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-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
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amother
Puce
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 Sun, Nov 05 2017, 11:01 pm
I think it's beautiful that the schools want to teach middos.
But mitzvah notes drive me crazy.
They're always written after the fact, when we're trying to come up with something to write. [Usually, when we're already running late for the bus in the morning.] Iow, the mitzvah note does nothing to encourage the behavior.
It's just one more thing I have to remember to do.
Wondering how other moms feel.
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amother
Mint
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Sun, Nov 05 2017, 11:07 pm
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mitzva notes do not need to be an every day thing. as a matter of fact, it shouldn't be
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creditcards
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Sun, Nov 05 2017, 11:08 pm
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I used to bribe my kids with mitzvah notes. I promised her a note if she put on pajamas fast...it helped me a lot of times. But it's also a pain, when you are rushing your kid to the bus. I didn't give her one every day. So the bribe worked.
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zohar
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Sun, Nov 05 2017, 11:09 pm
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I have a hard time remembering to write them, and I feel bad for my kids, but my daughter's morah explained that it's not too bribe kids to be good but rather to give them some positive attention in school. They feel so good about themselves. She suggested to write mitzvah notes that tell a story that the most can ask questions about such as "Ploni played so nicely with his cousins at this aunt's wedding" Now morah can ask Ploni, "tell me about the wedding. Did you see the kallah? What did you wear. Etc."
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Blessing1
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Sun, Nov 05 2017, 11:10 pm
They make a big deal out of it in school, child gets a sticker & they have a "mitzva shopping cart" sign they put it into. And it makes the kids so happy, so why not?
If you have to come up with things to write, how about jotting down when they do a mitzva?
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flowerpower
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Sun, Nov 05 2017, 11:12 pm
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I write them the night before. Why do it in the morning rush? I remember a nice thing they did over shabbos and write about it. I have the child stand near me while I write it and I let him/ her know how proud I am.
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amother
Puce
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Sun, Nov 05 2017, 11:21 pm
| amother wrote: | | mitzva notes do not need to be an every day thing. as a matter of fact, it shouldn't be |
Was given a chart to fill in for the week. And now I realize I stopped filling in a few days ago so here I am trying to come up with things 
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amother
Smokey
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Sun, Nov 05 2017, 11:22 pm
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You write them up the night before. The kid feels good and from a teacher's point of view you're not a neglectful mother.
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amother
Puce
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Sun, Nov 05 2017, 11:24 pm
| zohar wrote: | | I have a hard time remembering to write them, and I feel bad for my kids, but my daughter's morah explained that it's not too bribe kids to be good but rather to give them some positive attention in school. They feel so good about themselves. She suggested to write mitzvah notes that tell a story that the most can ask questions about such as "Ploni played so nicely with his cousins at this aunt's wedding" Now morah can ask Ploni, "tell me about the wedding. Did you see the kallah? What did you wear. Etc." |
Interesting. Because I davka don't like using them as an incentive. I wonder if most morahs view them like that?
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dancingqueen
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Sun, Nov 05 2017, 11:30 pm
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Thanks for reminding me to write some for tomorrow!
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amother
Puce
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Sun, Nov 05 2017, 11:32 pm
| amother wrote: | | You write them up the night before. The kid feels good and from a teacher's point of view you're not a neglectful mother. |
True, I can write them the night before. Along with doing the older kids' hwk which is 2 1/2 hours every night, preparing lunches and snacks for the next day, laying out clean clothing, and of course, serving supper and snacks in between.
Mitzvah notes alone are not a big deal. But with everything else, I find it annoying to just have one more thing to keep track of.
Especially when I'm having trouble seeing their value.
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seeker
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Sun, Nov 05 2017, 11:46 pm
I like them, I think there is a lot of good that can come from it. But I am terribly forgetful and often worry that my child may feel deprived if the other kids' mothers are more on top of things If not for this thread I would have completely forgotten AGAIN. My kid is B"H a wonderful child who needs positive reinforcement at least as much as anyone else but she probably gets mitzvah notes less often than anyone else because I just have this mental block.
You're not supposed to do it every day. The teachers have always even told us this directly. They would go crazy if they had to read 15 mitzvah notes every day, and it would be even worse for the kid who doesn't have one when everyone else does. If everyone sends them in randomly, averaging 1-2 a week, then each day they end up reading a small handful of notes and it's not as obvious who has more or less.
