Posting as amother

relish

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 7:47 pm

Posting as amother:
Cons
1. Sometimes against the rules
2Takes away from sense of community
3Harder to follow the thread
4Harder to understand where the person posting is coming from because you have no background information to base it on

Pros
1. Allows people to express themselves when they otherwise would not have do to negative feelings they may have about themselves, and/or afraid of exposing themselves by sharing something that may end up identifying them.
2. Allows shy posters to come out of the woodwork slowly over time, as they become more comfortable with posting their opinions
3. Allows posters to share their opinions without fear of their username being attacked, thereby sharing th heir thoughts while maintaining dignity.

(ETA: sometimes to the against the rules line. Thank you imasinger for clarifying)

Last edited by relish on Tue, Sep 26 2017, 8:15 pm; edited 2 times in total

Seriously

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 8:08 pm

Also its a small world out there
The fact that there is a button that allows anyone to read all of my posts at once consecutively makes me less secure about posting specific details under my username. Even if its not so private or revealing, a few detailed posts can give away my identity in real life.

For example if a post about loving being a nurse in a hospital and later about pros of being a tichel wearer, and a diff time info about a store in my city, a friend of mine can easily figure out its me . then when I post about a difficulty with my OTD child its no longer private

I feel that if that feature "see all posts by this user" wasn't available I wouldn't post anonymously as often

imasinger

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 8:10 pm

It's not against the rules to post as amother.

Only to do so while saying something negative about another poster.

Amother is for sharing personal things that you want to keep your identity private.

Or for some of the other things you mentioned.

But not for attacking.

singleagain

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:12 pm

It sometimes confuses me. Bc I can't detect anything personal in the post. Like "ISO meat restaurant in this city" often there is very little personal information in a post like that. Or in the replies. So I just don't get it.

amother

Gold

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:22 pm

singleagain wrote:

The name of the city can be identifying. Posters may not want their screen name associated with a specific city (that they are either living in or visiting and anyone IRL who knows them might put two and two together).

In the spirit of this thread, I shall remain,
amother

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:24 pm

I often post anonymously even non personal stuff. I don't post insults or snarky comments anonymously. I am just a little insecure...

amother

Smokey

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:26 pm

The Jewish world is very small. As my children are just starting shidduchim, all I need is for someone to come on here, figure out who I am IRL, read all my past threads, and say - Oh, I don't want THEM!

I also don't want to embarrass my dh or kids if I talk about them.

When I talk about personal stuff.

Signed, amother Very Happy

purple 1

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:27 pm

Seriously wrote:

This. If someone sounds familiar to someone else they can just read a lot of their posts and connect the dots - like mentioning diff children's ages, their genders, recomending stores in their city...

ohmygosh

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:29 pm

It never bothered me when people post amother and I never understand how other posters will use that against the anon another "well at least I'm posting with my username.. etc".. so what? Some people value their privacy more than others. This is a public online forum and some people don't want to identify anything online, including if they have children or not, what country they live in etc, and those are all valid privacy concerns.

MyKidsRQte

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:29 pm

singleagain wrote:

I don't get this either, but it doesn't bother me as much as the amothers using it as a shield to hide behind when they attack others

debsey

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:31 pm

Depends. If someone posts as amother and says something mean or attacking, I think she's a coward. If you're gonna attack someone else, have the guts to use your (still anonymous) screen name.

If someone posts as amother when posing a dilemma or asking for advice, I totally get that.

amother

Ivory

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:31 pm

So in addition to sometimes having personal anecdotes/info, admittedly, I've lately been using amother because I'm supposed to be taking a bit of a hiatus from imamother and I don't want anyone to know I'm cheating LOL

I know, super lame. But it has cut down on my posting significantly, because now I really think twice- if I can't really justify a particular post being anonymous, then I don't post.

amother

Taupe

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:35 pm

Seriously wrote:

I fully agree. I'm always afraid that people would go back to my posts and figure out who I am IRL. would love to get rid of button to see my previous posts!!

amother

Orchid

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:36 pm

amother wrote:

I know, super lame. But it has cut down on my posting significantly, because now I really think twice- if I can't really justify a particular post being anonymous, then I don't post.

Hi sweety,
Take your hiatus, and get off this site. You know you want to. It's good for you! We will welcome you back with open arms when you are ready.

[How's the application process going?]

Now, I don't know if I'm right, but if I am, do you now understand why people go anonymous?!

I'm posting anonymously to protect the privacy of my friend who I think I'm quoting. A lot of imamothers know each other in real life, and if I post under my screen name, people may figure out who she is.

relish

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:47 pm

Seriously wrote:

Anyone else for removing that button that allows one to read all previous posts?
What is the rationale of having this button?

I find it useful for certain things, but I would give those things up for the sake of everyone's privacy.
I actually reported one of the posts, offering the suggestion that moderators should still have that search option, but the regular posters should not.

Moderators need to be able to search previous posts to determine whether or not a poster requesting to join a private forum is a good match for the forum.

JoyInTheMorning

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 10:58 pm

Removing the "read all posts by <user>" button won't really help much. There are some posters who have very good memories, who can keep track of the information that a user posts, and who can therefore figure out who users are.

I have posted enough information about myself under my username that I feel that many people can figure out who I am. Therefore, if I have an issue that I want to keep private IRL, I'll post as amother.

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 11:00 pm

When someone posts as amother, you have the opportunity to consider her opinions without any prejudice. Amother puts ideas ahead of personalities, and I think that's a good thing.