Seminary reference vent

amother

Indigo

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 1:15 pm

I asked our local rav to complete the reference form for the seminary application- one of the questions asks about skill level. I did go to him a while back to discuss why we were taking a different educational path with dd, so that if anyone asks he would have a full story- (bullying- learning she has dyslexia). The form asks for her skills ability. Instead of saying he has no idea- which he does not- he has not seen any of her school work or heard her read etc, he wrote something to the effect of that she has had certain challenges but her parents have helped her deal with them and she is much stronger than she was.
Oh my goodness- this sounds terrible!!!!! That last sentence- should at least read and she is doing great- "much stronger than she was" that could mean she is still awful.
These seminaries are sooo competitive and I know she can succeed, do great- she is really smart and now that she has the tools is really shinning.
I think he just blew our chances. ahhhhhhh. Sooooo frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!

miami85

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 1:33 pm

amother wrote:

FWIW, I had a seminary of personal choice, and I had been set on going to that seminary literally since 8th grade. Then at the end of 10th my father passed away suddenly, which affected my grades end of 10th grade and probably my mood for a good part of 11th grade. Then come my interview, I thought I made a really silly error and I thought I completely blew my chances at getting in to that seminary. Thus, I went home from my interview really dejected, I figured my only recourse was to write a letter to the seminary explaining my situation and that I'm more than my grades reflect. I had NO idea what kind of impact of my letter did--and I hadn't even discussed this with my teacher-advisor if it was a good idea or just making me sound more pathetic, but soon before the acceptance letters went out, my teacher-advisor asked me about the letter and I confessed sheepishly and her only response was "good move." B"H I was accepted on the first round. I don't know what to advise you in this situation, just I can tell by my experience that much goes on behind the scenes between the schools and the teachers and the seminary that the interview and probably the letters of reference--b/c probably 99% of them just talk about how wonderful each girl who applies is. Perhaps discuss it with your schools mechaneches b/c she probably knows what's going on behind the scenes.

amother

Indigo

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 1:36 pm

Thank you for helping me to breath. I already thanked him with great appreciation for taking the time to complete the forms the school sent, dd is sending him an email as well thanking him. I did just ask him if it were possible for him to mention/ad that he does not know dds skill level. (what I could be saying is eh could be great- different expectations from different people, by the way I never told him she was eh, she isn't, actually never told him anything about her current levels- except she is an awesome young lady, which he agreed with.) He is a very sensitive rabbi and is so good at always putting a positive spin as well as apologizing if he has hurt anyone- so I certainly don't want to make him feel bad- but he did miss the mark a bit. plech.

mame1

Mon, Nov 13 2017, 2:09 pm

In my experience in life, when you're looking for a letter of recommendation or a letter where you're trying to appeal to anyone for anything, unless the person is very well-acquainted with you they're not going to say what you want them to say. Many times, they also don't know what to say. I find that they are usually more than willing to say what you want them to say, either by handing them a letter that you wrote yourself or by having a conversation with them and telling them straight-out things you want them to highlight in their letter.