I couldn’t post anonymously so starting a new thread

amother

Beige

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 3:53 pm

(This is in response to maryann’s question about the metoo movement. I will not post under my username simply because I know I will get a ton of flak for this and just not interested in dealing with it under my username.)

Me too is campaign bring awareness to s-xual harassment, but has turned into many women who’ve never actually been harassed crying over an immature sexist comment. There. I said it. And ftr I’ve been harassed. But when my husband and his friends make immature and annoying s-xual innuendo comments, that’s exactly what it is. Immature and annoying. Not harassment.

And btw, I hate that my husband is like that and hate that I married a guy like that and will hate if my son turns out like that. BUT it is not s-xual harassment.

Bring on the rage.

Kiwi13

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 4:04 pm

I tend to agree with a lot of this. The only issue I have with it is that people have different sensitivities and thresholds for what disturbs them, makes them feel violated, and to what degree.

There are some things that will always, always be classified as “abuse” and “violence,” and there are some things that 90% of people will say “get over yourself,” but there are many, many more things in the gray area.

I’m not suggesting that immature comments be punished or dealt with in the same way as assault. As far as I’m concerned, the “me too” compaign is very vague and open ended, giving anyone and everyone a chance to speak their truth. Does that mean all offenses are equal, of course not. But the hurricane in Texas doesn’t make my neighbor’s leaky ceiling in Ohio any easier to deal with.

I posted on the original “me too” thread about an experience of being cornered in a women’s bathroom with a couple of friends as a teen, by a much older man who scared the living daylights out of us with his inappropriate behavior. But I shared it anecdotally as part of a side conversation. I do not consider that to be cause for me saying, “me too.” Why? Because I honestly don’t feel it was especially traumatic beyond that first day or two when it happened and until all this “me too” talk came around, I hadn’t even thought about it in many, many years. But that’s me. It’s possible that one of the other girls involved was affected more dramatically and WOULD consider it to be “me too.”

All I’m saying is that people’s experiences differ. I doubt anyone is playing the comparison game with this campaign. And if they are, they completely missed the point.