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How to avoid getting angry in the mornings



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amother
Pewter


 

Post Sun, Oct 01 2017, 3:15 pm
How can I avoid getting angry in he mornings, when my toddler wakes me up at 6:00 or 6:30 am, after I've been up many times during the night with my baby, and also wakes my nursing baby? I get sooooo frustrated with him. Gah!!! I feel so bad
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amother
Purple


 

Post Sun, Oct 01 2017, 3:39 pm
Following... for me that's a MAJOR anger trigger, waking a sleeping baby, when I know how hard it is to get baby to sleep!
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Sun, Oct 01 2017, 3:53 pm
Read this thread.

http://www.imamother.com/forum.....ashem

And hugs to the op of that thread.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Sun, Oct 01 2017, 4:40 pm
amother wrote:
Read this thread.

http://www.imamother.com/forum.....ashem

And hugs to the op of that thread.


I feel bad for her, but that doesn't really help me.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Sun, Oct 01 2017, 4:42 pm
amother wrote:
How can I avoid getting angry in he mornings, when my toddler wakes me up at 6:00 or 6:30 am, after I've been up many times during the night with my baby, and also wakes my nursing baby? I get sooooo frustrated with him. Gah!!! I feel so bad

He's going to wake you up and you need to accept that. He's a toddler.
Arrange things ahead of time so there's a way for him to stay occupied and quiet. You need go go to sleep earlier so you can get up in time for him and make sure the baby keeps sleeping.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Sun, Oct 01 2017, 4:46 pm
amother wrote:
Read this thread.

http://www.imamother.com/forum.....ashem

And hugs to the op of that thread.


What's the point of saying this? Yes we should all be at the level where we are grateful with what we have and never ever complain but guess what we are human.

Op you should be commended for trying to work on yourself and not get angry. Kudos to you! No advice cuz I'm in a Similar situation so I'm watching this topic.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Sun, Oct 01 2017, 4:47 pm
amother wrote:
He's going to wake you up and you need to accept that. He's a toddler.
Arrange things ahead of time so there's a way for him to stay occupied and quiet. You need go go to sleep earlier so you can get up in time for him and make sure the baby keeps sleeping.


It's not possible for me to go to sleep earlier.
I hear that I ne d to accept it. But HOW can I learn to accept it?
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Sun, Oct 01 2017, 4:54 pm
amother wrote:
What's the point of saying this.....


Because since I read that thread I have stopped myself from yelling at my own children at least 10 times. I thought it might help the op.

Everyone learns the lesson of not getting angry by different methods.

I never said that the op should never complain, or is not human. But if before you open your mouth to express anger, you think for 10 seconds - there is someone on this board who doesn't have her kids with her and would give anything to be able to be woken up by them again, I think it would dissipate some anger.

Of course YMMV.
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amother
Purple


 

Post Sun, Oct 01 2017, 6:44 pm
Some things I'm working on:

- Remembering that everything is by Hashgacha Pratis. Hashem controls the movement of a leaf, He certainly controls the movement of a toddler! Hashem WANTS my baby up now.
- I am in patience boot camp. Gotta do my best to make it through.
- Breathe using my diaphragm (you can tell you're doing that if your stomach goes IN by an inhale and OUT by an exhale).
- I will give the baby a nap later, in the stroller. Now is a pretty good time to get up, actually.
- B"H it is already past 6 am and not earlier!
- These two are so cute together!
- I will take a nap later. It's fine to be up now.
- I got the baby to sleep before, I can get the baby back to sleep. It's not as bad as it seems.
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believeit




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 02 2017, 4:09 am
Good for you. Patt your back, you are on the right track.

Try to replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. This helps a lot.

GL
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little_mage




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 03 2017, 2:57 am
I'm feeling much the same way this morning. My 3 year old was up twice overnight (which, to be fair, is unusual), and then my baby woke up just before five. I would have really liked more sleep. But instead, I'm getting to drink a nice cup of tea while I read imamother, which is a bit of a treat.

I think you do just have to resign yourself to getting up with your toddler. You don't say what your living space is like, but remove him as far away from the baby as you can as quickly as you can, so that at least hopefully the baby will keep sleeping. Also, you don't say where the children's father is. Could he take the toddler so you could either get some more sleep or at least devote your attention to the baby, so you aren't trying to deal with two children while still waking up?

Also, if you're a coffee drinker, maybe look into a coffee pot that you can set at night? My MIL has a machine that she sets the night before so the coffee is ready when she gets up. I'm not a coffee drinker, so I can't give you more details then that, but having caffeine ready may also be helpful.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Oct 03 2017, 3:54 am
Today I got up with him and did a load of laundry, and loaded the dishwasher. Now I'm having a huge coffee. I did not yell at him today. (Though I did talk tersely. ) progress.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Tue, Oct 03 2017, 4:20 am
amother wrote:
It's not possible for me to go to sleep earlier.
I hear that I ne d to accept it. But HOW can I learn to accept it?

Talk to yourself and repeat he's a toddler and his job is wake up early to play my job right now is to be his mother wake up with him and keep him entertained while the baby sleeps.
Laundry and coffee sound great.
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vicki




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 03 2017, 4:30 am
amother wrote:
It's not possible for me to go to sleep earlier.
I hear that I ne d to accept it. But HOW can I learn to accept it?

What worked for me when the kids were little and I wasn't sleeping and I was working full time was to know that at some point soon I'd be able to make up the sleep. Can you get a few hours on Shabbat afternoon when dh or someone else watches the toddler and either you sleep when the baby sleeps or feed the baby and go to sleep and dh will put him down for a nap? Or go in Friday night early and have dh put the toddler to sleep?

That was a life saver for me. I was able to psych myself through sleeplessness knowing a good (well... good enough) rest was coming up soon.
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studying_torah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 03 2017, 5:11 am
Can you leave a book or quiet toys near your toddler's bed so he can play quietly in the morning? Might take some time to get him used to it, but that was a lifesaver for me with early risers.
Can dh get up with the baby or toddler , so you can get some sleep?
Will he lay quietly in your bed for half an hour in the morning, while you doze?
Just giving some possible ideas, I also do not do well without enough sleep
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 03 2017, 9:05 am
I know this isn't hugely helpful but eventually, once your kids are school-age, you'll have to get up that early anyways. So learning how to cope now is a good move, since it'll just make it easier for you down the line (until you find yourself in a situation like mine, where you need to be up by 6:30 for your older kids but your toddler decided she wants to be up by 5 every day!)

You've gotten some good suggestions. My advice is to try and use that extra time in the morning to get things done or even better, do something for yourself. Anything that'll make the rest of your day smoother. Get a head start on dishes or cooking. Watch the sun rise with a cup of tea or coffee. Read a book you love but save only for those morning hours, so you'll have something to look forward to. But most of all, don't be too hard on yourself. We've all been there. This stage WILL pass. Hugs to you.
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