Her hair is (one of) her problem! WTD?

amother

Magenta

Mon, Nov 06 2017, 11:08 pm

amother wrote:

I didn't read through the rest of the replies, just wanted to add one more thing. Not sure it's related, but her hair is definitely getting thinner. Lots fall out in the shower or bath. It was always on the thinner side, but I think it looks even more so recently...

Sounds like she's mineral deficient. Zinc, magnesium, other trace minerals. Thiamine also, and other b vitamins, both for the hair health, and for her moods/sensory issues. These deficiencies alone can cause her behavioral issues. Cleaning up her diet will probably be huge too, sensory issues usually point to leaky gut making partially digested food proteins act as opioids when they leak out of the gut and travel to the brain. That being said, refusing to get her hair done was one of my kid's first pandas symptoms, and having to get it done exactly the same way every day is pretty ocd-ish, which points to pandas again, so I'd definitely look into that. Pandas/pans can cause all the other behavioral issues too, as well as the mineral deficiencies and the leaky gut, so it makes sense that it would be at the root of all this.

rowo

Mon, Nov 06 2017, 11:22 pm

Another mother here who is dealing with similar situations...

Incentive charts also don't work so well for my daughter either. Sometimes even make her more stressed!
I was getting too frustrated with the evening routine and the need to argue over every single thing that needs to be done. So I wrote a list and put it in the kids hands, you do all these things by Xtime and you can have/do Z. But they're responsible, I said I'm not reminding.
It works fairly well, but my daughter started to just get so stressed about it after a few days, that it was almost not worth it. She likes to be in control so I thought it would be good to give her this to have control over. But didn't really work.

Some advice that I was given, was to sit down and talk with her.
Empathise with her, that she is stressed, evenings/mornings are hard for her.
Then ask what she thinks are some things we can do to change the situation so it's not so frustrating for her.

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 11:17 am

So, I had a conversation with her last night and this morning.

The short version is- it is not the pony holders, she doesn't like anything extra in her hair (clips headbands etc), she dislikes short hair (but I discussed donating to sick kids and she seems receptive to the idea, but told me she'll let me know in the future what she decides), she originally didn't like the checklist idea but then BARUCH HASH-em it worked out well this morning.

We hope to continue trying the checklist and adjusting as needed. It also helps that her school is ok with her coming late, because all this is so much easier to deal with without the other kids around. She is calmer and I have (a little) more patience. It's annoying that my day starts later, but such is life sometimes.

I'm trying to empathise as much as possible. It is very draining for me especially when I don't agree or understand the issue. But I try. It is worse when she doesn't even want and appreciate the empathy- she really just wants to be negative. But this is going on to another issue and another thread probably. This one was just to deal with her hair...

To the PP who mentioned mineral deficiency. Is there a way to test that? I don't want to keep buying more and more vitamins etc not knowing if she needs it or it will be helpful.

Not sure how to clean up her diet when I think she has a pretty ok one. If I take out gluten or dairy, she seriously wouldn't have anything to eat! Other than those two, she eats ok.

She has never had strep in her life, tested a few times, so not sure how it would be Pandas. Also, would it last this long without any other medical issues? This has been going on (different symptoms/behaviors, but same issue) for almost three years already...

Thanks everyone who is chiming in!

amother

Mustard

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 12:54 pm

Would it help if you could implement a level of play?

My daughter was so difficult about getting dressed and for the longest time, we played "clothing store" in the morning. I would talk in a fancy lady voice and ask her which outfit she wants to try on and act a little silly while giving her a choice of outfits and sox. (Even if I prepared something the night b4, wouldn't u know in the morning it wouldn't suit her!) And while it was still a pain and took a while(I mean, just get dressed!! AAAGHH!), there was an element of fun and it allowed her to have some control and to be fussy without being difficult because it was part of the playing. And then, if I needed to say no, I could make up something Oh honey, we don't have that in your size. So if she was freaking about the shirt she wanted and it was in the wash, I could say to her Oh, we'll order it in your size and have it in for you to pick up tomorrow. It was easier for her to accept because it was a part of the game. It was helpful and she managed to be ready for the bus most of the time.

would it work if you played hair salon?

lavenderchimes

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 5:40 pm

amother wrote:

I am glad you were able to have a conversation and also to find somethi g that worked today! Sometimes, it can make so much difference just to have Something go right! Please don't forget to take care of yourself and your marriage in all his Heart

You can ask her GP to text her vitamin levels-- the Dr. can then discuss the meaning of thibgs and levels with you.

Another thought -- my mother was losing her hair for a few years when she was a little girl, and it was just from stress. The Dr. recommended that it be cut a little shorter to reduce the weight, but it just resolved naturally, eventually.