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S/O what's great about being a woman?
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 7:09 am
These threads always make me feel like a man.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 7:13 am
leah233 wrote:
Children were the only ones eligible for the kindertransports .I agree that in an actual situation it wouldn't be a black on white decision to save the men first.


Why were they the only ones eligible? Who decided? Why did they not only send male children?
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 7:16 am
saw50st8 wrote:
These threads always make me feel like a man.

Lol, me too! Literally nothing listed here about being a woman is true for me.
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 7:17 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
Why were they the only ones eligible? Who decided? Why did they not only send male children?


The people sending the children weren't the ones making decisions, the government that was taking the refugee children made those decisions. They were the ones who decided ok, we'll take in some refugees- but only children.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 7:19 am
LovesHashem wrote:
I don't have the pressure of providing for a family


Well, some women do feel that pressure, like me. There are enough families where the husband for different reasons doesn't earn money or doesn't earn enough.
I don't want to gripe - I'm working in the profession and position I chose and I like it, thank G-d. But sometimes, I'm worried that I might lose my job or become unable to work. And I have this constant feeling of pressure of having to work - there is no other way of life available for me, no matter how tired I am.

I sometimes think my dh got the better "deal". Though he probably thinks the opposite.
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leah233




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 7:24 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
Why were they the only ones eligible? Who decided? Why did they not only send male children?


The kindertransport was accomplished because after Kristallnacht the British government agreed to waive certain immigration requirements for unaccompanied children under 17.

They never would have agreed to having only boys sent and it was not only frum parents sending their children away. Even frum parents would have had no reason to keep their daughters in Germany. No one was telling them you can only send either your sons or your daughters. So even theoretically there was never a question of saving either boys or girls.
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amother
Blue


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 7:47 am
amother wrote:
Well, some women do feel that pressure, like me. There are enough families where the husband for different reasons doesn't earn money or doesn't earn enough.
I don't want to gripe - I'm working in the profession and position I chose and I like it, thank G-d. But sometimes, I'm worried that I might lose my job or become unable to work. And I have this constant feeling of pressure of having to work - there is no other way of life available for me, no matter how tired I am.

I sometimes think my dh got the better "deal". Though he probably thinks the opposite.


There are enough women like you who feel the pressure to work, that this no longer applies. I feel tremendous pressure to work - just the tuition bill alone adds so much to the family expenses that it is almost impossible to pay tuition and all other bills with only one middle to upper middle income.

And I don't know about you, but my dh feels that housekeeping is important - but his idea of a clean house and my idea of a clean house are at least ten miles away - so the lion's share of housekeeping still falls on me.

And to top it all off, I personally loved school and loved to learn, and I wish I had that option.
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amother
White


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 8:18 am
There is one thing about being a women which although it doesn't affect me personally still bothers me.

I have friends and relatives in their thirties and older who still aren't married. My husband knows almost no men that age who are still single. I know this isn't an intrinsic difference between being a man or women but still the pain of older female singles vs the lack of male counterparts for them comes to mind when I consider who has it easier.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 8:21 am
leah233 wrote:
The kindertransport was accomplished because after Kristallnacht the British government agreed to waive certain immigration requirements for unaccompanied children under 17.

They never would have agreed to having only boys sent and it was not only frum parents sending their children away. Even frum parents would have had no reason to keep their daughters in Germany. No one was telling them you can only send either your sons or your daughters. So even theoretically there was never a question of saving either boys or girls.


I'm not sure how easy it was to get place on the transport. Parents may have got places for only some of the kids and had to choose. But people chose probably based on age. A lot of families hoped to follow on. (and some did)

One of my relatives quite easily got a visa to the UK as a domestic servant. I'm not sure how easy it was for males to get those visas since I think it was female labour that was wanted. (Her brother went to another country)
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 8:23 am
amother wrote:
There is one thing about being a women which although it doesn't affect me personally still bothers me.

I have friends and relatives in their thirties and older who still aren't married. My husband knows almost no men that age who are still single. I know this isn't an intrinsic difference between being a man or women but still the pain of older female singles vs the lack of male counterparts for them comes to mind when I consider who has it easier.


This really bothers me too. It should bother men as well. Men have daughters and sisters who presumably they care about.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:47 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
Why were they the only ones eligible? Who decided? Why did they not only send male children?
. Because male children grow up into men and they need women to marry.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:57 am
amother wrote:
There is one thing about being a women which although it doesn't affect me personally still bothers me.

I have friends and relatives in their thirties and older who still aren't married. My husband knows almost no men that age who are still single. I know this isn't an intrinsic difference between being a man or women but still the pain of older female singles vs the lack of male counterparts for them comes to mind when I consider who has it easier.


We know scads of single men. We’re clearly older than you because the men we know are in their 40s thru 60s. I have no idea if any of them is still looking for a shidduch. Perhaps they have given up and resigned themselves to the single life or there are reasons, halachic, financial or otherwise, why they can’t marry. I wouldn’t know.
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amother
White


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 10:07 am
amother wrote:
We know scads of single men. We’re clearly older than you because the men we know are in their 40s thru 60s. I have no idea if any of them is still looking for a shidduch. Perhaps they have given up and resigned themselves to the single life or there are reasons, halachic, financial or otherwise, why they can’t marry. I wouldn’t know.


Which community are you in?

