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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
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amother
Natural
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 Sun, Oct 08 2017, 5:51 am
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My daughter is in middle school and has a hard time making friends. I was a shy child so I am not sure how to encourage her in socializing with her classmates.
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seeker
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Sun, Oct 08 2017, 12:50 pm
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Could you bring in a professional to try to figure out what the source of the difficulty is?
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Boca00
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Sun, Oct 08 2017, 2:11 pm
What do her teachers think is the reason? Is she just shy and quiet, or is there a deeper reason? Is she trying to make friends and failing- or not even trying?
ETA- If its just a matter of shyness... People who are shy tend to do really well in smaller settings. Meaning, a sleepover with one girl, volunteering with a friend at the nursing home or hospital, doing chessed with one girl at a house full of kids or a house with special needs children....
If its a low self esteem issue, you can try building her up in areas where she can succeed (and meet other people)- like art lessons, drama club, dance or ballet...
And if she needs help with social skills, I believe that can be taught as well.
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RebekahsMom
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Sun, Oct 08 2017, 2:25 pm
My daughter has a hard time making friends (I also did as a child). The teachers told me “just because it’s what you want for them doesn’t mean it’s what she needs.” She is a bit special needs/ has trouble socializing. But she’s great with little kids or special needs. In my case, I liked books better than people.
Can you find any girls groups to join? Perhaps pick 1-2 people who would be a good fit and focus on them. Can the teachers sit her with a specific girl at lunch?
Sometimes it helps if you’re active in making friends- invite a girl out to Menchie’s, ask her what her interests are while (before the outing) encouraging your daughter to give positive comments (that sounds fun!) and share her interests.
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