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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Succos
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amother
White
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 Sat, Oct 14 2017, 9:22 pm
Every year it's the same. Hoping to gain something spiritual out of the chag, but it still just comes down to all the shopping , cooking, cooking more, breaking up fights etc. I probably could escape for a shiur, but I have no interest. If I have a free moment, I just want to sit and do nothing and catch my breath.
Those of you who actually FEEL the chag, how do you do it??!!!
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amother
Red
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Sat, Oct 14 2017, 10:14 pm
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A lot of quality time with my daughter
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Rachel Shira
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Sat, Oct 14 2017, 10:20 pm
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Nothing to do specifically with Sukkos, but my husband and I had a bit of a negative experience together on Yom tov that led to a positive breakthrough conversation that was important to have.
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thunderstorm
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Sat, Oct 14 2017, 10:21 pm
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I actually enjoyed meeting people at shul and socializing. I also hosted people I've never met and I had an amazing experience.
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amother
Mustard
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Sat, Oct 14 2017, 10:37 pm
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When I read the op, I was jarred. I don't think I did gain anything besides a few pounds. I had a nice Yom tov, but did I gain anything?
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amother
Goldenrod
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Sat, Oct 14 2017, 10:57 pm
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I think for most of us yomtov means cooking, cleaning, kids off from school, lots of eating and sitting around, pressure to look right and fit in on simchas torah, and desperately looking forward for my kids to get back to school. Is it really possible to view it diffetently?
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amother
Indigo
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 2:03 am
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Nothing good. I learned when pushed into a corner when my husband has to choose to stand us for his wife or mother, he picked her. For years I avoided going there because I knew it would destroy me when he voiced this out loud. And now he did. And I don’t know how to continue on.
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amother
Powderblue
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 2:51 am
No phone. No ima... little socializing. Nothing good ro read. So... this left me with lots of time to think. I gained clarity. Lots of it. At least I realised how confused I am.  
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amother
Lemon
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 3:36 am
| amother wrote: | | I think for most of us yomtov means cooking, cleaning, kids off from school, lots of eating and sitting around, pressure to look right and fit in on simchas torah, and desperately looking forward for my kids to get back to school. Is it really possible to view it diffetently? |
Not everyone feels pressure to look right and fit in. Where do you live? Can you move?
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LovesHashem
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 4:21 am
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Since I've moved to Israel suddenly simchas torah is about the love of torah and not candy. 🍫🍬 it's really inspiring.
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amother
Coral
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 6:12 am
| LovesHashem wrote: | | Since I've moved to Israel suddenly simchas torah is about the love of torah and not candy. 🍫🍬 it's really inspiring. |
BH we have both.
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ssspectacular
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 6:49 am
This post shook me up. I couldn't think of a single thing I gained!
So, I went back to a shiur I heard by Reb. Faige Twerski and this is what I gained:
Our culture doesn't value our role unfortunately, but we are extremely powerful and significant. We are part of thousands of years of mothers creating the Jewish home. We are creating memories for our families. We are creating safety for our families. The aromas in the kitchen have POWER. The challas on the counter have POWER. The Shabbos table has POWER. The sukkah has POWER.
The impact we make on the world is truly significant. It is all a matter of PERSPECTIVE. We can rise above the messy kitchen, sticky floors and SEE who we are!!
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livinginflatbus
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 8:25 am
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Things can stay mundane like the cooking cleaning unless u make an effort not to
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Aylat
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 9:00 am
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I really enjoyed being in shul. We go to a carlebach minyan and I was really moved by all the singing for the special yom tov tefillot. I also felt connected to the other women of the community - the teen girls, young singles, busy mothers and older women. Those in shul first thing, those coming in towards the end, those coming in and out when they can manage. I was especially moved by seeing mothers davening next to their tween daughters like I was and remembering davening next to my mother as a child. I even connected to the beauty of all the colourful shabbat and yom tov clothes and how special it feels that we dress up in our best for these special days.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 9:09 am
What I have gained? A lot more expenses on my c/card. 
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Culturedpearls
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 9:16 am
Weight, definitely.
It wasn’t easy but extra cleaning help made hosting & going to shul possible & yes meaningful.
I had more time with the kids & daavening in shul on RH & Yom Kippur was nice.
I do feel that my avoda is setting the right tone in the home & making Yontif an exciting experience for the kids.
Making gourmet dishes & hosting most meals is a big part of that.
In that sense I feel that I succeeded.
Now how can I loose that weight?
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amother
White
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 9:54 am
| livinginflatbus wrote: | | Things can stay mundane like the cooking cleaning unless u make an effort not to |
Gee, thanks. Like I didn't know that. So what kind of effort do u do to make it not mundane?
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amother
Red
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 9:57 am
| amother wrote: | | Gee, thanks. Like I didn't know that. So what kind of effort do u do to make it not mundane? |
What would make you feel like you gained something? For example, I wrote that I gained quality time with my daughter. Maybe next yt I can make a goal for myself to spend more quality time with my son as well... now that I think about it. So for me, that would make me me feel like I gained something. What would you like to gain and then perhaps we can help you achieve that?
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malky12
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 10:22 am
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we all gained a lot, even we are not feeling it, we believe that Yom Kipur is Mechaper for everyone
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amother
Cobalt
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Sun, Oct 15 2017, 12:00 pm
I never considered YT an obligation to “gain” anything, but it’s a great time to visit and spend time with dc who live elsewhere, enjoy the dgc, daven in shuls other than my own...as an empty nester, getting together with my children is very much my definition of visomachtoh bichagechoh.
I briefly watched hakofos at what was supposed to be the best place in town . To me it was boring, but I was mildly entertained by all the posted notices admonishing women about everything from not clustering near the entrances to getting the heck out of Dodge City as soon as hakofos ended.
Less amusing and more seriously disturbing was the blatant and widespread disregard for safety regulations. It was YT so I couldn’t photograph the sign saying “Fire Department regulations prohibit storage of strollers, bicycles, toys or any other items anywhere in the lobby, hallway or stairs or in front of exits”...right above a giant pile of strollers in the lobby. I’m not even sure how you’d get your stroller out if it’s in the back. If
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