Great idea! Supper in bed!

LovesHashem

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 10:27 am

PinkFridge wrote:

I was thinking about that article. I never got around to fully reading it but I think at the very least, like I said, OP will see that she's not on uncharted territory.

That was one of those articles that articulated so well everything I believe. It was one of those things I've always known, like that you shouldn't force kids to eat. Like it's instinct not to starve, we are somewhat animalistic. I never understood people who force kids to eat. I've worked in gans before and the kids very well know you eat what they give, find something you like, and eat when it's eating time cuz we don't give out your favorite food whenever you want.

This outlook has always just been natural for me to think.

creditcards

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 8:42 pm

Thanks everyone for your advice.
Just wondering what the mishpacha article was about?
Today my cleaning lady was here while supper time. My son ran away from the table, and she said she will eat up his food. That made him run back to eat it.
I don't give them major bribes. I give them a little grape juice if they finish their plate, otherwise it's water
My kids like applesauce, yogurt, American cheese, and milk bottles (my 3 year old),and snacks. These are my bribes usually.

Mommyg8

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 9:37 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

I didn't read the article, but if the article says that kids will always eat, and don't need to be forced, ever, let me tell you a little story...

When I was a kid, I had a neighbor who force fed her kids, as she claimed they would literally starve otherwise. Me, being all of 16 very mature years, knew she was crazy. Well, fast forward 10 years, and I had a little darling of my own. Who literally. would. not. eat.

My doctor gave me some pretty dark speeches about his weight, and hinted at child services... if my child would not gain weight. So I learned the hard way, some kids don't eat. They just don't.

I never did force him - I just couldn't do it - but I did spend most of my waking hours trying to get him to eat.

Before it happened to me, I also thought that this was made up, but I found out that no, it's just not so.

OutATowner

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 10:43 pm

Mommyg8, I can relate. DS is skinny but not underweight, but he needs reminders and prompting to eat. Everyone says "kids wont starve." Well, how about becoming an out of control terror, who literally cries and screams and says "I don't know why I'm screaming, I can't stop!" If it gets to that point I literally put pieces of crackers in his mouth, between his sobs. Within minutes you can see a drastic metamorphosis back into a normal kid. People who have witnessed this say it's just downright scary. We do what we have to do.

Mommyg8

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 10:46 pm

OutATowner wrote:

I think that some kids just don't have that mechanism that tells them that they are hungry. They will go crazy, like you said, but don't realize that they need food... It's probably not that common, but when it happens, it's real.

creditcards

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 10:53 pm

OutATowner wrote:

Same with my kids. When they throw their tantrum I quickly feed them. And then the tantrum stops.

mfb wrote:

Since you mentioned they had snacks, I found with my picky eaters the best thing I can do was have supper hot and waiting when they walk in from school. Once they have a little snack and aren't starving I lost my chance with supper.

I usually try to feed my son when he comes home but he refuses. Then when he tantrums I just let him have a snack, because I need my sanity, and he is hungry.

LovetoLive

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 11:02 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

Agree. I have kids like this too. I have had to deal with a lot of "kids will eat when they're hungry " comments. No. Sometimes they really won't. It took a long time until I became confident that I knew what I was doing.
Those well meaning but so wrong comments really messed with my instinct.

NovelConcept

Wed, Nov 22 2017, 11:57 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

You should try the ideas they had in mishpacha 2 weeks ago.

I actually tried this tonight. It was fascinating! Usually my kids have trouble staying focused and eating, and fill up on carbs. Tonight, one kid who doesn't love veggies took a HUGE serving of salad and a bit of chicken. Ate it all up, no complaints.

The other kid, an over-eater, took a tiny bit of carbs, tons of chicken and veggies. Also ate well, no complaints, and for the first time in a LONG TIME did not ask for seconds.

My husband and I were so surprised!

NovelConcept

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 12:02 am

OutATowner wrote:

My kids are the same way. It's a blood sugar issue. Once you go so long without eating, the blood sugar drops and you act cookoo.

heidi

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 12:27 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

Not as dramatic as your story, but I was told by my doctor to feed my 2 year old cookies if he wouldn't eat anything else (this went against everything I believe in). He said the point was to get calories into him,and to worry about healthy food habits when he was up to a normal weight.

LovesHashem

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 4:36 am

Basically, for the idea to work you need to do it longterm.

It involves.

1. Never forcing kids to eat.
2. Having set meal times with the family
3. Making sure there is always one of the items in the meal that every kid will like. You know one kid likes rice, another bread, etc, make sure it's all out there.
4. nEVER EVER TELLING YOUR KID TO EAT MORE OR LESS. No getting upset over seconds, or not eating.

This creates a healthy relationship with food for your kids. They will learn to be intuitive to themselves. Food isn't a punishment, gift, or privledge. They learn to eat when they are hungry, stop when they are full, and listen to the things their body wants.

I think you need to have it in place for a few months before your kids are fully used to it.

Raw

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 5:10 am

sirel wrote:

If my kids say they're hungry once they're in bed I give them apples, and then I dont make them brush their teeth again.
For some reason, I have this idea in my head that apples clean your teeth Smile

no idea where I got that.

My dentist told me apples actually promote cavities because they’re acidic and get in all the teeth and crevices when chewed.,

ra_mom

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 8:01 am

NovelConcept wrote:

What are the ideas from Mishpacha?

Last edited by ra_mom on Thu, Nov 23 2017, 11:33 am; edited 1 time in total

Mommyg8

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 9:07 am

heidi wrote:

Yeah, I handed him cookies. He threw it into the garbage. I had to literally beg him to eat cookies! I'm very into health, but at that point my mother's intuition told me that he just needs calories (besides for the healthy food that I was serving him at meals, obviously). But my doctor told me to give him whatever he wants, and make sure to have the food he likes all the time. Which was difficult, as all he liked was potatoes, pizza and matzo (oh, and he liked cholent). Matzo is relatively easy, but potatoes and pizza at every meal? Or cholent? Anyway, is that enough to live on? I didn't think so.

I also completely changed my cooking habits. As I was always on a diet, I would serve mostly vegetables, and light protein and carbs, very little fat. It was at this point that I started adding oil to everything and frying everything. He's still skinny, but I gained weight Sad

Laiya

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 10:30 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

My pediatrician told me to get creative in figuring out how to sneak in extra calories. Ex. instead of crackers, give him crackers with peanut butter. Offer ice cream. Only whole milk. Etc.

I think that doctors tend to look at kids who aren't gaining, only in the immediate present. Like triage. The child needs calories to grow.

The problem is, the doctors aren't thinking about creating life-long eating habits and relationships with food.

Assuming it's not a digestive or hormonal issue, and no GI or endocrinologist is needed, there may be other ways to deal with picky eaters.

The issue could be due to low muscle tone in the mouth. This child refuses bagels, pizza, anything remotely difficult to chew.

The issue could be sensory. This was my ds who ate nothing but yogurt and dry cereal, and refused things that *every* child likes, like the frosting on a cupcake. An OT or eating therapist can work on these issues.