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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
amother
Sapphire
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Fri, Nov 17 2017, 1:21 pm
Your husband or your kids?
If you had to choose...
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flowerpower
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Fri, Nov 17 2017, 1:23 pm
It's a different kind of love. One is a partner and the other is dependent on you.
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amother
Brown
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Fri, Nov 17 2017, 1:25 pm
I love my husband more than any other man and I love my children more than any other children There’s no competition, just different love. My heart has enough room for them all!
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amother
Mistyrose
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Fri, Nov 17 2017, 1:34 pm
Not sure what you mean by love in the context of your question. Can you say more?
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mommy3b2c
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Fri, Nov 17 2017, 1:36 pm
My children. And I hope my husband would choose my children too. Actually, I know he would. And I’m glad of it.
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amother
Chocolate
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Fri, Nov 17 2017, 1:38 pm
That’s a hard ques and I hope I never have to choose.
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observer
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Fri, Nov 17 2017, 1:53 pm
amother wrote: | I love my husband more than any other man and I love my children more than any other children There’s no competition, just different love. My heart has enough room for them all! |
Great post! Why amother? You should take credit for it!
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SuperWify
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Fri, Nov 17 2017, 1:55 pm
observer wrote: | Great post! Why amother? You should take credit for it! |
So funny! I was about to answer the same thing!
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Zehava
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Fri, Nov 17 2017, 2:36 pm
What do you mean by choose?
Choose to save? Kids
Choose to spend time with? Husband
Choose to spend the rest of my life with on a daily basis? Husband
Different kind of love
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doodlesmom
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Fri, Nov 17 2017, 3:05 pm
Agree that depends what Love means. That being said if a husband turns out to be a molestor killer rapist etc I will let him hang out to dry. I will always stand by my kid.
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amother
Olive
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Sat, Nov 18 2017, 12:31 pm
I can't link to it, but read Ayelet Waldman's 2005 piece in the NY Times. She said she'd choose her husband over her kids if she had to. It's a classic of the mommy wars. (I'm no fan of either one of them, but that's a whole other kettle of fish.)
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Water Stones
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Sat, Nov 18 2017, 8:06 pm
I love my husband so much, but my children I'd suffer more if I lose them.
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Kiwi13
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Sat, Nov 18 2017, 8:08 pm
In my experience it’s not who I love “more,” these are such different kinds of love. You can’t compare the two at all.
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amother
Black
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Sat, Nov 18 2017, 8:25 pm
I have endless love for my kids, but I love my husband more than anyone in the world. . .
I have no problem being separated from my kids (e.g. for sleepovers, weekends, camp, seminary, Yeshiva in E”Y, etc.). I miss them of course, but I’m happy that they’re happy and things are going well for them. On the other hand, I would’ve miserable if I were separated from my husband for any length of time.
Our children are ours temporarily. They have their own future (with their own spouses iy”H). My husband is my now and forever.
One other note. I lost an infant to SIDS- a heartache no parent should have to undergo. And while waiting in the emergency room for the dreadful news to be made official, I turned to my husband (who is always telling me that things could be worse) and told him, “I thought of something that could be worse - it could have been you . . .” And he answered, “I was thinking the same thing.”
After all we’ve been through together throughout the years, all the ups and downs (births, simchos, financial ventures, loss of a child, grandchildren, etc.) we’ve shared them all (and supported each other when necessary) he is my #1 (and I know that I’m his #1, as well).
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DVOM
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Sat, Nov 18 2017, 9:00 pm
Gut reaction to the question? husband. My answer surprised me, but there it is... I suppose my kids, I'm constantly in the process of letting them go, letting them be their own people in their own right with their own ideas and opinions and wishes and goals. I hope one day, in the normal, healthy process of their growing up and away from me, to live separate lives from my kids. My husband, I'm constantly in the process of becoming more and more "one" with. I couldn't live without him.
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amother
Burlywood
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Sat, Nov 18 2017, 9:01 pm
DVOM wrote: | Gut reaction to the question? husband. My answer surprised me, but there it is... I suppose my kids, I'm constantly in the process of letting them go, letting them be their own people in their own right with their own ideas and opinions and wishes and goals. I hope one day, in the normal, healthy process of their growing up and away from me, to live separate lives from my kids. My husband, I'm constantly in the process of becoming more and more "one" with. I couldn't live without him. |
Me too. And my answer didn't surprise me; it embarrassed me - as if I don't love my kids enough. Which is something I'm working on. Glad to hear it's normal.
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