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Forum
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-> Moving/ Relocating
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amother
Copper
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 Thu, Nov 16 2017, 4:52 pm
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New here but need help. My husband wants to live to Monsey and I am terrified of not fitting in. We are a family of 6 and done having kids (oldest is teen/adult and would likely only live with us for a short time after moving, also will likely go OTD once on their own, sadly) other kids are much younger. We are BT Breslov and have things that make it quite obvious that we didn't grow up frum. We have internet in the house and would likely keep it due to my husband's work. We'd appreciate being around Breslovers but we don't know if there are any that we would fit with in the area. We've only ever lived OOT as a family and I am so scared. Please help a sister out.
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TranquilityAndPeace
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 5:07 pm
I haven't lived in Monsey in 14 years, and it's changed so much, so I can't answer you.
Here in Baltimore you'd fit in! Everyone fits in here! I'd probably recommend Rabbi Goldberger's shul - very warm and caters to BTs for the most part.
Good luck!
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Blessing1
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 5:14 pm
The Brealov people in Monsey don't all live in one area, they are scattered around. There are chassidish Breslov & not chassidish Breslov. But I think you would do well in Pomona or maybe New Hepmsted. Even Chestnut Ridge might be a good match. The Monsey community is generally accepting of all types of people.
Good luck!!
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doctorima
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 5:18 pm
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Maybe Lipa Shmeltzer's community shul if it's still around (or wherever his people ended up if it's not) - a real openminded, non-judgmental melting pot.
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Blessing1
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 5:23 pm
Lips's shul is more ex chassidim, not really Breslov.
Scheiners shul Ohr Hachayim in Forshay has a Breslov crowd & is extremely welcoming to whoever steps on there! So maybe look into Forshay area.
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thunderstorm
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 5:44 pm
| Blessing1 wrote: | Lips's shul is more ex chassidim, not really Breslov.
Scheiners shul Ohr Hachayim in Forshay has a Breslov crowd & is extremely welcoming to whoever steps on there! So maybe look into Forshay area. |
This is the shul where Rabbi YY Jacobson gives his weekly shiur. I believe it is considered a very welcoming shul. However that area is super expensive.
Honestly, my hardest part of "fitting in" was in terms of schools. Since you are passed that stage I think the outskirts of Chestnut Ridge might suit you. There some Breslov people in my neighborhood. But like someone else said, the people that are Breslov live in all areas since they differ so much even between themselves.
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amother
Copper
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 7:11 pm
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Speaking of schools (we do have younger children too) Any recommendations that would fit us? boys and girls
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thunderstorm
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 7:30 pm
| amother wrote: | | Speaking of schools (we do have younger children too) Any recommendations that would fit us? boys and girls |
Sorry . I misread your op. I was thinking your youngest was the teen almost adult.
Schools are really hard to get into and are cruel when it comes to acceptance. My parents and DHs parents are Geirim and BTs and I was treated like a second class citizen when trying to get my boys into school. I've heard that the girls schools are the worst. My nieces were never accepted to school when they moved to Monsey. They were home for two years until the oldest went OTD and the rest followed suit. DO NOT MOVE TO MONSEY UNTIL YOUR CHILDREN HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO SCHOOL. It has destroyed numerous families. Monsey is not this "welcoming" place it once was and you really need to make sure that you are making the right choice for your kids. I don't want to discourage you but I know to many people personally that have been negatively impacted by moving to Monsey. I myself live here 17 years, I am an FFB but people think of me as different because of my parents background. It never bothered me what they think until I didn't have a school for my kid because nobody thought we fit their "mold"
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Soul on fire
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 7:37 pm
| Bizzydizzymommy wrote: | Sorry . I misread your op. I was thinking your youngest was the teen almost adult.
