I am in denial about YK. Like I was for RH.

rydys

Fri, Sep 29 2017, 9:51 am

amother wrote:

Thank-you for your input. I just feel that the little I do is dwarfed by the vast amount of awful things I have done this year.

This is exactly what I meant. You can't rectify everything overnight. Hashem does not expect that of you, either. The little step of being more careful with brachos is your "pesach chudo shel machat". the tip of a needle is miniscule, but the opening that allows further change. Taking that first step, then once you get used to it taking another tiny step and then another will get you further than you think.

I'll use a personal example. For many years, between work and kids, I did not have a chance to daven. On a good day, I'd say birchos hashachar, but honestly it didn't usually happen. A year ago I decided to try to say just birchos hashachar. I committed to it and really pushed myself to get up the 5 minutes earlier to have the time. I did this for 6 months. After 6 months, it was routine and easier for me so I added Shema. Just the first line and paragraph. By now I say birchos hashachar, shema, shemona esrei and aleinu. This is far from proper davening and I have a long way to go, but I'm working on it.

When you start big, you are doomed to failure. When you start small and take baby steps you can achieve big goals, but it takes time.

Mommyg8

Fri, Sep 29 2017, 9:56 am

I have always understood that women do not have to daven the entire davening, and especially if you are working/ have kids, there is a minimum that you MUST, and that's IT. I don't feel guilty at all if I don't daven the entire davening, etc., especially as I am over my head busy.

rydys

Fri, Sep 29 2017, 11:56 am

Mommyg8, you are right. I don't have a chiyuv and I don't feel guilty. My point in writing about what I did was not to imply that this is something I have to do, just to demonstrate how I decided to improve in one area and by taking small steps have been able to achieve a large part of my goal.

The OP was feeling that her one small step was no adequate to make up for all that she feels she is remiss in. I wanted to show her that what Hashem wants is for us to take that one small step, she does not need to do a sudden turn around and be perfect. That one small step, no matter how small, if that is all she is capable of doing now, is what Hashem is asking of her.

ssspectacular

Fri, Sep 29 2017, 2:51 pm

My children are grown now and things are so different. This stage passes and you will never regret having giving your best to them. It will be a source of comfort when you are older knowing that you were really THERE for them. Keep doing what you are doing with pride!