Division of Responsibility

amother

Sapphire

Sat, Nov 18 2017, 2:46 pm

I just read up about this approach, and I'd like to start implementing it with my 3 year old.
If I put a meal that I know she likes on her table, she will just pick at it. Later, before bed, she'll ask for cucumber or pepper, both snacks that she knows I will give her.
For that reason, I always feed her myself, while I read her a book.
I'm not sure how to use Slatter's approach in this case. Can you please help me?
She eats alone, on a kid's size table, because I eat with my husband later on. She also only likes bland food, so I give her different food to what I serve my husband and myself.

amother

Babyblue

Sat, Nov 18 2017, 7:02 pm

If you want to use that approach, you basically need to change everything you're doing. You should not allow snacks after supper, even healthy ones. She should not be eating at a little table, she should be eating with at least you, if not also your husband. She should be eating what you and your husband eat, not separate food. You shouldn't be feeding her, she should be feeding herself. Its a whole different mentality and approach to eating than where you're coming from. It's a complete change. I grew up with this approach (my parents always say - "a (healthy) child will never starve themselves") my husband didn't get it at first, but he's now fully on board. Takes all the stress and drama out of mealtime, and more importantly, out of food in general. If my kids don't want to eat what's served, they can have bread or matzah and butter.
Edited - I think reading to her while you feed her is also not part of this approach

amother

Sapphire

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 7:41 am

[quote="amother"]If you want to use that approach, you basically need to change everything you're doing. You should not allow snacks after supper, even healthy ones. S She should be eating what you and your husband eat, not separate food. She should not be eating at a little table, she should be eating with at least you, if not also your husband.[quote="amother"]

Thanks for the information.
1. My husband doesn't come home until she's in bed, and I like to eat with him. Is it crucial that I eat with her, or is it enough that I sit with her while she eats?
2. I often make one pot suppers, and most of it will be too spiced for her taste. So I could make the supper plus a bowl of rice, which she does like. Is that ideal?
3. She doesn't eat well by herself - she just picks at her food. Do I set her a time limit? Eventually she will need to go to bed and she will complain that she isn't finished eating.

Thank you! This is something I really want to implement.

Ruchel

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 7:58 am

I give the spicy etc almost from start, with the obvious exceptions of vodka pasta or jalapeno. Kids get used to it from in utero in - Indian women deliver babies smelling like curry Wink

It's ok, really. So I have a French schedule hence we all eat late and go to sleep late and that is what works for us, but if you can't have her eat with you as a family, I say it's not big deal to have her eat alone/just with you and you take dessert with dh/even at a little table. We had a kiddy table on our balcony all summer long.

Now, really, a 3 year old can eat alone barring a special condition. It includes using a knife under your supervision.

amother

Sapphire

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 12:37 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you for all your advice! I tried it tonight and it was basically a success. She took mounds and mounds of food but ate a normal amount and tried something she would never have attempted in the past. It was such a relief on my part, from the stress that used to be trying to feed her. My only concern was that I did have to put a time limit on it cos she had to go to bed, so I assigned half hour to supper and told her her time was up. Is that correct?
Also, I put out rice - which I knew she likes - and a lentil stew. Obviously she ate the entire bowl of rice and then surprisingly tried the stew. My question is, had she disliked the stew, she would have asked for more rice. Little did she know that I did have some more in the fridge. In such a case, should I then take out more? Or say tough, there is no more..and then the choice for her is to eat the stew she dislikes or go to bed hungry...

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 1:17 pm

amother wrote:

Common sense, please.

If the kid ate nicely and the food she likes is gone, and she's still hungry, yes, give her more.