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Ami Human Experience: Mindy is a hypocrite!!!



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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Sun, Oct 22 2017, 7:38 pm
Mindy is a rich girl. She is dating Eli. After nine dates, Mindy's father gets arrested. So Eli breaks up without speaking to Mindy.

Two years later: Mindy's father is cleared and is innocent. Eli is still single and asks for a second chance with Mindy. Mindy says no, because Eli didn't give her a second chance when her father was arrested.

If the tables were turned, you bet that Mindy would have done the same thing Eli did. Everyone speaks Loshon Hora without verifying the facts. Get real.
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LovesHashem




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 1:01 am
How do you know? Mindy does not seem spoiled from the story. She sounded mature.
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amother
Red


 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 1:06 am
To me it seemed like he was after her money and good name .
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Chloe22




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 4:44 am
I think Mindy did the right thing. I'd be concerned that Eli would bail again in another tough situation.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 4:53 am
I haven’t read the story, but based on the few facts you posted here, I would have scorned him too. She’s not a dust rag a man can pick up when it suits him and discard when he feels like it. And if she meant so little to him that he would dump her without a word because of something she had no control over and that had nothing to do with her, who needs him? There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

In fact a guy dumped me after dating for about a year. He would have disappeared without a word —the term ghosting hadn’t been invented but that’s more or less what it was—had I not confronted him and demanded an explanation. Several years later he called me up to ask me out. I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time and hadn’t been for longer than I liked but you better believe I graded him NI—Not Interested. In retrospect he was probably not being evil, just cowardly and immature, but who wants a cowardly and immature guy?

In the long run he did me a favor by both leaving and reappearing. If he hadn’t left I might have married him. By reappearing he gave me a chance to prove to myself that I had some backbone and self-respect and wasn’t so desperate to have a social life that I would go out with anyone and accept anything. It’s a good thing to know.

I wonder OP why you have such a bitter attitude towards the heroine, as I assume she is, of this story. From your sketch she sounds like a girl who has her head on straight. , ,
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amother
Lime


 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 5:02 am
amother wrote:


I wonder OP why you have such a bitter attitude towards the heroine, as I assume she is, of this story... , ,


An astute question.

Worth asking, op. Even if the answer is "nothing- stop over analysing me". No need to post the answer here if you don't want.
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LovesHashem




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 6:54 am
Amother jade, that was exactly what Mindy said in the story. She was grateful she was given a chance to see his true colors.

Maturity.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 7:12 am
amother wrote:
I haven’t read the story, but based on the few facts you posted here, I would have scorned him too. She’s not a dust rag a man can pick up when it suits him and discard when he feels like it. And if she meant so little to him that he would dump her without a word because of something she had no control over and that had nothing to do with her, who needs him? There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

In fact a guy dumped me after dating for about a year. He would have disappeared without a word —the term ghosting hadn’t been invented but that’s more or less what it was—had I not confronted him and demanded an explanation. Several years later he called me up to ask me out. I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time and hadn’t been for longer than I liked but you better believe I graded him NI—Not Interested. In retrospect he was probably not being evil, just cowardly and immature, but who wants a cowardly and immature guy?

In the long run he did me a favor by both leaving and reappearing. If he hadn’t left I might have married him. By reappearing he gave me a chance to prove to myself that I had some backbone and self-respect and wasn’t so desperate to have a social life that I would go out with anyone and accept anything. It’s a good thing to know.

I wonder OP why you have such a bitter attitude towards the heroine, as I assume she is, of this story. From your sketch she sounds like a girl who has her head on straight. , ,

She did the right thing and came from a place of maturity.
I had a similar experience. Our relationship had gotten to the point where we had plans for what was to come and he ghosted me. I was heartbroken and it took me many months to get back to myself. When I was finally ok and moving on he came back to ask if I'd be willing to try it again. I was seriously conflicted because he hurt me deeply and I wasn't sure I could go through that again. But we had a real connection when we were together so I put some boundaries in place and did end up seeing him again. His true colors came through and I was able to have closure. Even if I was heartbroken and jaded I was really lucky that he showed his true colors because personality and chemistry wise we were compatible and I would have married had he not acted this way.
I am so grateful I met my husband.
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 12:17 pm
Op here. Maybe I was wrong about Mindy.
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Librarian




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 2:41 pm
I actually had a discussion with my husband on Shabbos over this article. Reflecting my stage in life, I did not look at this story from the perspective of Mindy or Avi but from a parent's point of view. If I am very honest, I could not imagine allowing my son to continue this shidduch. I would hope that I would have consulted Das Torah on how to break it off properly.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Mon, Oct 23 2017, 5:56 pm
Really, librarian? You would penalize a fine, innocent young woman because her father was ACCUSED—falsely, as it happens—of a crime? I thought our religion prides itself on not punishing children for the sins of their fathers?
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LovesHashem




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 24 2017, 12:14 am
amother wrote:
Really, librarian? You would penalize a fine, innocent young woman because her father was ACCUSED—falsely, as it happens—of a crime? I thought our religion prides itself on not punishing children for the sins of their fathers?


It's a test. She is being honest that she doesn't think she'd be able to pass it.
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