My daughter is in israel seminary I need advice

susan11230

Tue, Oct 17 2017, 9:21 pm

I need advice from experienced parents who send their daughter to seminary,
My daughter went this year to a seminary that she chose because she heard that its a good seminary that is more open minded a little more modern then a typical Beis yaacov .
Now she is there and is complaining to me that the girls there are very modern that they hang out a lot in town with boys , or have boy friends and that she doesn't feel like she belongs there that she is more frummer then them and that its not for her. she told me that she spoke with 2 other girls in the seminary who feel the same way.
I don't know what to advice her in one side I don't want her to quit , I did my research about the seminary before we decided to send her and heard only great things about it , she told me that she only gets this year once and be inspired and shes afraid she will make bad friends and bad decisions and that she will be unhappy and come back the same level that she is now not grow., She feels like the girls who came to the seminary to become a certain level and that she is already on that level that she needs more then that.
I adviced her to go talk to one of her teachers and ask them what she should do , what else can I tell her . did any of you have such an expeipience with your daughter and what did you do.

amother

Vermilion

Tue, Oct 17 2017, 9:29 pm

I have no experience of this except when I went to Israel as a BT post college the place I chose initially was also not frum enough and I switched.

What you write is actually fantastic and wonderful. She doesn't want to mix with bad people. Wow. So many parents DREAM of such a beautiful child. Help her to switch to a more appropriate place.

***this is NOT quitting!!!!***

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Oct 17 2017, 9:57 pm

Its not quitting to change schools to one that is more appropriate to your needs.
This year happens only once and your daughter is not wrong in how she feels.
Some girls come to Israel to party which can often include male friends.
She doesn't need to be in a toxic environment that is a threat to her ruchniyus.
As her mom, I would help her choose another place.
There are plenty of good schools there that are "open minded" without being so open for the girls to be out partying like that.
Lots of luck!!

amother

Beige

Tue, Oct 17 2017, 9:58 pm

She is right. She does not belong there. Switch her out. You don't want her to be among girls who have friends that are boys.

quote="susan11230"]I need advice from experienced parents who send their daughter to seminary,
My daughter went this year to a seminary that she chose because she heard that its a good seminary that is more open minded a little more modern then a typical Beis yaacov .
Now she is there and is complaining to me that the girls there are very modern that they hang out a lot in town with boys , or have boy friends and that she doesn't feel like she belongs there that she is more frummer then them and that its not for her. she told me that she spoke with 2 other girls in the seminary who feel the same way.
I don't know what to advice her in one side I don't want her to quit , I did my research about the seminary before we decided to send her and heard only great things about it , she told me that she only gets this year once and be inspired and shes afraid she will make bad friends and bad decisions and that she will be unhappy and come back the same level that she is now not grow., She feels like the girls who came to the seminary to become a certain level and that she is already on that level that she needs more then that.
I adviced her to go talk to one of her teachers and ask them what she should do , what else can I tell her . did any of you have such an expeipience with your daughter and what did you do.[/quote]

amother

Oak

Tue, Oct 17 2017, 10:18 pm

If you have her switch, how would it work financially? Didn't you sign a contract committing to pay her current seminary for the full year? If she switches, would you end up having to pay double, which is quite a lot of money, and can you afford to do so?

allthingsblue

Tue, Oct 17 2017, 10:22 pm

I went to a seminary where many (not all) girls had boyfriends. I made friends with those who were more my type, and avoided the party type girls. I made lifelong friends and grew a tremendous amount in addition to learning how to stick to my values despite challenges.