You can use it to reinforce positive behavior even if you don't use it as a bribe. I do both... when I remember. I wouldn't phrase it in a bribe-y way like "if you do it then you'll get a mitzvah note" but more like "OK, Sara, it's 6:30! Hurry into pajamas so I can write the mitzvah note!" or "Hm, what mitzvah note should we write today? I know, let's tell Morah how nicely you daven! Go daven and then I'll write about it."
A morah once gave us this tip at orientation - she said pick the things the child is struggling with to write a mitzvah note about, and she'll take that as a signal to work on that topic more in school. I think that was a smart move by the teacher. I wrote things like "So-and-so is working so hard to make shalom with her sister! We are so proud" and now the teacher knows that making shalom would be a good thing to reinforce in this child.
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amother
Crimson
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Mon, Nov 06 2017, 12:09 am
In my younger days I struggled with this issue as I'm not such an organized person. So we sat down at the computer and created notes for several things we wanted to encourage e.g. cleaning up toys, going to bed nicely, sharing with sibling.
Then I illustrated them with little clip art pictures or things I drew in Paint.
Then I printed out a bunch and cut them up. So I had something handy to pull out & insert into briefcase as appropriate.
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BH5745
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Mon, Nov 06 2017, 4:15 am
| amother wrote: | True, I can write them the night before. Along with doing the older kids' hwk which is 2 1/2 hours every night, preparing lunches and snacks for the next day, laying out clean clothing, and of course, serving supper and snacks in between.
Mitzvah notes alone are not a big deal. But with everything else, I find it annoying to just have one more thing to keep track of.
Especially when I'm having trouble seeing their value. |
Agree completely. At my childrens' shools in Eretz Yisroel mitzvah notes are not a thing anymore (thank G-d), but I remember those nights where I had so much to do and was already exhausted from the day. Those little things like mitzvah notes that should only take 2 minutes (but in reality take 10) were like the icing on the cake.
And worse yet, if you forget to fill out the mitzvah note your child gets upset and the Morah sends YOU a note reminding you 
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Ruchel
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Mon, Nov 06 2017, 4:17 am
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I don't like them because I didn't grow up with them. BH I don't do them ever. As a teacher I also know some kids will have them and some won't.
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salt
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Mon, Nov 06 2017, 4:45 am
It is sometimes a pain to write it in a rush in the morning, but I like them because they make my kids so happy.
If it helps, you don't always have to think of a particular thing that your DC did that previous day. I often write things like "X says brachot nicely" "X tidies her toys away" - even if they didn't do it that day, if they do it most of the time I write it.
What I don't like is that they get a toffee when they bring a note.
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salt
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Mon, Nov 06 2017, 5:03 am
| amother wrote: | In my younger days I struggled with this issue as I'm not such an organized person. So we sat down at the computer and created notes for several things we wanted to encourage e.g. cleaning up toys, going to bed nicely, sharing with sibling.
Then I illustrated them with little clip art pictures or things I drew in Paint.
Then I printed out a bunch and cut them up. So I had something handy to pull out & insert into briefcase as appropriate. |
I love that idea - you say you're not organized? That is SUPER organized!
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cm
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Mon, Nov 06 2017, 6:02 am
Our school does mitzvah notes once a week, on Friday with the "Shabbat" themed circle time. It sets the tone for reviewing good things from the previous week and looking forward to another week of mitzvot.
It's a nice thing to do, but I could see how it could feel onerous for the parents if it were more than once a week, and awkward all around if some kids have many notes and others very few, which might happen if it were a daily task which some parents would skip, or if parents are only sending them "whenever."
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zaq
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Mon, Nov 06 2017, 6:34 am
Love them. Of course done at night, not just as the kid is going out the door. Of course not fabricated. You can always find something, even if only in the negative: Chaimke did not pull his sister’s hair today! Leahleh did her reading tonight without complaining!
Of course you don’t view it like a homework assignment you resent, or what’s the point? Your kid will sense your atttitude. This is supposed to be a treat you give your child as a reward.Especially for a child who doesn’t exactly shine in school, this gives him something to feel good about. You may not be able to give him A’s on his report card but you can do this.
If you dedicate a small pad (maybe one of those memo cubes of brightly colored paper) and a pen and always keep them together in a handy location (maybe a ziplock bag in the kitchen cabinet next to the coffee) the job really does take just a minute. If it takes you ten, you’re making entirely too much of it.
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thunderstorm
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Mon, Nov 06 2017, 6:55 am
A few of my kids rebbeim requested we send Mitzvah notes but not more than once or twice a week so that it doesn't take away from its chashivus.
I like sitting and writing Mitzvah notes. It's a time I sit with my child and we go through all the wonderful things he's done. Its a positive experience for both me and my kid.
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