S/o Do you open doors for other people?

allthingsblue

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 6:49 pm

Yes, when I can (ie, if I'm not holding a baby or grocery bags or pushing a stroller).
No it doesn't make a difference for whom. I do it for all types.
I do get annoyed when people don't say thank you.

Tzutzie

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 6:50 pm

You mean keep the door open for someone?
I do, as long as they are human.

My front door? nope. Unless I know them or am expecting them.

amother

Rose

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 6:57 pm

I am assuming you are talking about holding the door open for the next person. Yes I do, for anyone who is right behind me. It gets awkward if the person is far enough away that he/she would have to run to catch the door. I find it rude when the person in front of me shuts the door in my face.

But then again, I find it rude when people spill something and then leave it, or when people litter, when people do not use their blinkers, when people don't look around when crossing the street, when people text and drive.....

Shoshana37

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 7:00 pm

My sons Rav told the boys they are not allowed to hold door for women. Thank Gd I teach my kids to always be polite and hold doors and give sit on the bus to elderly. FYI my son was very mad at his rabbi for teaching them that, that’s really wrong

mommy3b2c

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 7:04 pm

Of course I hold doors. What should I do? Slam it in their face?
And in general, people always hold doors for me. It’s basic human decency. My bank is near a bus stop and sometimes I go just when public school is let out. There are always a bunch of rowdy high schools kids blocking the doors. Then usually one notices me, and they all get quiet and one of them holds the door for me. I always find it so sweet.

Boca00

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 7:05 pm

Shoshana37 wrote:

Interesting. I never heard this before.

In our (Kollel) building, men always hold the door open and have even helped me bring my kids in or carry my stroller to my apartment. I don't think it's immodest, just basic mentschlichkeit (sp?).

Boca00

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 7:07 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

That is sweet. On another thread, a poster mentioned that in her community, people do not hold doors open for each other. I wonder how much of that is due to misplaced tznius and how much of that is simply being oblivious or in a rush.

papermageling

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 7:21 pm

I hold the door open behind me if someone is reasonably close behind. If someone is carrying a lot or dealing with small children, I'll stand to the side and hold the door open. This is basic good manners in my community. DH holds the door open for just about everyone, although where he grew up, people mostly did not hold open doors.

naturalmom5

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 7:42 pm

Shoshana37 wrote:

Not holding a door for a lady... A chumra on top of a chumra on top of a chumra..

Making a chilul hashem.. Even yom hamisa isn't mchaper..

shock

flowerpower

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 7:43 pm

Of course. I teach my kids to open and hold the doors as well. Just today a chasidishe middle aged man saw me approaching a door that is hard to open so he ran ahead and opened it for me. I thought it was sweet of him.

zaq

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 7:44 pm

Yes of course, if they’re reasonably close behind me and I’m not laden down with parcels that would make it awkward. Gender doesn’t matter.

amother

White

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 7:51 pm

Boca00 wrote:

I seem to have really caused a commotion, so I'm writing amother...

They're in a rush. No issues of tznius where I live.

And, obviously, if someone's coming with kids, or packages, it's different.

mom of cuties

Thu, Nov 09 2017, 1:13 pm

Of course I do for everyone, its basic human decency. And Ive never had a door slammed in my face either.

amother

Blush

Thu, Nov 09 2017, 6:20 pm

If it would be obviously helpful, yes if they're right behind me or I'll ask if they're further away. Like, people carrying something heavy, look like they're having a hard time walking, using a cane, in a wheelchair, etc. They can say no if they don't need it.

Otherwise, only if they're right behind me and the door would shut in their face or slow down entry. That's just common courtesy. But I hate it when I'm like 20 feet from a door and some man (always a man!) wants to hold it for me. I get where they're coming from and think they're being nice and respectful, but all I feel is pressure to move faster because I'm holding them up from wherever they're trying to go.

MrsDash

Thu, Nov 09 2017, 7:00 pm

Shoshana37 wrote:

Wow! That is quite progressive for a Frum community. #feminism Twisted Evil

Writergirl

Thu, Nov 09 2017, 7:03 pm

what's the question? what else would I do let the door slam in someone face? I don't beleven that there are many people who don't hold open doors....