Schools are really hard to get into and are cruel when it comes to acceptance. My parents and DHs parents are Geirim and BTs and I was treated like a second class citizen when trying to get my boys into school. I've heard that the girls schools are the worst. My nieces were never accepted to school when they moved to Monsey. They were home for two years until the oldest went OTD and the rest followed suit. DO NOT MOVE TO MONSEY UNTIL YOUR CHILDREN HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO SCHOOL. It has destroyed numerous families. Monsey is not this "welcoming" place it once was and you really need to make sure that you are making the right choice for your kids. I don't want to discourage you but I know to many people personally that have been negatively impacted by moving to Monsey. I myself live here 17 years, I am an FFB but people think of me as different because of my parents background. It never bothered me what they think until I didn't have a school for my kid because nobody thought we fit their "mold" |
That's sad.
Last edited by Soul on fire on Thu, Nov 16 2017, 10:17 pm; edited 2 times in total
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amother
Apricot
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 7:38 pm
| Blessing1 wrote: | The Brealov people in Monsey don't all live in one area, they are scattered around. There are chassidish Breslov & not chassidish Breslov. But I think you would do well in Pomona or maybe New Hepmsted. Even Chestnut Ridge might be a good match. The Monsey community is generally accepting of all types of people.
Good luck!! |
What are non chassidish Breslov?
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amother
Yellow
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 7:44 pm
| amother wrote: | | What are non chassidish Breslov? |
People who believe in the Breslov shitta of Rav Nachman, but have no affiliation with modern day Chassidish.
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Blessing1
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 9:04 pm
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OP, what type of schools are your kids in now? Bais Yaakov type?
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momX4
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 9:30 pm
| Blessing1 wrote: | | OP, what type of schools are your kids in now? Bais Yaakov type? |
if you want recommendations for monsey schools please post what type of schools they are in now.
Dont move to Monsey unless you have schools for your kids. The schools are full and its hard to get your kids into schools here.
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amother
Copper
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 9:42 pm
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The two youngest aren’t in school yet. 1 girl 1 boy. The other one likely won’t need a school due to special needs. We will figure that out.
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amother
Azure
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 9:51 pm
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How far from monsey are you willing to go? There's a lot of BTs in Passaic.
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amother
Copper
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 10:13 pm
| amother wrote: | | How far from monsey are you willing to go? There's a lot of BTs in Passaic. |
I don’t love the idea of living in NJ tbh. But how far is passaic?
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amother
Copper
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 10:16 pm
| Bizzydizzymommy wrote: | Sorry . I misread your op. I was thinking your youngest was the teen almost adult.
Schools are really hard to get into and are cruel when it comes to acceptance. My parents and DHs parents are Geirim and BTs and I was treated like a second class citizen when trying to get my boys into school. I've heard that the girls schools are the worst. My nieces were never accepted to school when they moved to Monsey. They were home for two years until the oldest went OTD and the rest followed suit. DO NOT MOVE TO MONSEY UNTIL YOUR CHILDREN HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO SCHOOL. It has destroyed numerous families. Monsey is not this "welcoming" place it once was and you really need to make sure that you are making the right choice for your kids. I don't want to discourage you but I know to many people personally that have been negatively impacted by moving to Monsey. I myself live here 17 years, I am an FFB but people think of me as different because of my parents background. It never bothered me what they think until I didn't have a school for my kid because nobody thought we fit their "mold" |
What type of schools? That’s terrible. This is what I worry about. My kids having a hard time there.
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Soul on fire
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 10:19 pm
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I don’t know much about Monsey but have also heard good things about Baltimore and there are other Breslovers there.
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amother
Lavender
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 10:23 pm
| amother wrote: | | I don’t love the idea of living in NJ tbh. But how far is passaic? |
Why not?
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amother
Plum
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Thu, Nov 16 2017, 10:28 pm
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Passaic has lots of baalai teshuva but not a lot of chassidim. I don't know what you are like but I consider Passaic a pretty litvish place. There are yesheivish and jpf/ rightwing MO with a few more MO people and Baalei teshuva who fall in to that. I think there might be a chabad house but it's not a big chabad community. Can't think of anyone breslov but maybe I just didn't meet them.
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