How often do you feel deveykus to HKBH?

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 5:18 am

How do you come to a place of acceptance? I am ok with traumatic, difficult events that happen from time to time. But it is the everyday struggle of life- knowing that my teenager's physical attacks and hollering will give my younger children a bad day, or make someone late to work, or make me so frazzled that I can't do what I have to do- when this happens I tell myself over and over to accept it as Hashem's will right in the moddle of trying to get help for things to change, but inevitably I am afraid of the situation and I cannot (yet), accept it. How do u get there?

crust

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 6:18 am

amother wrote:

Acceptance is not the only place to find Hashem.
You are so normal to be afraid! Tell Hashem how afraid you are. In your own words say; Hashem I am petrified of this child. I am afraid of the damage he is doing to my other children. I am exhausted from this. Thats Dveykus!
Did Hashem give you any insight on how to handle the situation? Whom to consult with? That's Hashem!
I know I know- I would also like to see Hashem more openly. I would like to feel connected through things that make me feel good not through some horrible things happening.
But I dont think HE wants you sitting there trying to come to a place of acceptance while there is a storm going on in your house.
When the situation is so unsettling it is not the time to come to a place of acceptance. It is a time to take action. Hashem is with you in the actions you take.
The only thing you can accept is that now is the time to have dveykus and connection in a different format.

Having said all that- may I ask if you have help to handle the situation? No mitzva to keep this a secret or try to do things alone. Reach out asap.
Good luck

Last edited by crust on Wed, Nov 01 2017, 8:35 am; edited 1 time in total

thunderstorm

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 8:20 am

I actually feel dveykus stronger when I struggle and suffer. Growing up I had a very strong connection to Hashem. I didn't have a father to turn to so I turned to Hashem , my other father instead. I felt him holding my hand and giving me hugs.
Then I got married and life got easier for me . And I didn't turn to him as much. I often notice that when I don't have that "connection" it's because things are going good and then suddenly bad things begin happening. I find myself say "Hashem really loves me" when I suffer. Because I honestly feel Hashem wants me to turn to him. If things are going good and I put him out of my mind, he makes sure to "remind " that he still exists and doesn't like to be ignored. He wants a relationship with me and wants me to come back to him crying. Can anyone relate to this?

amother

Orange

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 11:35 am

amother wrote:

Daven daven daven the dveykus comes

This, a million times over. My experience with the challenges in my life: when I don't daven, the challenges are overwhelming, and I feel so distanced from Hashem, which makes me cry from depression. When I daven and cry out, I am comforted and feel Hadhem's presence immediately. And the solutions come pouring in, not always on my time table, but the more I daven, the more they come. All of life is to humble us, to teach us "Ain of milvado.". Op, if you go it alone, without tefillah, you really ARE missing the point of your challenges. If you include Hashem in your challenges, you are instantly humbled and connected, which will open pathways of bracha to come pouring in. Please read anything inspiring on tefillah and deveikus that you can, I strongly recommend the life changing Sefer "Shearim b'tefillah" by Rav Shimshon Pincus.

amother

Orange

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 11:38 am

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

Yes I relate to this, and I did not have a father other than my Tatte in Hummel growing up either. Like you, marriage was salvation, but it does sometimes make me complacent. Tzaros come always in the times of complacency, and there are sources to back this up...the imahos were baren so thy would daven, because Hashem desired connection with them so much "Hashem misaveh tefilasam shel tzadikim"

PurpleandGold

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 11:46 am

amother wrote:

I have found my major times of acceptance, when I literally feel a spiritual shift from me fighting against life, to me accepting Hashem's will, are during tefillah. I think being accepting of Hashem's will in the moment is worthy, but the internal work during tefillah raises your madreigah and makes you prepared to petition the King to change your situation.

A tried and true method of prayer - to THANK Hashem for your hard challenges, "Hashem I don't understand why You give me such and such, but I know it's good for me because it's from You, my beloved Father.". And then to beg for the solution. Please find a moment when you can say tehillim and do this internal work, I think you really will feel the closeness and intimate connection to Hashem that you're craving.

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 12:52 pm

Thank you all for your replies. Crust you made me cry. In a good way. Are you from a certain chassidus? Would you be willing to share which one? I would like to be able to have your outlook of kindness toward others.

To those who talked about davening: What really struck me was you say to thank HKBH for the tests. I tend to do the opposite - wail "please Hashem make it all go away.". Can you explain how and when you daven? In your own words or from a sidda? Do you have set times for your or just as things come up? And do you physically say the words, whisper them, holler them, or just think them?

LovesHashem

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 1:08 pm

amother wrote:

I do all of that. I also write letters to GD, poetry, songs, I sing to him, scream at him... etc.