Please share your oppinion and experience with meds

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Nov 14 2017, 7:05 pm

Hi.
My DS just turned 5 years old. He is a brilliant, high functioning child. Academically, doing fine, if not well, due to excellent memory. But behaviorally, he is getting worse, as he gets more aware and smarter, he uses his "self directness" and "noise in his brain" in more non- appropriate ways. He doesn't care about anything, he is yelling more, more not listening, socially controlling, demanding, therefore not really an equal or pair. he doesn't know where he is in space, so he is always awkward and off.
The teacher isn't complaining because he is learning okay, and she is very experienced and can handle the behaviors. in school, the issues is more on himself, he sometimes runs his own show, wont lay or interact with other kids, and if he does, is telling them what to do.
It has become miserable to parent him. Kids don't want to play with him, like scared of him. because he is super quick, impulsive and all over the place. He only does things that will help fill his needs of satisfaction, like wanting junk food or to run spin and climb. he doesn't really care about anything.
He had/has every therapy in the world, but the more aware he gets, the more he uses his smartness against society, for negative. He is obsessed with killing, shooting etc. We are careful not to bring that stuff into our home, but like from the Parsha, story of mitzrayim, Paroah, Chanukah, akeidas yitzchok, you name it, she clings on to it like crazy! He never listen the first time, second, third , fourth of fifth. He needs threats and warnings to get anything done, and then, still doesn't do it after 30 seconds. I'm at my wits end, I'm starting to hate being his mother, and he is an outcast. Someone I am close to told me she thinks its time to see a psychiatrist. I tried every type of therapy under the sun for him, since he was a few months old, and at this point- I'm worried for his safety (lacks body and safety awareness) and he is so aggressive I just keep trying to spend as little time possible with him. like I gave up on trying to get him to be normal and cooperate well with society.
is it too young for medication?
am I being fair, if he is doing okay academically, to put I'm on meds?
this person told me its actually unfair, not to try medication and give him a better chance at fitting into society. school isn't only about academics.
I'm so lost. He just only looks to do crazy things. Doesn't play normally. Constantly destroying. Takes a lot of excitement and enticement to get im to participate in what YOU want from him.
I would love to hear from those who have had experience with such a case, and if medication helped? the side effects? is it worth it? fair?
thank you for your input!

imasinger

Tue, Nov 14 2017, 7:28 pm

Medication can help. Even at 5, though that is quite young. A good psychiatrist will insist that you also continue with therapy in addition to medication.

Nobody here should be naming medications unless they are psychiatrists who have taken on the case.

A good psychiatrist will move very slowly, first giving a subclinical dose to see how the medication is tolerated, then gradually upping it.

When you do consult, use your common sense. If something doesn't look like it's working well after a week or two, it probably isn't.

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Nov 16 2017, 4:51 pm

As someone who took medication as a child, I would recommend it.

I was also succeeding in terms of grades. But socially I was miserable. At home I was miserable. At school I was miserable. And when I say miserable, I mean miserable to be around, and miserable in how I felt. You sound like my mom. But medication isn't given just to get good grades or to sit still. We give medication to improve a child's quality of life. Your son sounds like he needs medication because he sounds like he is suffering. That's what medication is for - to help your child not feel so miserable. I didn't take medication to do well in school, I took it because my brain just wouldn't shut off. It was always going a million miles a minute and pulling me right along with it. I didn't want to always have so much noise in my head. I didn't want to be impulsive. I didn't want to not have control over myself. I didn't want the other kids to treat me like an outcast. And I didn't want my parents to feel like they couldn't handle me. I didn't take medication until I was 11, even though I could have taken it at age 7 (when it was first suggested). I should have taken it right then. In fact, it should have been recommended to me earlier - when I was 5 and first started being miserable.

5 isn't too young, because no one is ever to young to be suffering on the inside. A 5 year old doens't suffer less than a 7 year old or a 9 year old. A 5 year old doens't have less social problems, or problems at home because of his beahvior, than an older child would. A 5 year old doens't have less noise in his brain than a 10 year old. For most of my childhood, I used to go around saying that 5 was the last year I was happy. Medication can change your son's life, and yours (of course, continue with all the therapies, he still needs to learn skills to manage his emotions and behavior). At the very least, medication worth it even if the only thing it does is improve his relationship with his parents, because kids know when their parents are at their wits end, and that on its own has a huge impact. But really, it's most valuable because it will help him feel better on the inside - all change and behavior stems from that. He shouldn't have suffer if he can be helped.

amother

Ecru

Thu, Nov 16 2017, 5:21 pm

If you going to start medication, make sure that you are very aware within the first week or two of any dosage or medication change of any emotional or mood changes in your child. Often you can see a personality change that he becomes kind of down or withdrawn which can happen sometimes. A child should be less hyperactive and have less crazy energy, but they should still stay positive and not be moody. Unfortunately some chemicals don't work for your child's brain as well as others so it's just something to keep in mind. If that happens, just switch medications

cnc

Thu, Nov 16 2017, 6:16 pm

amother wrote:

You're technically right but many medications are only covered from age 6 and up. These are controlled substances that are dispensed carefully.

amother

Royalblue

Thu, Nov 16 2017, 6:38 pm

Thank you for all your responses.
DS has 20 hrs a week ABA, OT and PT. He will be starting a Sunday social skills group.
I tried biomedical treatment when he was 2 years old. I did it for a few mo ths, Im sure it helped to some degree, but the therapy helped the most, and the gfcf diet helped alot at that point as well.
I just feel like we reached a standstill. He is so smart, has skills, but so impulsive, self directed, loner, aggresive and all over the place.
Amother Vermilion, thank you for sharing about yourself. May I ask, did you ever go off meds or are you still on?
Did you have negetive side effects?
Did you also have sensory issues?
I agree that at 5 one can feel bad about themselves as like 7 or 11. Thats what is making me consider it.

I appreciate what everyone has to share.

amother

Vermilion

Fri, Nov 17 2017, 5:39 am

The only side effect I had from medication was decreased appetite, which didn't bother me, but I didn't gain as much weight as usual during the years I was on meds. But I didn't have any emotional / psychological side effects at all, I just felt better. I went off medication in the middle of highschool (and have been off since), and I was fine - all the therapies had taught me the skills I needed to manage, and your brain is in a different place at that age, a lot of things had settled to some degree (I.e. became much less intense). Also, my physical growth caught up quickly around then, either because I went off medication and my appetite increased or because of puberty (maybe both).

I also have sensory issues. They never went away with medication, but I think the medication made it much easier for me not to have a total meltdown just because the seam of my sock touched my foot the wrong way. I would still have to adjust the seam, but woudn't have to have a tantrum about it. I would still sometimes get a little crazy if the volume of sound in the room made a sudden change, but I learned to manage that over the years to. But I had so much less to deal with in general on medication, that the sensory stuff was much less of a big deal.

If you haven't yet done so, I recommend you at least meet with a neurologist or psychiatrist to discuss medication and find out more about what to expect (one visit isn't a commitment to medication). Then you can make a decision based on that.