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Damage to Another's Home (s/o Hosting Families)
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vicki




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 5:39 am
nacs wrote:
In Halacha, a parent is not responsible for the damages incurred by a child. However, hashkafically, if we are all concerned with the mitzvah of chinuch and raising children to be responsible and thoughtful adults who take ownership for mistakes and damages- How can we not go out of our way to make some kind of restitution?

The quoting of this lack of responsibility drives me crazy. (vehemently agreeing with the quoted poster)
While I understand Halacha says that a child, and by extension his parents are not responsible, it does NOT say that the child or the parents MUST NOT take financial responsibility. Simple common sense and menchlichkeit dictates that he who damages something should offer to make it right.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 7:02 am
amother wrote:
What about vomit on couches.
I had two incidents one with a child and one with a teenager on Purim (the parents were there).
Not one offered to pay to get the couches cleaned and I don't have the money to clean them professionally.
I cleaned it as well as I could but my family never wanted to sit on them after that. I have a problem with vomit as it is.


I've had vomit three times in my house from guests. Once it was on the couch - my couch is leather but underneath there's fabric - I used Melaleuca sol-u-mel and it totally got rid if the scent and my couch was as before.

I had a guest whose child threw up on the pink carpet of my guest room. It left a stain which did not come out even after I had the carpet professionally cleaned. They did not offer to pay.

Another time a guest's child vomited in my pack'n'play. The guest did not clean up the mess. I was so nauseated I threw out the pack'n'play and bought another one (cleaning up vomit is not one of my strong points - especially from another family's germs.)
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 7:06 am
nacs wrote:
In Halacha, a parent is not responsible for the damages incurred by a child. However, hashkafically, if we are all concerned with the mitzvah of chinuch and raising children to be responsible and thoughtful adults who take ownership for mistakes and damages- How can we not go out of our way to make some kind of restitution?


It's not so simple. Ask your LOR before assuming. In some situations, the parents might be responsible, like if they were supposed to be watching the child. Like a person whose animal damages someone else's property (not that I'm CH"V comparing kids to animals. Just the Halacha).

However I've had situations where my kid was invited to a playdate, and damage was done at friend's house where mother was not supervising. My Rav said I don't have to pay. If my child is invited to your house, I assume you are taking responsibility, and if I invite your child to my house, I supervise their activity.
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ValleyMom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 7:38 am
I once had a couple over and in the middle of the meal the woman stood up and carried the dining room chair she had been sitting in to our powder room. I ran to the door and asked her if she was ok and I heard a muffled "yes".

I thought it was strange.

Very strange.

About 10 minutes later she asked to speak with me privately. Apparently she was having a very heavy menstrual cycle and bled all over my white dining room chair. I looked at her and felt heartbroken for her. She was in tears and so ashamed. I hugged her and told her "It's just a chair- it can be cleaned don't worry about it."

The poor woman had scrubbed the chair in my bathroom.

I would never ever embarrass anyone.

Over the years my children have damaged property, nothing serious but I always offer to cover the cost of replacement or cleaning.

It's hard having kids, things break or get stained...
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