Reclaiming the hug button!!!

little neshamala

Thu, Sep 28 2017, 11:06 pm

Attention everybody!
Tonight is a very exciting night!
WAHOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tonight is the night that we take back the hug button for what it was originally intended for-as a way to give a HUG.
It was not meant to be a dislike button.
And im very tired of people having to question "hey, why did my post get a hug?"in an offended way.
Do you hug people in real life when you disagree with them? I dont. I actually love hugging people. I hug to comfort, and I hug to show love, I even hug people when super excited.
So from now on....
I will proudly use that hug button A LOT. I will use it to console, I will use it to comfort. I will use it when I am so so proud of something someone said. I will use it like a glorified high-five, like "youre so awesome! Way to go!".
And I hope you all join me.
Ladies, be warned-from now on, if your post got a hug, no worries. you can safely assume it was from me...and that it was a positive, safe, awesome, I love you!kind of hug.

So there.

#reclaim the hug!

LovesHashem

Fri, Sep 29 2017, 2:54 am

I see it not used a dislike button but more as a condescending pity hug. "oh you are so misguided and messed up cuz your opinion is wrong, so you need a hug"

If it was used as a dislike button I wouldn't care at all. That's life. Some one is always going to dislike you or your opinion. And there's always going to be someone that does like you and your opinion.

I would not be offended at all. The fact that it means I'm a nebach is quite a different feeling than just disagreement. In any case, most of the time the barbs back from other posters are much more hurtful than a bunch of mislocated hugs.

imasoftov

Fri, Sep 29 2017, 5:25 am

LovesHashem wrote:

I see it not used a dislike button but more as a condescending pity hug. "oh you are so misguided and messed up cuz your opinion is wrong, so you need a hug"

How can you tell that apart from plain dislike?

LovesHashem

Fri, Sep 29 2017, 6:38 am

imasoftov wrote:

How can you tell that apart from plain dislike?

To me it is clear. When a poster is
misguided" or has an unpopular opinion. A few decent example are:

- the three posters that were pushing tichels very much so. Hugs to them usually meant." oh nebach... Poor misguided/extermists/cannot think for themselves/in a cult women". That's what I feel...

- when someone writes a mean barb or a back and forth of barbs." nebach you need to say mean things to make yourself feel good"

- the misguided divorce OP. Hugs to her in my mind looked again like" nebach you misguided person... You need a hug". I didn't agrees with her, I do think she's misguided but pity and condescending words doesn't usually lead to greater understanding and growth.

- the recent threads that have turned into chasidim vs MO or chareidi vs MO with each other side pitying the other for being misguided and giving them hugs.

Instead of hugging" misguided" imamothers try to understand what world they come from and don't put them down for it. Clearly explain that you live in a different world and how you would react or see it instead of telling and hugs.

Debbie

Fri, Sep 29 2017, 6:52 am

I wondered why some ladies were bothered by the hug button;I got a couple of hugs recently when I mentioned something about my non Frum daughter, I just took it as other ladies being nice, perhaps even having empathy.
I've used the hug button myself but never as a dislike or to be condescending.

LovesHashem

Fri, Sep 29 2017, 7:30 am

Debbie wrote:

That's how it's supposed to be used. Its used for both. In your case there in no reason anyone would give you a condescending hug, it doesn't fit the context. So it's clear they were all giving empathy.

imasoftov

Fri, Sep 29 2017, 8:08 am

LovesHashem wrote:

It seems to me that my original question (How can you tell that apart from plain dislike?) can be asked about each of your examples. Even if there are multiple posters who replied expressing the sentiments that you feel the hugs represent, that doesn't mean that the huggers and the posters are the same people or feel the same way. Even if someone wrote "you need a hug" that doesn't mean that they gave one. Now if someone replied "I hugged you because" that would provide information about one hug, but still not about other hugs on the very same post, let alone thread.

little neshamala

Fri, Sep 29 2017, 8:13 am

Correct, the hug button has also been used as a pity-nebach hug for being misguided and "wrong" etc. But either as that, or a dislike button-it's being misused by some as a negative hurtful button.
And moving forward, it's just not.
If people use it in a negative way, the joke's on them because it will be interpreted in a positive light, because guess what we've taken it back.
I'm using it full force to comfort, encourage, show admiration, etc.

Blue jay

Fri, Sep 29 2017, 2:27 pm

I think there should be a "pareve" button, for those times when you sort of agree with what a poster has to say.

Also since this is Imamother, we should retitle the "hug" button to the "chabeck" button. It would be more heartfelt.

imasoftov

Tue, Feb 20 2018, 5:11 am

SuperWify wrote:

I think we should a add a dislike button instead of these PA hugs that you don’t know the real intention of the hugger.

That would be mean. Unlike how the hug button is used now. /sarcasm

weasley

Tue, Feb 20 2018, 7:08 am

imasoftov wrote:

That would be mean. Unlike how the hug button is used now. /sarcasm

I actually think saying you dislike what someone is saying is a lot nicer then the 'your thinking is screwed' way that people are using it for now.