I'm in my 40s and I'm Litvish Yeshivsh. From the people I know over 60 the male and female never married population is about the same. But going downwards to the late twenties it is shaped like descending a mountain with the number of singles. Virtually all of them are female.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 11:27 am
zaq wrote:
. Because male children grow up into men and they need women to marry.


I hope you’re being sarcastic.
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Optimystic




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 11:48 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
If child bearing is the marker for enjoying being a woman, what does that say about women who struggle with infertility?

For me, I enjoy being on a higher spiritual plane, and having greater access to my emotions. I would never want to be a man, just for those reasons alone.

Before I knew I couldn't have children, my life revolved around who they were going to be. Actually, it still does, even though I am also too poor to adopt. So, I have to say motherhood is an essential part of who I am, even if I am not actually a mother, which is a loss that never goes away, though not a loss that is always painful. It just pushes me to find other ways to contribute, and maybe it drives me in a way that it wouldn't drive a man.

At the same time, I agree with you; there is more to like about being a woman than actually having children. I feel like we feel things more, or at least that society permits us to feel things more, and I sense that we have deeper interpersonal connections.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 11:55 am
Im pretty Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

Makeup. Hair. Jewellery. Dresses.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 12:04 pm
The idea of having to daven with a minyan 3x per day is alone enough reason for me to be thankful for being a woman.

Also the idea of being responsible for providing for a family. Yes, I know these days so many women work too - many f/t and many as professionals, making as much as, if not more than, their husbands. But I'm old fashioned I guess in that I still feel like the wife's financial contributions are voluntary/optional/ a nice perk but that ultimately the pressure is on the man to provide. And that is a stress I can't imagine.

Now, what I enjoy about being a woman.... I really like all those things that make women feel pretty and attractive... I love make-up, jewelry, pretty clothes and accessories, perfume....
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eschaya




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 12:40 pm
Another obvious female here who feels very masculine after reading this thread.
I feel the pressure to make a parnassa and support my family more than dh does (though he does it anyway, I'm the one who feels the burden). Thankfully, I love to work outside the home, I love to learn and engage my mind. I would love to learn gemara if I were so destined, and I'm pretty sure I'd be darned good at it. I'm not into clothes or jewelry. I absolutely despise being made to feel weak and helpless. I would get insulted to have men run to help me (hey, I can do most of it better myself) and I'm usually the one going out of my way to help others. I don't take pleasure in being weak and - though I'm not where I want to be in this respect - I work out not to look pretty or be thin but to be strong and capable. I do feel lucky to have the awesome experience of feeling a life flutter within me, but I'm not terribly maternal and don't love the whole pregnancy, childbirth, childrearing thing. I'd lose my mind being a SAHM or a morah (and have endless respect for both).
That being said, I don't dream of being a man. Of course I long for a time when social and societal opinions and treatment of women will be more equal and in line with our true value, worth and abilities, but honestly I think women are amazing. The thing I value most? Our binah yesierah/intuition/EQ, whatever you want to call it. Gosh, I've met so many incredibly intelligent men (married to one of them) who are so, remarkably DUMB when it comes to normal human interaction! Like head-against-the-wall, what-were-you-thinking, I-can't-believe-you-did/said-that kind of dumb. And these are people are overtly smart! I'm pretty sure you can match up a man and a woman with equal IQs... and the woman will usually be so much more adept and skilled with regard to navigating daily life, human interaction, and complex situations. Yup, I wouldn't give this up for anything.
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Mommyg8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 5:14 pm
eschaya wrote:
Another obvious female here who feels very masculine after reading this thread.
I feel the pressure to make a parnassa and support my family more than dh does (though he does it anyway, I'm the one who feels the burden). Thankfully, I love to work outside the home, I love to learn and engage my mind. I would love to learn gemara if I were so destined, and I'm pretty sure I'd be darned good at it. I'm not into clothes or jewelry. I absolutely despise being made to feel weak and helpless. I would get insulted to have men run to help me (hey, I can do most of it better myself) and I'm usually the one going out of my way to help others. I don't take pleasure in being weak and - though I'm not where I want to be in this respect - I work out not to look pretty or be thin but to be strong and capable. I do feel lucky to have the awesome experience of feeling a life flutter within me, but I'm not terribly maternal and don't love the whole pregnancy, childbirth, childrearing thing. I'd lose my mind being a SAHM or a morah (and have endless respect for both).
That being said, I don't dream of being a man. Of course I long for a time when social and societal opinions and treatment of women will be more equal and in line with our true value, worth and abilities, but honestly I think women are amazing. The thing I value most? Our binah yesierah/intuition/EQ, whatever you want to call it. Gosh, I've met so many incredibly intelligent men (married to one of them) who are so, remarkably DUMB when it comes to normal human interaction! Like head-against-the-wall, what-were-you-thinking, I-can't-believe-you-did/said-that kind of dumb. And these are people are overtly smart! I'm pretty sure you can match up a man and a woman with equal IQs... and the woman will usually be so much more adept and skilled with regard to navigating daily life, human interaction, and complex situations. Yup, I wouldn't give this up for anything.


Applause Applause Applause

eschaya, thank you for taking the words right out of my mouth, and for putting them together so much more eloquently than I ever could!
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Smileys:)




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 20 2017, 5:32 pm
I can be on Imamother! Isn't THAT great enough!!!
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