He didn't keep y.k

amother

Mustard

Sat, Sep 30 2017, 3:37 pm

Struggling.
Ds19 went to shul for a bit today he said. Went out the rest of the day first for a walk then..... possibly to his OTD dad.
I can't say anything.
I need to be strong.
I knew he was going elsewhere before he left the house. Gave him a kiss and a hug and told him I love him.
I asked Hashem to spare him from being mechallel.....
I know it's not my fault.
I need to detach from it.
I pretend he did keep although I know he didn't.

Thanks for listening

amother

Black

Sat, Sep 30 2017, 3:47 pm

I feel for you... I am a bit in the situation. I am kinda sure my ds kept (fasted) but no idea where or if he went to a shul. Such is life. We have to show our love and more love. And then Daven...

amother

Mauve

Sat, Sep 30 2017, 4:00 pm

amother wrote:

You are not alone.
It is very hard.

amother

Mustard

Sat, Sep 30 2017, 5:03 pm

Repetition of his dad...... have been through it once with him now its Ds.

Hashem wants me to go through this pain.
I need to accept it.
HE forgives us and doesn't bear a grudge. I'm HIS daughter. I need to do the same for my Ds.
Didn't sit on my mouth as I should have Sad

I need to try better.

amother

Amber

Sat, Sep 30 2017, 7:14 pm

I wish there was something that I could say that would show you that I'm thinking of you. It sounds so very painful and I really admire the way you keep quiet and give him a hug. No judging. I'm amazed time and again with your strength.
Hashem should reward you amply x

amother

Burlywood

Sat, Sep 30 2017, 7:58 pm

As someone who has been there as a teen, I can tell you that even though it's a big deal to you it's not to him. And I know as a parent it hurts tremendously. But when your trying to figure yourself out and your life and your struggling, religion doesn't matter. Because you can't imagine it, it's hard. But when I was going through insane crazy hard stuff and my mental health was top priority, Yom Kippur was the last thing on my mind. Eating was terrible, but at that point I was just trying to survive.

Put yourself in his shoes. Imagine that every day was literally life and death. And you had to get through it. If you were running for your life, you wouldn't care that it happened to be Yom Kippur. He is so lost. See him. Praise him. Ignore the religion.

amother

Silver

Sat, Sep 30 2017, 8:19 pm

I have my own situation, I think this may be better on the rebellious teen forum, ask to be added if you're not on it.
I find responses from others going through the same situation more helpful.

InnerMe

Sat, Sep 30 2017, 10:31 pm

Hugs OP!! We're cheering you on here. You sound like an amazing loving mom - not taking out your pain on him. I can't even imagine the strength and restraint that takes.

Seas

Sat, Sep 30 2017, 10:34 pm

OP my heart goes out for you. This is the worst pain a Jewish parent could have. I can only wish you he should return to Hashem and may you find happiness in your life.

amother

Aquamarine

Sun, Oct 01 2017, 8:39 am

amother wrote:

I am so sorry this is so painful for you. That is wonderful that you showed him you love him. My son went to work on YK and then came home to his non Jewish wife and two dogs. And a pork chop dinner probably. I try not to think of it but it's not easy. Regular day for him. Keep your son close, and continue to do the great job you are doing. hugs, there are so many like you in your shoes it is so sad and not easy.

amother

Mustard

Mon, Oct 16 2017, 8:09 pm

amother wrote:

how did you cope with the pain??

amother

Seashell

Mon, Oct 16 2017, 8:20 pm

Seas wrote:

OP my heart goes out for you. This is the worst pain a Jewish parent could have. I can only wish you he should return to Hashem and may you find happiness in your life.

Actually, it isn't.

The worst pain a Jewish parent could have is when their child dies.

If your child is OTD but alive, count your brachos as hard as the pain may be.

grace413

Tue, Oct 17 2017, 2:22 am

amother wrote:

Actually, it isn't.

The worst pain a Jewish parent could have is when their child dies.

If your child is OTD but alive, count your brachos as hard as the pain may be.

This.