Son is not picking up kriah

amother

Red

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 8:43 pm

amother wrote:

Don't know what to do with him... My 5 year old son is in primary and is having a really hard time with Kriah ( aleph bais, their sounds and with the two nekudos that they've learned so far). I don't know what to do with him. My last son picked it up in a second. How do I know if he has a learning disability or is just not smart?
I'm also getting a lot of complaints from the rebbi about other children finding him "annoying" and that he might have behavioral issues. So stressed about this!

Re the bolded, these are not the only two options. Several of my children struggled with reading for quite a while. Each of them eventually got over the hill and then made quick progress. They are all older now and the stars of their respective classes(literally the smartest kids in their schools).

amother

Burgundy

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:12 pm

amother wrote:

The bolded bothers me. OP, you're his mother! When everyone else in the world is under-estimating his capabilities, you're the one who needs to be advocating for him!

Not saying you should be unrealistic, but find the positive to focus on. Not everyone is "smart" in the typical successful at school sense, but everyone has something.

Don't refer to your son as, just not smart. Our kids meet our expectations, whatever they are.

My dyslexic dc struggled with kriah in pre1a but with lots of practice, bH caught on.

Behavioral issues may point to ADD or dyslexia btw..

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:20 pm

amother wrote:

I meant in the typical school sense. He is my son- he's a very lovable , funny , and sensitive kid. However he is having an extremely difficult time with Kriah and it's just going to get more intense. (Never mind all these social issues that he apparently has)

Greenbelle

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:24 pm

amother wrote:

Your perspective is painful and foreign to me; forgive me but instead of sounding like a protective mama bear, you sound like you too are exasperated with him, you compare him to his brother and he comes up short and then you wonder why his behavior is deteriorating.

you say 'I don't know what to do with him' you say 'his brother picked it up in 5 minutes' you jump to the ridiculous conclusion that he is either learning disabled or not smart!!! Really???

you sound like you are your son's adversary and then to top it off, you say that other children find him 'annoying'
well duh.

You have bought into the school's appraisal of his value based upon his ability to pick up a foreign language which comes to some more easily than others. From the tone of your post, he has to deal with all this NOT ONLY in school, but also at home!!!
poor boy.
Home is supposed to be a safe haven but with your attitude, its not.

Two of my children who have high intelligence quotients had trouble learning to read.
I remember sitting next to my son on the couch and wrapping my arms around his thin frame and telling him the following. ' you are my beloved son; you are blessed with deep intellect. you are kind, you are sincere, you are deep and warm and affectionate and insightful. you are beloved by me and by abba and the whole family for all of your wonderful qualities and that will never change. Weather you learn to read this month or in another year or 2 or 3 your inherent value will never ever ever be attached to how quickly you learn a skill."

He is feeling your disapproval and frustration, the Rebbi's hostility at not being able to get it easily, he feels ridiculed by his peers, less than his brother... the pain just goes on and on.

Sure you can snap at me for pointing out the truth but who cares what I think??? I am nobody important to you! go get an attitude change, go take care of your child. go love and nurture him and stop sounding like an exasperated TEACHER.

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:47 pm

Greenbelle wrote:

The word annoying was in quotes as it was a direct quote from the rabbi who has called me twice to get him someone to help teach him social skills. Do I just block out everything that an experienced rabbi is telling me about my son and live in lala land instead of getting him help that may make his social life easier? The rabbi called me for the second time when he overheard kids making comments about my son being annoying and not wanting to play with him. If other kids are picking up on his social awkwardness - which I have NEVER seen so in no way am I thinking or looking badly on my son- then it is my responsibility as a parent to help him with that!
Now with regards to his kriah- maybe I could have used gentler language but I wasn't sure if there is a learning disability or if he is slower since I have no experience with a kid having a hard time with the basic aleph bias never mind nekudos!
And for the record- my son has no clue that he is learning slower then the other kids. You think I am telling him that he is slow? How would he know?! You're projecting something random on me.

amother

Blush

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 9:53 pm

Greenbelle wrote:

Wow. She’s speaking freely to a group of moms, not her son. She has made ZERO mention of what is going on between her and her son.

Greenbelle

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 10:05 pm

Definitely get him help. By all means do whatever you can to figure out what is going on.
Just never buy into the school's yardstick regarding your son's potential, value, etc.
you know already who your son is and you know it better than a rebbi who knows your son for less than 3 months with a few weeks of yom tov in between.
If you never saw social issues and now you do, it may be resulting from feeling he is not being successful in school.
If he's not successful in school, then try to 'catch' him doing all manner of excellent things at home.
take whatever you want from my post if you think it has any value and throw out the rest. You are not obligated to accept anything I wrote. it was motivated by care for your child.
ps. schools often get it wrong.

amother

Burgundy

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 10:09 pm

amother wrote:

OP, has he had speech therapy? And does he have trouble with rhyming?

Those are 2 red flags for dyslexia.

Difficulty with focusing or distractibility can be a red flag for dyslexia or ADD.

If he has red flags for those, it may be worth having him evaluated.

Why don't you encourage him to make play dates so you can get a feel for his social skills yourself?

It's possible the issue is neither that he's slow nor has an LD, but is just a late bloomer. And then there are kids who are "slower" but who catch onto reading with no problem.

What do *you* think?

Do you see him as a kid who has trouble making connections between things, grasping concepts (unrelated to reading) that you'd expect him to at age five?

Mommyg8

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 10:21 pm

Greenbelle wrote:

Definitely get him help. By all means do whatever you can to figure out what is going on.
Just never buy into the school's yardstick regarding your son's potential, value, etc.
you know already who your son is and yu know it better than a rebbi who knows your son for less than 3 months with a few weeks of yom tov in between.
If you never saw social issues and now you do, it may be resulting from feeling he is not being successful in school.
If he's not successful in school, then try to 'catch' him doing all manner of excellent things at home.
take whatever you want from my post if you think it has any value and throw out the rest. You are not obligated to accept anything I wrote. it was motivated by care for your child.
ps. schools often get it wrong.

I agree, don't buy into the schools yardstick! They are very often wrong. I'm saying this from experience.

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 10:32 pm

amother wrote:

He actually has speech therapy. I never tried rhyming with him but I doubt he could.

Miri7

Mon, Nov 20 2017, 10:43 pm

The behaviors during class could very well result from him being bored in class because he’s not getting what’s going on, feeling like he’s behind, or feeling like his Rebbi is frustrated or disappointed with him.

I agree with others that you should get more information and some sort of evaluation if needed. Some kids just learn differently and benefit from different approaches. Or these could be early signs of something like dislexia, add or something else. Lots of those issues are helped a lot by appropriate early intervention.

My third oldest sounds a lot like your son. He was super slow to learn reading in Hebrew and English. But he’s a brilliant kid who’s super well behaved in classes when he feels valued by the teacher. But only really good teachers have been able to see how bright he is, play to his strengths and help him succeed.