Is it normal for my 19 month old to smack me and DH?

shariy

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 1:01 pm

My 19 month old is an adorable well behaved child but for some reason he smacks me and my husband in the face and then gives us a hug and kiss it’s funny how he apologizes in his own way after but I don’t want him to think this a good thing and it won’t be so funny any more if he continues doing this... I’ve tried putting him in his crib calmly for like 3 min with his door closed and he hates it and gets the message then but an hour later he’s doing it again! Is this normal for a child his age is he too young to discipline? Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.

Blessing1

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 1:20 pm

It's pretty normal for this age, though every time he does it you should make a stern face and gently tell him on his level that he can't hit. Repeat it over calmly every time he does it.
At this age he won't get the message why you're putting him in his crib, he's too young to connect it with anything.

STMommy

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 1:22 pm

1. totally normal
2. don't smile or in any way indicate you think what he's doing is cute or funny when he hugs and kisses to apologize - instead you should frown and say Ouch! That hurt Mommy! I don't like that!
3. he gets the message but an hour later it is normal for a child not to remember the discipline nor connect it to what he did. So every time he does it repeat #2 so at least it isn't becoming a game

weasley

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 1:56 pm

I have a child that age and when he smacks me I sternly say ' no smacking' and take him off my knee. When he asks to come up I take him while telling him were not allowed to smack and be gentle and take his arm to do 'nice' on my cheek.

I wouldn't say he's stopped completely but there's definitely been a huge improvement.

crust

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 2:33 pm

Is it normal for a 19 month old to smack anyone? Yes it is.
What to do about it? Here is where chinuch starts. Chinuch means 'conditioning'. You take his hand away and say no. Be repetitious. Over and over. And then again.
And I agree with pp that he has no idea what that crib time out is about.
Time out works when the child is very verbal and comprehensive of explanations already.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 2:53 pm

Please dont put your baby in a crib for time outs. He is way to young and its developmentally inappropriate chinuch. If it is really bothering you, just don't reinforce the behavior and distract your baby. Enjoy your baby and his cute antics:)

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 2:59 pm

Btw I wanted to add that even if your baby was older and you wanted to implement a time out. ( Which I am not advocating at all, as there are much better ways to help your child.) The appropriate way is a time out that is a minute per age. ( So a three minute time out would work for a 3 year old not a 19 month old baby.) Good Luck!

WastingTime

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 3:25 pm

I think some 19 month olds can be mature enough to have some understanding of a time out. But instead of a proper time out, you can put them on the couch and say 'we don't hit mommy' and leave them there and not give them attention for a few minutes. I have had kids at that age that seemed to understand that they did something wrong

Kiwi13

Wed, Nov 01 2017, 3:47 pm

I would tell him “ouch, no!” in a calm tone that communicates this isn’t a game. And then try to move on to something else quickly and praise his next good action. Or you can also tell him, “gentle touches,” in a calm voice and demonstrate what that looks like by gently patting his hand. And again, move on quickly to a positive interaction.

These are things that worked pretty well most of the time with my son at that age. Dwelling too much on the “no” or the stern faces usually backfired because he found it funny somehow and it turned into a game for him. The more upset I got/acted, the funnier he found it and the more he misbehaved. It worked a lot better to give as little attention as possible to the hitting and move on to praising and reinforcing other, more positive behaviors.

All that said, at this age they’re still very young and just figuring out the basics. You should be as consistent as you can, but be patient and know it won’t always “work.”

amother

Olive

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 9:57 am

I don't think time-outs is ever effective for any age. It doesn't teach the child that the bad behavior is wrong it just shows them that they are not deserving of your presence then and that your love for them is conditional.
Enjoy your cute toddler and its never to early to start teaching them by saying that we cannot smack, although their brains are too immature for them to remember and it is very normal for them to continue doing so.