secondly, we must remember that this is the final battle before Mashiach, and therefore, the yetzer hara is fighting with all his power to win since he knows that his end is near. Thus, it is very difficult for some people to overcome him due to lack of strength and knowledge. Indeed, we know that even the great gedolim from previous generations who were against the whole idea of wearing a wig in general were unable to persuade their own children to go along with their views.

Additionally, there are women who suffer from low self-esteem and do not respect themselves for their inner values, either due to a difficult childhood, general life experience, or insecure natures. Thus, they unfortunately have an illusionary need to flaunt their exterior appearance through attractive head-coverings. Instead of condemning them, we can try to feel along with their pain and hope that they will eventually gain the courage to do what is right.

Even those women who downplay the importance of upgrading one's head-covering or even ridicule those who grow in this mitzvah are truly suffering internally. Their pure neshomos know the emes, but since they are not yet on the level of actualizing this truth, they have to constantly struggle with their inner conscience to come up with excuses and rationalizations. Indeed, when we view such women favorably, our positive thoughts will evoke the same positive feelings in them, as we learned earlier, “כמים הפנים לפנים כן לב האדם לאדם.” Thus, through our positive thoughts, we can arouse a change in them.

Additionally, we can pray to Hashem for them that He grant them the wisdom, strength, and courage to perform His will properly. Such a prayer is valued very highly in Shamayim, since when we daven for spiritual matters, Hashem answers our tefillos."

happysmile1

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 10:31 pm

And this is just so important for all those women who asked what about the Rebbetzins: (from Adorned with Dignity)

"Comparing Ourselves to Other Righteous Women in the Community

The yetzer hara has another sly tactic that he uses. He reminds us of a rebbetzin, teacher, or righteous woman whom we look up to and shows us how she wears a certain type of sheitel. He then reprimands us, "Do you think you are better than she? If she wears such a head-covering, then surely it is okay for you!"

Let us not allow ourselves to be trapped in the yetzer hara's cunning snare. Indeed, after 120, the excuse of, "So and so also erred in this area," will not help us. In truth, every person will have to give a clear individual accounting of his actions, irrespective of how others in that time conducted themselves.

The Toldos Yaakov Yosef, a close disciple of the Ba’al Shem Tov, enlightens us that this is one of the most cunning and practical tactics of the yetzer hara. Instead of having to persuade thousands of women to be negligent in a certain area, he convinces one pious woman who is admired in the community to err in this area. In this way, others will emulate her with the excuse of, "If she conducts herself this way, surely I can follow in her path."

People approached Harav Meshulam Dovid Soloveitchik shlit”a and excused themselves for wearing a wig with the rationalization that if chashuve people in Lithuania wore a sheitel in their times, it must be okay for today's generation. If it weren’t permissible, they rationalized, their husbands would have convinced them to change. When the rav heard this, he was very pained and explained in anguish, "This is false! It is just an excuse! And if they wouldn't have this excuse, they would find other excuses."

Harav Shalom Schwadron, the Maggid of Yerushalayim pointed out, "Today it makes no difference who is wearing such wigs, even if it is the wives of talmidei chachamim. It is impossible to take a heter since people can fall under the category of עובר עבירה ושנה בה נעשית לו כהיתר—one who violates an aveirah repeatedly, he becomes so accustomed to it that he perceives it as permissible.”

Harav Ephraim Wachsman cautions, "We should not listen to the tricks of the yetzer hara who tells us, ‘Look at that great mechaneches or look at the wife, daughter, or daughter-in-law of the great talmid chacham. Indeed, she does so much chesed or davens so ehrlich, and she wears this sheitel.’ The Bnos Yisrael, the nashim tzidkanios, can change the world! A group of kallos who are courageous, idealistic, and noble can say, 'We are going to be strong, we are not going to live in this sheker (falsehood), and we are going to change things.' And you will be able to!"

happysmile1

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 10:37 pm

And lastly here is chizuk for those women that are able to wear a tichel/hat:

"Benefits for Those Who Are Zoche to Wear the Ideal Covering

Inner strength

A woman who takes upon herself to cover her hair with a kerchief portrays that she has inner strength, and she will be rewarded a thousandfold for her mesiras nefesh. As Hagaon Harav Binyamin Rabinovitz zt"l promised, "Such a woman is conducting herself beyond her nature, and therefore, she will be zoche to salvations that are supernatural."

He explains in his approbation for the sefer Da’as Moshe v'Yisroel:
It is written in Pirkei Avos, “לפום צערא אגרא ”—the more difficult a mitzvah is, the greater the reward will be. Why is this so? The Chofetz Chaim explains that when someone performs a mitzvah (or avoids an aveirah) that is difficult for him, his s’char is a hundred times more than if he performed a different mitzvah that was not so difficult. As Chazal teach us, "Since it is better for a person to do one mitzvah that is hard for him more than perform a hundred mitzvos that are easier for him to perform."

Indeed, countless women in our generation have seen open miracles as a result of taking upon themselves to cover their head with a kerchief (see next lesson).

Connecting to Mesorah

The kerchief was the head-covering of all Jewish women throughout the generations. Even in more recent times, wives of our great gedolim covered their hair with a kerchief. Some of them are the wives of Harav Elya Lopian, The Steipler Gaon, Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, Harav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, Harav Ovadia Yosef, most Sefardic and chassidic Rabbis, among many others.

As mentioned earlier, many survivors were not able to maintain this custom and therefore covered their hair with a sheitel.

Harav Aharon of Belz attested that when the world will recover, there will be a movement to return to the custom of the hair-covering of our grandmothers.

Indeed, many people feel that now is the time that the rebbe was referring to.

When a woman wears the head-coveing that is the most mehudar, she connects herself to the righteous women from previous generations, all the way back to Sarah Imeinu. Through this, she elevates herself and perpetuates the legacy of our dear ancestors.

Closeness to Her Creator

When a woman adorns herself with a kerchief, she subjugates her will for the will of Hashem, and thus connects herself to her Creator every second of the day. She is then zoche to the awesome reward that is assured to her in Avos, “עשה רצונך כרצונו כדי שיעשה רצונך כרצונו.” "

happysmile1

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 10:39 pm

And a very important letter to think about before Yom Kippur from Adorned with Dignity:

"Points to Ponder by Harav Moshe Yehoshua Landau zt"l

Harav Moshe Yehoshua Landau zt"l wrote a poignant letter on Erev Yom Kippur in which he expounds on the following poignant points:

• After investigating the matter, people will conclude that the outbreak of sheitels
occurred due to the pressure of the non jews.
• Even if the sheitel can be considered as a covering, why would someone want to wear a
covering that looks like her hair is uncovered, which is the greatest shame for a woman
(as expounded on in the topic of the sotah).
• Isn't it beautiful to return to the covering of our holy grandmothers from previous
generations?
• Aren't people concerned about the problem of chillul Hashem?
• What will future generations say to the sheitel that is not recognizable as such? (It is
interesting to note that this was written over twenty years ago, when the sheitels were
not as upgraded and natural-looking as the sheitels of today.)

We beseech every yirai Shamayim to fear the words of Hashem and take these true words to heart to be the first ones [to upgrade] in this area. And they will serve as an inspiration to others to return and purify themselves before Hashem. And in the merit of this strengthening of kedushah on this world, may Hashem sanctify us from above and shine upon us the Shechinah so that we can truly come close to Him.

Signed in pain,
Moshe Yehoshua Landau"

Mommyg8

Sun, Sep 24 2017, 10:57 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

Who is R' Moshe Yehoshua Landau? I was just wondering, because I never heard of him.